Monday, January 19, 2009

More We Live - Let Go

Help heal the victims/survivors of sexual abuse! Hear them and believe in them!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Conspiracy Allegations Around Child Sex Abuse


January 13, 2009 — Conspiracy allegations surrounding child sex abuse cases in Cornwall are being described as "outrageous" by one of Ontario's top judges. Associate Chief Justice Peter Griffiths says there was no ring of truth to the suggestion that city police, the local diocese and area crown's office agreed to cover-up child sex abuse. Griffiths was the regional senior crown at the time who asked for an investigation. Griffiths ended his testimony by apologizing to the victims. (Hear audio clip below) Hearings continue at 9:30 this morning.

Personality Conflict Between Officer And Crown: McConnery


January 14, 2009 — The outcome of some local child sex abuse cases may not have been in jeopardy even though an investigating officer and a Cornwall crown attorney did not get along. The Cornwall Public Inquiry heard yesterday from Assistant Crown attorney Lorne McConnery who testified that former O.P.P. Detective Inspector Pat Hall did not like Crown Shelley Hallett. McConnery says he does not know if the conflict influenced child sex abuse cases. (Hear audio clip below) Hall previously testified at the inquiry saying Hallett lied about her knowledge of a child sex abuse case. Hallett is scheduled to take the stand later this week.

Dunlop Plays Role In Stay Of Charges Against Priest-Inquiry


January 15, 2009 — It appears Perry Dunlop played a major role in the delay of a child sex abuse case involving a Cornwall priest. Assistant Crown attorney Lorne McConnery has spent the past two days testifying at the Cornwall Public Inquiry about the Father Charles MacDonald prosecution. Charges against MacDonald were stayed in 2002 after a judge ruled MacDonald's right to be tried in a reasonable time was violated. Court documents show the judge said Dunlop caused a large part of the delay because he failed to share information with police officers during the investigation. However, McConnery testified he did not believe the Crown's office could be responsible for Dunlop's actions. Dunlop is the former Cornwall police officer who did an off-hours investigation into child sex abuse allegations in the area. He served seven months behind bars last year for refusing to share his story at the inquiry. Meanwhile, McConnery says there is a failure in the courts when it comes to prioritizing trials that have been adjourned. (Hear audio clip below) Section 11(b) is part of the Charter of Rights that guarantees accused persons are tried within a reasonable amount of time. Hearings continue at 9:30 this morning.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Ontario Hears Why Quebec Got A Conviction And Cornwall Didn't


January 09, 2009 — Did "reasonable doubt" play a role in why a priest was acquitted of sexual abuse in Cornwall but later convicted in Quebec? Assistant Crown attorney Alain Godin told the Cornwall Public Inquiry yesterday that he prosecuted a number of Project Truth cases in the 1990s including Father Paul Lapierre. Lapierre was acquitted in Ontario in 2001 but was later found guilty of similar charges involving the same complainant in a Quebec court. Godin says Lapierre was not convicted in Ontario because he testified and defended himself. Lapierre did not testify at his Quebec trial. (Hear audio below) Hearings continue this morning at 9:30am.

Has Interest Been Lost In Cornwall Public Inquiry?


January 09, 2009 — With only 16 hearing days left to go at the Cornwall Public Inquiry before they wrap things up, the pressure is on to finish witness testimony. Lead Commission Council Peter Englemann says that means sitting longer days and being more selective with who they call to the stand. Englemann spoke on John Bolton's Cornwall Today and admits that due to its three year length, this inquiry has been difficult to follow. (Hear audio clip below) Englemann hopes that the inquiry's legacy will be that Cornwall is now an example of how to properly deal with sexual abuse allegations. (For the complete interview, click on John Bolton's Cornwall Today icon.)

Exemplary Record Results In Absolute Discharge For City Lawyer-Flanagan


January 09, 2009 — Why did a Cornwall lawyer receive an absolute discharge for attempting to obstruct justice in a child sex abuse case? Crown attorney Curt Flanagan says Malcolm MacDonald received an absolute discharge because he pled guilty to the charge and had an exemplary background. An absolute discharge means the accused is regarded as not being convicted of the crime. MacDonald pled guilty in 1995 to attempting to obstruct justice after arranging a $32,000 settlement and advising an alleged victim to drop his criminal complaint against a city priest. Flanagan told the Cornwall Public Inquiry today MacDonald made a "gross error". (Hear audio clip below) Hearings continue Monday at 9:30.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Inquiry Testimony In The Final Stretch


January 06, 2009 — Cornwallites have been looking forward to the end of the Cornwall Public Inquiry for a long time and it's almost here. January marks the final month of testimony, three years after the first of more than 150 witnesses took the stand. Some residents testified about their personal battle with sexual abuse while various experts weighed in on the long term effects. Dozens of others including police officers, lawyers and organizational heads detailed their institution's response to child sex abuse allegations. The Ministry of the Attorney General's Office is the final institution to testify. That office has faced its fair share of criticism because there was only one criminal conviction after 15 local men faced over 100 sex related charges. Cornwall's former Crown attorney Don Johnson is the next witness. Hearings resume at 9:30am today.

Sex Offender Not Placed Under Certain Release Conditions


Sex Offender Not Placed Under Certain Release Conditions-Inquiry
January 06, 2009 — There is little explanation why a sex offender in Cornwall was not under certain release conditions in the 1980s. Former Crown attorney Don Johnson told the Cornwall Public Inquiry today he does not know why Jean Luc Leblanc was able to contact victims and be around children. Johnson says that would not be the case today. (Hear audio clip below) Leblanc was sentenced to three years probation in 1986 on gross indecency charges. Leblanc plead guilty in 2001 to additional sex related charges. He is currently behind bars. Hearings continue.
Audio:

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Child sexual abuse song Be A Voice with lyrics

Be a voice for the victims/survivors of Cornwall Ontario, Canada! Please take the time to sign our petition and let the victims know that YOU HEAR THEM! Justice and truth must come out in this town! Thank you

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Local Fiery Death Ruled A Suicide


Local Fiery Death Ruled A Suicide
December 29, 2008 — Local O.P.P. have now closed their investigation into the fiery death of a man whose body was discovered last month inside a burned-out vehicle near the Cornwall Regional Airport saying the death did not involve foul play. Police say the death was self-inflicted and that the fire seemed to have been set off by the victim. The man's identity is still being determined, with DNA samples being examined in Toronto. The body was so badly burned it took days following the incident to determine the victim's gender.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Enough!!

Hello, today I was just reading the article about my father Raymond Rivette when he was sentenced in 1992, it's at the bottom of this page. I read the second one and couldn't help but notice something very important to me. The Judge mentioned that even though my father wasn't deemed a pedophile he is a danger to children especially his grandchildren if he returned to drinking???????? That raises many concerns with me! For one: Does that mean that alcoholics or drinkers are a danger to their children or grandchildren, that they would sexually abuse them??? It wasn't the drinking that made my father do the things he did to me...most of the time he was sober. The drinking was just an excuse, I don't understand how they could say that he is a danger to children only if he drank! My father also did things to my girlfriends and once I remember my mother telling me that he slept with over 21 women she could count and knew of! My biggest concern is that there is a little boy that lives across the street from him...I don't know if he still lives there but I phoned the Cornwall Children's Aid to tell them that this little boy goes over there to play with him and they just laughed at me and told me I don't have any proof!! I told them that I am the proof!! My mother wouldn't do anything to stop my dad if he were to do something to that little boy, because she never did anything to stop my dad from doing things to me! I don't understand why Cornwall is trying so hard to protect these perpetrators!!
I know that Christmas is soon to be here and this topic I should save for later but I just can't help myself to pull away from the thought that the sexual abuse might still be happening and there is nothing I can do to protect any child from Cornwall! The authorities don't seem to care in Cornwall and that really upsets me! My father not only touched me as you see in the newspaper article, it was much more than that, to me it was a life time, at least till I was 21. I am strongly thinking about charging him for rape and what he did to me when I was 14, and my mother knowing about it and taking me to the doctors for an abortion!
Part of me says that it is over that there is nothing I can do about it...but another strong part of me says that if I don't...he may do it to someone else..how painful would that be if I found out that he did something to some child and I could have done something to protect that child! I told CAS in Cornwall but nothing was done...so what do I do now?? I just frustrates me that the judge said that...because I know that drinking doesn't cause a person to molest or rape another..it has to be that in their minds they are already a predator...nothing to do with drinking...where did they get such a statement?? Did they take surveys from drunk people? Are you capable of raping or molesting a child because you drink?? because that is what they are saying...that is what the judge said ( or the Kingston place he went to for assessment) if that is where the comment came from then we are all in deep dirt, because if they believe one can molest because of drinking then there is a lot more people out there then we would want to believe! That is truly impossible, I totally disagree with that...and again..my father didn't have alcohol on his breath when he was raping me!!! He didn't have to because I always did what I was told...my mother made sure of that!! OK, now I am not to happy here...I am getting upset...this really touched a cord in me!! When will this go away???

Mom if you are reading this...I hope you can see what you have done to me...you always stood by dad no matter what...you sacrificed your children for him!! You brought me into this world and yet instead of treating me like I was your daughter you treated me like I was your replacement...you know when you and dad would get mad at each other and he wanted to have sex with you and you didn't...you yelled and screamed at him..( I remember, I was downstairs and at night I could hear you screaming...)Well, instead..dad came down to my room...either he gave you the sleeping pills to take or you took them, I don't know...but all I know is that he came down stairs to finish what you couldn't do! You knew this and didn't stop it!! Remember when I was 14, that is when you took off with your sisters to go on a vacation after pepere died...that's when dad took advantage of me more because YOU weren't there!!!!!! Many months later you took me to that butcher doctor, do you remember that?? You told aunt Jackline what dad did to me...I know this because I phoned you up when you were over there and I was bleeding to death...remember?? I have to hear from you Mom...I need to know WHY you did this!!! I don't want a phone call from you to say the least but I want you to tell me WHY....comment back here and tell me WHY because I deserve the answer!!! If you couldn't protect me back then because you had your own problems or what ever...then please set me free by at least telling me WHY you did that to me...WHY you took me to that butcher doctor!! because I need to know!!!
If you can't say it to me...than get one of my sisters to comment on here for you!!
I can't continue on to have a happy life if this haunts me so much...I need these answers...I am sorry that I have to put it out here for everyone to read but you have left me no other choice...you told me to keep quiet about this but I can no longer keep it in...now everyone will see...and I didn't want this to go that way..but I am sure you didn't want me to get pregnant with dads kid neither!!!! but that happened and I can't do anything about that....do you know the physical damage because of what this butcher doctor did to me...do you know what my insides are like now??? I have a lot of physical problems because of what he did!!! Can you take that away for me mom??? Why was it that when I had my first son that you told me you were sorry that I had to have a c-section....was it because the butcher doctor didn't want me to remember what he did to me??? Was it because he knew that he messed it up so bad inside that I couldn't have delivered naturally??? why did I need to have a needle when I was pregnant for my first son??? because that special needle you take ..you only get because of the first child you have because the second child could die because of my blood type...I didn't find out this info for many many years later....my mind and body had a complete shutdown!! Why would that be MOM!!!
What a way to remember or even think about when it's so close to Christmas...You know...I even no around the time and year down to the month...what it was like outside when it happened....what I was eating that day when dad did that to me...isn't that amazing how the memory knows this kind of stuff...how the memory even knows WHAT FOOD YOU ATE THAT DAY!!!! ENOUGH!!!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Christmas


Hello, I wanted to talk today about the Holidays, "which is not surprising for many people". I know that for many-Christmas is the best time of the year (which is very good)but as you might know-Christmas is hard for other people. There are families who find it hard to celebrate for many reasons, I can't say that it's money being the first thing...in my opinion I believe it's the memories of the adults Christmas that brings back a time that wasn't so happy; whether it's wanting to give their children everything that they didn't have or maybe not being able to give them much because they never had much. Unfortunately they believe that if they didn't have a Christmas why should their child have one, they might say,"Oh, get over it, I didn't have anything for Christmas that I can remember, so don't pout, be happy with what you have, some kids across the world don't even have gifts or even celebrate Christmas". Then with the parent saying this, the child's Christmas might carry into his or her family tradition thus causing a repeated dysfunctional Holiday. As for the parent that wants the child to have everything, it may cause a repeated-in the red- bank account if they don't have the money to give their child everything but spends what they don't have. I believe that is why many people have racked up credit cards and unpaid rent for January, they will do what ever is needed to give their child everything that they didn't have. "Is this good? I don't believe it is..because soon the parents after the holidays will start arguing over bills that haven't been paid because of Christmas and then they keep struggling to catch up. For the families that have the true meaning of Christmas and know that Christmas is NOT about themselves...that it's about their Children, that it's about sharing their time and love with them, example: baking together for the coming holiday, building snowman's, watching Christmas shows together, singing carols, reading the story of Saint Nick, and mainly just being their with them. Knowing that there can be a few gifts for the child..maybe one or two that the child really wants...what about making something for the child...I know the children of today would say..."What!! that's not what I asked for...OH, thanks.."
What if this Christmas you were to do that...maybe they wouldn't like it as much but they may get used to it if in return you spent more time with them..next year would be easier then the following year even better. I believe the children of today..most of them are used to getting what they want, again I believe it's the guilt parents have within themselves ( their past, maybe they spent to much time at work- guilt can add to this)One thing I thought of, what if the families that have a child that have way to many toys, and really doesn't even know what he or she wants for Christmas-what if the family spoke about maybe giving some of their toys for Christmas to others that don't have any...you would not believe the emotion that one can feel after giving...maybe just one toy the child can give...explaining and showing the "heart of Christmas"....starting this tradition might be a good one for when the child is really young, so when they get older they are use to giving and knows it makes them feel good. Wouldn't that be something to teach your child? and your child would eventually do this for his or her generation to be. I don't know...maybe I am just rambling on here:) I can say that I believe Christmas does make people feel more- whether it's good or bad...Christmas has a magical way of bringing in emotions and miracles. What about the families who have been far apart for many years because of hurt and then one Christmas..maybe this Christmas they call and for the first time they tell each other how they feel. Why is that? Could it be because Christmas is about a "child" a child....Christmas brings emotion because of OUR childhood....what it was like growing up, if we had Santa bring us toys or mom reading us a book or dad making that special sled or taking us out on a ride down the snowy hill...or our sister's and brother's playing with us with our new toys. Maybe it wasn't all Rosy at Christmas...abuse that happens, yelling going on, parents being drunk, fighting siblings, something you had asked Santa for and it didn't come under the tree.."you know, that special toy you always wanted". Christmas does bring up our past; what do we do with it? We can always start a new tradition...we can keep the same traditions that we were use to...we can celebrate it on a different day...it is our choice to change or keep the same for our children. If Christmas is hard for you each Holiday...then maybe it is time for a change...maybe you can do something different this Holiday...I know it's hard for people to make change...but if you don't...you will never know:) It's not a sin to change a tradition..especially if it's YOUR family now...if you decide to keep your tradition because Christmas is always a happy time for you then I would say " I am happy for you that you are having a wonderful Christmas:)sharing that with your children is something healthy for them to carry on to their future Christmas traditions.
I use to remember when my Christmas childhoods were not the greatest, unfortunately I carried pain to many other Christmas's with my children when they were young..I did a lot of crying on this Holiday. Staying in my room for the day while the children celebrated Christmas with their father, was something they were use to. I was always sick...heart broken, confused and sometimes got drunk, wanting to forget the pain was something I always tried to do, "numb it away" other times when company came around...I use to put, shall I say " a face on" till our company left, going to the washroom off and on just to cry, then straightening up myself and walking back into the living room like nothing happened. Times for me have changed...a lot of counselling...I know longer do this, I have seen my actions and talked through the pain, then realized it didn't have to be this way...I didn't have to ruin it for my children nor myself...I could make that change, that tradition....things at Christmas did change and I am still here:) I am not saying that I am really happy at Christmas..it still effects me a bit...but I am working on it:) I haven't spoken to my sister's in a long time...my mother I haven't spoken to all but 5 minutes which in itself was very bad in 2005 and before that, haven't seen her since 2001..and well..I'm working on memories and trying to heal, my father...I have pity for him because he is going to be going...well only God knows....as for my brother, I love him dearly and wish I could see him but because of the hurt that both of us went through ..well, I believe it would be hard to talk or see each other...because in reality, seeing each other reminds us of the past and that can't be stopped...we both have to be ready to talk about it, accept and heal together. I believe God will know when it's time...as for now, my children need me and my youngest needs a happy tradition to pass on to her family:)
OH! I have great news!! I am now officially a GRANDMOTHER!!!:):):) How wonderful is that!! My oldest son and his wife, had a BABY BOY!! My Grandson!:) He was born on December 14th...it is so hard to tell you how I felt when I held him in my arms for the first time, knowing that my oldest baby had a baby of his own...and by the way..now I can say I have grey hair because I am a proud Grandma:) How much appreciation I had for his wife...she did the most important thing in this world and created a miracle "bringing a child into this world" I never looked at it this way...not even when I had my own children...I never realized how important I was for bringing my beautiful children into this world.........WOW, I am now speechless!! This world is all about "CHILDREN" even ourselves, we were once children...lets just take a moment through the Holidays and look at our family...our own children and if you don't have children find the child within you and GIVE your child a great big hug and do the things you always wanted to do around Christmas time " Have fun! play games, songs, sleigh rides, movies, a warm blanket by the fire, decorate, there is so much more...allow yourself to have this and share it because YOU are worth it and most importantly ..so is your child or children:)

Have a wonderful Christmas:) May all your blessings be given to your family and your laughter be shared with others!:)
Until next time, have a great night and or day!

AM 1220 Cornwall's Crown Attorney Gets Set To Testify


Cornwall's Crown Attorney Gets Set To Testify
December 15, 2008 — Cornwall's Crown attorney will be taking the stand at the public inquiry this week. Murray MacDonald will explain how he dealt with prosecutions relating to historical child sex abuse cases. Cornwall lawyer Don Johnson is also on the schedule. Inquiry staff say Johnson was the Crown from 1972 until 1991. However, neither of them will take the stand until former O.P.P. Detective Inspector Pat Hall finishes his testimony. Today will be his tenth day as a witness. Hearings begin at 9:30 on Tuesday.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Lawyer Offers Kind words To Inquiry Witness


Lawyer Offers Kind Words To Inquiry Witness
December 12, 2008 — There were kind words for an O.P.P. witness from a lawyer at the Cornwall Public Inquiry. In an unusual move, Michael Neville who represents two men accused of abuse, shared a few comments about former Detective Inspector Pat Hall after questioning him yesterday. (Hear audio clip below) Hall has testified for nine days about his role in a prominent sex abuse investigation dubbed Project Truth. Neville represents former probation officer Ken Seguin and Father Charles MacDonald but neither have ever been convicted. Hall's testimony continues when hearings resume Monday at 9:30.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Blamed Dunlop for failed prosecution:retired cop


Please click on the link "Blamed Dunlop for failed prosecution:retired cop" above this, it will take you to the article that was written by the Standard Freeholder, comments are also there! You will not believe it! Again a police officer puts the blame on someone else for his own wrong doings!
Pictured here above, is Det. Insp. Pat Hall
Staff Photo/Pritchard-TP08120899

I found this article while surfing, concerning "Perry Dunlop" London Free Press "Letter to Editor"


Letter to Editor
UNLESS otherwise noted, these letters are to be considered unedited. The opinions expressed in the letters and comments are those of the writers and not of The London Free Press.

politics
Folk Hero, Perry Dunlop
Editor Every Newspaper Possible Perry Dunlop a Folk Hero Perhaps the very losing of their jobs, causing of family strife and stress or even going to jail for what they see or saw as injustices is what keeps most whistleblowers silent. Perhaps that is the very desire of malicious doers of fraudulent and deviant, even criminal behaviors. They like to hide behind smoke screens and enablers such as weak kneed co-workers and boss's who want to protect issues from public knowledge at all costs.

I think that a lot of what has come to the position Perry finds himself in has evolved as a direct result of just that kind of repugnant but cultist cohesion of clubist's fraternities/mentalities, which have been a normal reaction for all time. Hang the one for the sake of all.

Well, I believe this nation owes Perry a cultist counter reaction. Every able bodied person, children at schools and those that believe in doing the right thing at all costs must write phone and even support Helen and Perry Dunlop in any way they can. This plea is one of mine. I don't know many address's but if you do, follow-up now to your MPP, your MP, any anyone else you can think of that together we can raise such a stink people will begin to realize that though the law is the law and should apply even and equal to all, it really hasn't in this case.

I read a good book lately called Outrage. It was about a guy who kill another. He turned himself in and demanded his punishment. Well, the man he killed had been out on bail after raping and murdering his daughter. Touching story. His wife died of heart failure and he was overwhelmed with pity. Seems the man out on bail had raped another girl but all was thrown out of court because the police forgot to notify his first lawyer of the new charges, so the distraught man felt he had to take things into his own hand. He was prepared to give his life for the sake of others. Finally true justice prevailed and the jury set him free. Yes, the law is the law but prevailing potential harm to others was averted. Perry is such a man.

No one agrees with vigilantism, but we do agree with some wars. To Perry, I believe that his cause was a war and he had no choice but to save what he saw was many other potential victims in the Cornwall activities unless he acted as he did.

Now it is our duty as citizens of this fine country to stand behind him and do our part to see that his injustice is forgiven by the courts. Two wrongs don't make a right but the Project Truth Inquiry here in Cornwall seemed fit in overstepping its bounds by evoking testimony from raped male and female victims only to have all that dredging thrown out of court by another court for overstepping its mandate. It's time for leniency for Perry.

Canada. its time to stand before his sentencing on March 5 in a Toronto court for standing on principle. The good of others at the risk of ourselves is his honor. He needs our anger and support now.



POSTED BY: Dave Windsor, Cornwall
POSTED ON: February 22, 2008
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Comments
What message are we giving By arresting Perry Dunlop what kind of message are giving to pedophiles? That its OK to hurt children and get away with it? That the citizens of Cornwall are blind and week? That we parents have no right to protect our children, from sexual crimes because the people who did them are priests,cop,lawyers and other people who are suppose to hold a higher standard. Shame on the police force for not backing a true hero.And how much was the judge paid? I hope you have a conscious and it drives you insane. It should be a short trip!!!
POSTED BY: Cecile Foubert

AM 1220 Covering "Cornwall Public Inquiry

Some Potential Witnesses/Victims Not Interviewed-Inquiry
December 10, 2008 — It seems some potential witnesses or possible child sex abuse victims were not approached by the police during the Project Truth investigation. Former O.P.P. Detective Inspector Pat Hall says he did not want officers knocking on doors and soliciting complaints in 2000. He says police had been working on the case since 1997 so people had a few years to consider whether to come forward. Hall says if someone had an allegation they could call them. (Hear audio clip below) The O.P.P charged 15 local men with over 100 charges during the investigation but there was only one connection. Testimony wrapped up early due to the weather. Hearings continue this morning at 10:30.
Audio:

AM 1220 Covering "Cornwall Public Inquiry


Inquiry Looks To Public For Recommendations
December 10, 2008 — The Cornwall Public Inquiry is on the home stretch with many looking to the last chapter. Commissioner Normand Glaude announced today the inquiry will start taking submissions from the public on how child sex abuse allegations should be dealt with. (Hear audio clip below) Those phase two submissions deal with healing and reconciliation. Meanwhile, parties with standing at the inquiry will have a chance to make closing remarks in February. Inquiry testimony continues today with former O.P.P Detective Inspector Pat Hall.

Monday, December 8, 2008

OPP Officer Lashes Out At Inquiry


Local News
Home news Local News OPP officer lashes out at inquiry, Engelmann
OPP officer lashes out at inquiry, Engelmann
Posted 4 mins ago


A retired Ontario Provincial Police officer delivered a scathing critique Monday of the Cornwall Public Inquiry in general, and its lead commision counsel in particular.

Reading from a prepared statement, Det. Insp. Pat Hall compared the long-running sexual abuse inquiry to his own work with Project Truth, the OPP's four-year probe into allegations a clandestine ring of pedophiles operated in the Cornwall area.

“During the past week, I have been continuously asked why various investigations took so long,” Hall told inquiry commissioner Normand Glaude.

“Mr. Commissioner, why is this inquiry taking so long?”

Hall then suggested the commissioner should not have chosen “labour lawyer” Peter Engelmann as its main counsel, when “all the matters surrounding this inquiry are criminal in nature.”

Engelmann is a partner with Ontario labour law firm Sack Goldblatt Mitchell, and is described on the inquiry's website as a “leading labour, human rights, and employment lawyer” in Canada.

Hall also saved some vitriol for Queen's Park, which has announced that testimony at the inquiry – which has been hearing witnesses since February 2006 – must wrap up by the end of January.

“It's a sad day when politics calls for an inquiry, and politics shuts it down,” said Hall.

“There should be an inquiry into the conduct of this inquiry.”

For the full story, see Tuesday's Standard-Freeholder.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

In regards to a comment left about " Law of Averages"

I was not trying to determine the number of predators in and around Cornwall, I was hoping to cast a little light on the harsh reality of vast numbers of people who are directly or indirectly affected by the few who believe society children are their playground for their perverted compulsions. The final number I had was not to represent the number of molesters, but the number of people who have been touched in one way or another from a loved one being a victim in Cornwall over a what are they claiming, 50-60 year period. Many of these people have moved, have passed on or chose to forget their experiences. You may not like the fact it's Cornwall they are saying this about, but I can't think of any other town having an Inquiry let alone something of this magnitude being held. This is definitely a problem the whole world shares but I don't know if any other towns police would be giving such sketchy testimony full of holes and despite all knowing what was going on, not one did anything positive about it except the one police officer they imprisoned, first for not following proper reporting to his superior officer, so he could dispose of the matter the way they did with everything else. Then throw him in jail for not having faith in the Legal System or for that matter the agenda set up for this Inquiry. He did what he could do to protect the children of Cornwall and as we have been told, every check point put in place to be sure this amount of vile corruption can't take place either assumed someone else would catch it or just plainly found a scapegoat to blame the end results on. Evidence destroyed, police on leave, people unable to testify due to medical reasons, so many people being charged proven to be guilty yet still given a discharge agreed to by a crown that years later was proven guilty himself of the same such behavior. Many other cities have these other problems you've mentioned but how many are being investigated for running the prostitution trade, or the police dealing the drugs or officials of the town being blamed for the crimes being committed. As for grow up, be a man and give my daughter the life she deserves, "you know nothing of our family life". My daughter knows bad things exist. They teach that stranger danger in every school across Canada except I'm guessing Cornwall. We just received her A's and B's Report card and we are so proud of what she has become. We spend so much time with her and she helps me with almost everything I do. We are all so happy with our home life, and buddy, I'm not even from Cornwall but I have come to know many scared, self harming, insecure people who moved from there and they all say the same thing about that place. There is an underground evil there that must be watched over by the devil himself. You take statistics and word them as you wish to create bad feelings for the group. Try saying to them what's said, all over Canada there are at least 25,500 people who's lives have been touched by the sexual crimes gone on without penalty in Cornwall. Not victims just people who care for others. Brothers, sisters, all family, try friends, girlfriends, parents, grandparents. You had better open your eyes and have a good look at what is happening. Do you really believe all this is not true or are you hiding your own abuse because you feel your manhood threatened by saying it happened to you or someone you know. Or are you one of the abusers who are trying to take the focus away from Cornwall?

By: Jim

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Law of Averages

I heard on several news broadcasts that the average pedophile abuses 85 people before they are caught! If the system failed and there were no controls in place to make them fear being caught, one could just imagine how much higher that average number could jump. If anyone concerned could imagine that higher number-then multiply it by the staggeringly high number of predators that just happened to call Cornwall home, OK, I'll pause while you calculate it.....now imagine after all those years a very low estimate would be one of their parents living, they have married just once and have had only one child. So, being Conservative take your last number and multiply it by 3. That does not figure in siblings, grandparents, friends, or any other family or friends for that matter. I have kept all my estimates low. I took the 85 people times 100 pedophiles in Cornwall,( there were more than 100 charges laid in the Project Truth investigation alone )" times only 3 friends, family, or loved ones, the total estimate- 25,500 people, fully half the population of the town. Some of the officials of that town were partially responsible for imprisoning the only police officer that would come foreword for the safety of children. By the way, the rest of Canada believes he shouldn't have been charged, he was given a GOLDEN AWARD when he came out. I have been very conservative in my estimates. That means the town of Cornwall's Priest's, police and many other prominent people have torn apart the lives of at least 25,500 people! I want to emphasize that the victims are in no way responsible for the fall-out, for lack of a better word, from what these monsters have done to them. I mean for example, my wife Brigette is loved by both myself and our daughter and there is nothing that can change that, but because of what that town has put her through, it hurts both of us to see her pain. To know first hand that this kind of evil exists and to be supportive in all parts of her recovery, counseling, and dealing with her past. She has the physical scars and we all share the emotional scars dealt out by these cowards. At least we know with work and in time, we will all grow stronger and better but the predators will always live in fear that one of the numerous victims they have threatened and hurt- will grow strong enough to fight back. Every day every one of them could possibly hear that cell door slam behind them, and I don't have to tell anyone how much respect they will receive being locked up with several people whose lives went bad, usually because they themselves were abused when young by someone just like them. That is a perfect picture to end my thoughts with....

By: Jim

Hello


Hi, I just wanted to let you know that I added reviews from http://www.linkreferral.com "they are comments made about my website that I would like to share with you. The comments are at the bottom of my page "just a little hint:) if you want to get to the bottom of the page quicker, just left click and hold on the right bar and scroll down" it's a lot faster if you want to get to the bottom of the page, You already may have known this :) I hope you are enjoying being here:) I enjoy having you here and love the comments that you send to me. If there is something that you would like to ask me, please leave a comment after my post or you can leave it in the box under "Leave a comment or chat" it's on the right side of this page. I will get back with an answer as soon as I can. Thank you, and have a beautiful day!

Your Friend,

Brigette

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Deepak Chopra on: Releasing Emotion Toxins

"Releasing Emotion Toxins"

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

A View from below

How beautiful the world can be-in the eyes of a child. How beautiful the world once was-in the eyes of an adult. A day, I choose to see this world through sunglasses, better to have pretended then to have seen the change of human behaviour-to animal instincts. What causes this change-lost sheep in this world with no guidance, looks for safety-finds none, searches for acceptance-empty, searches for pleasures-no knowledge, seeks the truth-finds lies. The world has fallen into a pattern of power, money, control, greed, and worst of all conformity to social inadequacy- where laws are made unjustified, where truth can be hidden in the blind wall of justice. Why do we choose to conform-no hassles, why do we choose to follow-we need guidance-(the lost sheep must go somewhere)-we pay the price for our suspicious freedom. Why does one ponder-sitting in a chair-"time" to pass by, why does one "wish", "dream", "hope"-all taken away- we are not the money makers-we are the makers money-we are their wish, dream, and hope-they have theirs-they have ours- so, we stay on this lily pad of-conformity, some say "jump" and you will drown, others say, "hop" we will catch you. No one ever said, "take a large leap! There is no testing of the waters-do and it will be done!

By: Brigette

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Abuse that breaks a childs trust

Hello, I wanted to add this link above because it is so true. Being sexually abused by my dad has made me in the past create personalities. I am still going for therapy every week or mostly every week, trying to understand how to cope with my personalities. It has been a long journey. Life has been difficult. I am trying to communicate with you, as you see I am having a hard time to speak at this time. It's been a while since I spoke with you, I apologize, lately I have not been feeling very well. I have been back and forth to the doctors testing for heart problems and blood clots, the doctors have been puzzled as to what is going on with me, that is no surprise for me. My physical body has been mostly torn apart on the inside. Many operations, many unexplained happenings. I am not well put together I guess you can say.I am at a standstill right now in my life, it's like my body is walking around but nobody home. I do however for some reason get really upset when I read articles from Cornwall to do with the Inquiry. I don't really understand why but all I can say is most of the time if I read the article I start to pace the floor upset. I guess in some way I am frustrated with the fact that the perpetrators are again being protected and the victims are being crucified all over again. What is going to happen when this Inquiry is all done? It's like going to the councillors and spilling out everything that was horrific in your life then the councillor saying, "OK, your time is up", you stand there in disbelief, your stomach starts to ache and burn and your throat hurts, you want to cry but if you start crying "you may never stop", so what do you do? I just thought of somebody who left in here a comment, one of their comments were, "throw out your computer and stop reading articles". I only wish I could, but for me "this is healing" that almost sounded like my mother talking, she would tell me to leave the past behind you and move forward. Well if anyone knows about being sexually abused for 20 odd years by a family member and others, one would know that you can't just put it behind you. It eats at you till you deal with it, till you bring it out in the open, if you don't then you will hide it with all kinds of "crutches" healing hurts bad, really bad, you would do anything to avoid it. Until you start to talk about it your body will crave for something in replace of it "your pain" for another. It might be self mutilation, alchol, drugs,excessive compulsions, anything, until you start to let it out. When you are done "or you think you are done" only to notice that there is more, more that you didn't think was there. You say to yourself." I talked about everything, how can I possibly have anymore" you continue for a long time and even after when you reach that time, there is still more. I know this sounds like a broken record that goes on and on, you say, " will this ever stop, will I ever get better, will the memories ever stop, will I ever have a normal life. I for one have not reached the point that I can say " this is it, this is all that has to come out, I am healed. My journey is a long one, it's been 21 years of sexual abuse, it won't happen over night for me. I was once told by a friend that " I survived the abuse, so I can survive the journey that is in front of me.
I don't know if I made much sense tonight, I don't feel like I am strong inside right now. Maybe tomorrow will be better for me. Well I must say goodnight, I wish you well for tomorrow, have a free day that was given to you " what you choose to do with it, is your choice.

Your friend,
Brigette

Saturday, November 1, 2008

OPP Investigated probation officer

Local News
Home news Local News OPP investigated probation officer
OPP investigated probation officer
Cornwall Public Inquiry
Posted By TREVOR PRITCHARD, STANDARD-FREEHOLDER
Posted 15 hours ago


The Ontario Provincial Police investigated now-deceased probation officer Nelson Barque more than a decade before he pleaded guilty to sexually abusing a teenage boy, the Cornwall Public Inquiry heard Friday.

Det. Const. Chris McDonell testified one of his former colleagues at the OPP's Lancaster detachment, Const. Terry Seguin, looked into allegations against Barque in 1980 or 1981.

No other witness at the long-running sexual abuse inquiry has said anything about the OPP investigating Barque -- who committed suicide in 1998 - in the early 1980s.

However, Barque's one-time supervisor, Peter Sirrs, testified last November that he contacted both the Cornwall police and the RCMP in 1982 after hearing complaints about Barque.

Barque resigned from the Cornwall probation office that year, after Sirrs' investigation revealed he was having sex with at least two probationers and providing them drugs and alcohol. Three years later, Barque was convicted of indecent assault.

"Were you aware (of) the circumstances under which he left (the probation office)?" inquiry commissioner Normand Glaude asked McDonell.

"Yes, I was," said McDonell.

"And how did you find that out?" asked Glaude.

"Because they originated out of Lancaster," said McDonell. "I knew the officer that investigated it."

No details emerged Friday about the depth of Const. Seguin's investigation.

McDonell spent 26 years at the Lancaster detachment before retiring in 1999. He is now the deputy mayor of North Glengarry.

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Commission lawyers were asking McDonell about Barque because his name had come up during the retired officer's 1993-94 investigation into another probation officer, Ken Seguin.

Before he committed suicide in November 1993, Ken Seguin had also been suspected of sexually abusing probationers.

McDonell investigated his death and, later, extortion allegations made by Ken Seguin's family against David Silmser, one of the probation officer's alleged victims.

One of the people McDonell interviewed was Jos van Diepen, who had been a colleague of both Barque and Ken Seguin.

According to records of the February 1994 interview, van Diepen said he "always felt (Barque and Ken Seguin) had a little thing going" and that he "didn't know if they were gay but they acted differently."

Inquiry lawyer Karen Jones asked why McDonell didn't look closer into the "unsavory things" he was hearing about Barque.

McDonell said he figured van Diepen was talking about his colleague's earlier investigation.

"But it's not 100 per cent clear, is it?" asked Jones. "There's a possibility there could have been other sexual misconduct on the part of Nelson Barque being revealed to you in February 1994, but you didn't do any further investigation on that."

"No I did not," said McDonell.

After Ken Seguin's death, his family complained to the OPP about McDonell, saying his investigation into his suicide had been biased.

Nevertheless, McDonell was still assigned to look into the extortion allegations against Silmser, who had called Ken Seguin the night before he died.

Citizens for Community Renewal attorney Juda Strawczynski asked McDonell -- who said he never knew of the family's complaints -- whether he felt it was appropriate to be assigned the extortion case.

"I always did what I was told or asked," said McDonell. "If they asked me to go on it, I would go on it."

Neither the abuse allegations against Ken Seguin, nor the claims of extortion involving Silmser, were ever proven in court.

The inquiry resumes Nov. 10 with a new witness.

Article ID# 1276297

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

I never really left

When I was able to work full time, I never took a holiday. I never thought I had the time to and I always thought resting my mind and body wouldn't help, it would just leave more for me to do when I returned. So, acting as I always have, my only break from these Cornwall issues was to walk away totally. They have caused my family so much pain and sorrow, I wanted my life back without the memories of the past there to jeopardize it's growth. I have learned two very important lessons in my actions. The first is there comes a point when everyone needs a break from their daily routines and problems to rest and regain your focus. The second is the past is always with you like a festering wound UNTIL it gets the attention it requires. Most often it just means to allow yourself to accept the bitter reality that, yes, it did happen to you and allow the pain to be felt. Only then can we move on to live in the present and hope for the future. There is only so much room for us to force back harsh memories and they steal the room or emotion meant for today. I believe the victims of this Inquiry are asking for just that, the past MUST be dealt with before we can live for the moment and dream of the future. For how can anyone have pleasant dreams when there are so many tragic nightmares. The honesty and justice for the past will close the book on this subject for most and give them what everyone deserves, the right to pursue a good life FREE from events that happened that were beyond our control, but in the control of those who swore to protect us. The ones that were elected, appointed or hired to be sure justice prevailed, must stand back and have a look at what is happening before our very eyes and recognize at what point did these problems from the past cross their desk and at what point did they make that conscious decision to allow the evil to continue with little or no resistance. We would not be where we are today if even one man refused to compromise their integrity and fought for truth and justice with Perry Dunlop. What a lesson learned from his imprisonment eh? All will be punished for telling the truth and those who corrupt their morals and lie with us will be rewarded-"was that the message the courts were giving us?" I love my country and find it so hard to accept this could happen, while being investigated right in front of our eyes. So many people were allowed to continue their lies while those seeking or testifying the truth were placed in the to be "silenced pile". We could almost see the guilty growing horns as we watched them squirm on the stand. I am glad, in time, I decided to continue with this fight for truth. I am proud to say the wedge that was being driven between Brigette and I has been removed and we continue to support each other. Cornwall once again almost cost me the one I love. This Inquiry has cost so many so much I really do hope the proper conclusion is reached and given so all this suffering is not in vein. I do think most people will fight for what they believe in and after all that, to be victimized again. I have seen more than enough to convince me of a MASSIVE COVER-UP. The problem will be the people who have advanced their lives and bank accounts from the suffering of victims. The highest hurdle to overcome is that the opportunists that took advantage of the lack of consequences for illegal actins that they helped create. I for one would not be proud of how far I'd come, if it was only because I used the pain and suffering of a victim, who's lives I have destroyed. I could not spend one dollar if it came from the suffering of children. Actions are what makes us who we are and I may not have a lot but I can proudly say nothing I have, came from the suffering of others. The only one you really must live with is yourself! Can you imagine trying to do that if you had nothing to be proud of? How many material things would you trade to cleanse your soul? I would trade everything but bad news for all those perpetrators, the world doesn't work like that. All of the evil one does, follows you for the rest of your life. For those who believe, read your bible, God loves all of us but I sure wouldn't want to pass from this life having God mad at me, for God, justice "IS JUSTICE". So to you people that have ruined so many lives, and you know who you are, even if this Inquiry doesn't get you, there is NO WAY TO ESCAPE THE INEVITABLE! Also remember there are lots of lawyers where your going, but I don't think they can help you. There you stand alone and the big guy knows the TRUTH!

By:Jim

Saturday, October 25, 2008

New deadlines set by province! "Cornwall Public Inquiry"

Local News
Home news Local News Inquiry will wrap by January: Glaude
Inquiry will wrap by January: Glaude
Commissioner reveals new deadlines set by province
Updated 1 day ago


The final witness will leave the stand at the Cornwall Public Inquiry by January 30, 2009, commissioner Normand Glaude announced this morning.

Glaude said the inquiry's recently amended order-in-council now requires his final report to be delivered no later than July 31 of next year.

"A commissioner is subject to the directions of lawful authorities. Cabinet has directed this inquiry in terms of the timing of the end of testimony, timing of submissions, and timing of the report," said Glaude.

"I intend to do everything I can to meet the timelines established."

Since testimony began in February 2006, the long-running probe into how institutions responded to allegations of historical abuse has heard from 146 witnesses, including victims, police officers, church officials, probation officers, and social workers.

The inquiry has yet to hear from the local school boards, the Ontario Provincial Police and the Ministry of the Attorney General.

The OPP's four-year Project Truth investigation into allegations that a pedophile ring existed in Cornwall was one of the key factors that sparked the inquiry.

"This turns our main focus this winter to the consideration of submissions and the writing of the report of the inquiry," said Glaude.

Counselling support under the inquiry's Phase 2 mandate will still continue until 90 days after the release of Glaude's report.

More to come.

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Article ID# 1261719




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i believe this inquirey was answered way before it started.just had to make it look good.
Reply | Report | Page Top Post #1 By luckyred, 1 day ago | -1 Votes | Vote: I don't know what the worry is or why the sudden rush.
The Final Report for the Cornwall Publiy Inquiry was written a long time ago. The Fix was in in 2005 with the appointment of a judge with Cornwall connections and a faulty mandate for an Inquiry.
In case anyone missed it - here are the results :
1. There is and never was a paediphile ring operating in Cornwall or surrounding area
2. There is now and never was a cover-up
3. People didn't understand what child sexual abuse was during the 60's, 70's and 80's
4. People did not know that men did sexually abuse children
5. Lack of funding, lack of staff, lack of training, lack of resources contributed to the problems
6. Mistakes were made, some incompetence, some negligence but nothing of any merit to deal with the real issues.
7. No policies, practices and procedures were in place to tell people what to do or how to do it but things are evolving and they`ve come a long way since the 60's, 70's and 80's
8. Perry Dunlop was a rogue cop who didn`t co-operate and caused a big mess by spreading false rumors
9. Witnesses lied to and strung Dunlop and others along - then they recanted all their stories at the Inquiry.
10. Reputations of countless honourable citizens have been sullied by rumour and induendo.
THERE YOU HAVE IT - THE FINAL REPORT OF THE CORNWALL PUBLIC INQUIRY - WRITTEN IN APRIL 2005.
Reply | Report | Page Top Post #2 By RealityChecker , 1 day ago | 0 Votes | Vote: To Validate your report you need a seconder (r.c)
Reply | Report | Page Top Post #3 By 2 sides 2 a story, 22 hours ago | 0 Votes | Vote: Reality Checker, where can we get an official copy of this report?

Fast track proceedings will hurt the victims!

Local News
Home news Local News Likewise says Jamie Marsolais, an abuse victim
Likewise says Jamie Marsolais, an abuse victim
Posted By
Posted 20 hours ago


Standard-Freeholder CORNWALL

One of the sexual abuse victims who testified at the Cornwall Public Inquiry says the province's decision to fast track proceedings has come out of nowhere and will only serve to hurt Phase 2 healing for victims.

The Ministry of the Attorney General's Office, in collaboration with Inquiry Commissioner Norman Glaude, has set Jan. 30, 2009 as the last day for testimony.

"You don't change ways when you're in the home stretch," said Jamie Marsolais, who was sexually abused by two men when he was a young boy in the early 1980s.

"It's nice to have a final date, but now you have a rushed date," he added.

Marsolais and other inquiry players are questioning the timing of the decision by the ministry.

Institutions such as the Cornwall Community Police Service underwent questioning for months, but the ministry itself, seen by many as a key component to finding answers, will be dealt with at a much quicker pace.

"This gives ammunition to the conspiracy theorists," said Marsolais, who last testified at the inquiry in October of 2007. "This comes right before the two main witnesses are scheduled to testify. I'm not saying this was the (province's) intention, but it adds fuel to the fire. Why start trying to be efficient now? The timing is just wrong."

While Attorney General Chris Bentley says he's simply eager to get the inquiry's recommendations to the people of Ontario as quickly as possible, he wouldn't say why the decision was made now.

He did note, however, that the inquiry will hit the three-year mark in February.

"I'm confident there will be enough time for the important information to come out," Bentley said of the remaining witnesses. "We want to move on the recommendations provided."

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There are some 20 to 30 witnesses left to testify, including institutions such as the OPP and local school boards.

Bentley disagreed with Marsolais' view that pieces of the inquiry puzzle will remain unsolved with the new timeline.

Marsolais said this latest development is likely to further divide the community, especially those involved in Phase 2 inquiry projects.

"True healing is not going to happen now because someone wasn't thinking straight," Marsolais said of the ministry. "This could be the final nail in the coffin when it comes to Phase 2 healing and reconciliation."

Glaude announced yesterday that some Phase 2 activities may be affected by the new timeline, but Marsolais said he's confident that his own youth shelter project will not be one of them. His proposal is due Dec. 31.

Marsolais said he's tried to be optimistic about the inquiry's progress, but finds it hard after hearing about decisions such as this one.

Marsolais was sexually abused by James Lewis, a city man, and Richard Hickerson, a Manpower Canada employee who has since passed away.

Friday, October 24, 2008

CORNWALL PUBLIC INQUIRY "Please read the comments"

Local News
Home News Local News Suspension not considered: O'Brien
Suspension not considered: O'Brien
CORNWALL PUBLIC INQUIRY
Posted By TREVOR PRITCHARD, STANDARD-FREEHOLDER
Posted 18 hours ago


The former executive director of the Children's Aid Society never considered suspending an employee accused of physically and sexually abusing children at a group home in the 1970s, the Cornwall Public Inquiry heard Wednesday.

Thomas O'Brien testified that he let Bryan Keough continue to oversee foster homes while Cornwall police investigated the allegations of former CAS ward Jeannette Antoine because he didn't feel there was a chance that other children were at risk.

"He would have no way of disciplining those children. That would have been the responsibility of the foster parents, not Mr. Keough," said O'Brien, who ran the local CAS branch from 1966 until 1990.

The inquiry is exploring how institutions like the CAS handled allegations of historical sexual abuse.

In 1976, staff at the agency's Second Street group home all resigned after some of the children staying there brought forward allegations of demeaning physical abuse to the CAS.

Keough was not a permanent employee at the home. However, O'Brien told the inquiry Wednesday he would often help out there because he was friends with Derry Tenger, the home's director.

"Mr. Keough and Mr. Tenger had the same attitude about physical punishment," said O'Brien. "They were much more rigid than I was (about) how you could properly discipline a child."

Thirteen years later, in August 1989, the group home allegations again ended up on the CAS's radar.

That summer, Antoine told agency caseworkers about the widespread physical and sexual abuse she saw while she was at the home. When she testified at the inquiry in 2006, Antoine singled out Keough as one of the main perpetrators of the abuse, which included forcing teenage girls to scrub floors wearing only their underwear.

O'Brien spoke once with Antoine about her accusations in August 1989.

According to his notes, Antoine was "specific about her dislike for Bryan Keough" during the phone call, and wondered why the CAS would still be employing Keough "after the way he had treated the children."

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O'Brien told commission counsel Pierre Dumais that he wanted to speak again with Antoine, to get more information, but never succeeded in reaching her.

While he informed both Cornwall police and the Crown attorney's office of the allegations, O'Brien said he never suspended or disciplined Keough.

"I know that I was in a quandary as to what the law would say," said O'Brien. "And that's why I involved myself with the Crown attorney and the deputy chief of police."

When pressed, O'Brien admitted that had the allegations been made against a non-CAS employee, the agency "probably" would have probed deeper.

Inquiry commissioner Normand Glaude wanted to know why that didn't happen.

"There was a lot of uncertainty," said O'Brien. "I'm not excusing my actions.

"I wasn't sure what to do."

Police investigated Antoine's allegations twice, but never laid any charges.

Keough denied assaulting children at the group home when he took the stand earlier this month.

Under cross-examination, O'Brien told Citizens for Community Renewal lawyer Helen Daley that although he did not agree with the use of corporal punishment in foster homes or by CAS workers, the agency had no written policy forbidding it.

O'Brien told Daley while it was possible Antoine's allegations of physical punishment at Keough's hands were true, he had trouble believing the alleged sexual abuse.

Prior to yesterday's hearing, there had been concerns from lawyers that O'Brien - who testified Wednesday while hooked up to an oxygen machine - would be too ill to complete his cross-examination.

Those fears seemed to abate yesterday after O'Brien, in his mid-70s, spent almost the entire day on the stand, appearing eager to wrap up his testimony as quickly as possible.

O'Brien is scheduled to continue testifying when the inquiry resumes this morning.

Article ID# 1260409




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I guarantee you if it had been reported that I or any other member of the public had been reported to have been abusing children that they would have investigated us but no not this guy because he is a member of the staff of the group home so essentially an employee of the CAS. These people have way too much power and no one watches them to see if they are doing what is right for the children.
Reply | Report | Page Top Post #1 By dodger, 18 hours ago | -1 Votes | Vote: Dodger

I beleive that at the time most of this abuse took place nobbody would have been investigated to any great extent.

Reply | Report | Page Top Post #2 By itinerant, 17 hours ago | 0 Votes | Vote: People, there is a great difference between being 'accused/alleged' to have physically and/or sexually abusing - then being 'found guilty of'. I agree that the whole issue was treated differently back in the 70's & 80's > my goodness, parents were still using corporal punishment, schools were still strapping children on the hand if they misbehaved.... but
society as a whole has come a long way from that - no longer are we adhering to the use of physical punishment with children because we have learned as a culture that it can cause permanent damage to a child's self esteem, identity, and ability to grow into strong and independent adults....
Dodger, get a grip in regards to CAS people having way to much power and no one watches them to see if they are doing what is right for the children. This statement is simply not based on the reality of the past many years - maybe, just maybe, in the earlier days workers were ill-eguipped to deal properly with the multitude of child protection concerns that they were faced with every day, and maybe, just maybe, some unqualified folk took their personal views of punishment over the edge towards harming a child (inexcuseable to me), but the CAS system simply DOES NOT allow for this to occur any more. Workers are heavily screened before employment, workers are educated in social work practice, workers are supervised, and supervisors are supervised.... child abuse of any nature is taken very seriously, and no matter who the 'alleged perp' is - all possible steps are taken to protect the child from harm.
Dodger, don't you think that it might be time for you to come forward and being the healing process - become part of the solution - rather than staying stuck in your anger and pain? Negative forces hinder the healing you know.

Reply | Report | Page Top Post #3 By looking at the larger picture, 17 hours ago | 1 Votes | Vote: Come forward for what to become a target of these people with the power. THey use their power and do abuse it I know from experience. Yes I am angry but i do realize that power without any boundaries leads to abuse of power. And my experience is from in the last 10 years not from the 1970's or 1980's. If a worker takes a dislike to a particular person they can make their life hell with or without proof. Simply by them keeping notes that they wrote does not make their accusations the truth. I can write false notes that doesn't make my notes the truth. Oh yes one thing I have learned is that it depends on who is accused if it is one of their friends not much action is taken. Do I want to expose myself to further abuse by coming forward no thank you very much.
Reply | Report | Page Top Post #4 By dodger, 16 hours ago | -1 Votes | Vote: I do know that there are some very professional people that work for the CAS and yes some very reasonable people also but the ones that abuse their power take so long to be removed that the damage is allready done they ruin families virtually tear them to pieces simply because of a conflict of personalities. If I say anything more i will expose myself if i am too specific me I don't have the strength to fight them again. Spent ten's of thousands of dollars doing it yes we were exonerated but it took so long and a judge made the decision thank god the judge was a level headed person.
Reply | Report | Page Top Post #5 By dodger, 15 hours ago | 0 Votes | Vote: well written "looking ta the big picture"

You are very right! It was done but now we have to get over it, sitting and holding ire is a bad way to live
Reply | Report | Page Top Post #6 By itinerant, 15 hours ago | 0 Votes | Vote: I will never ever trust any worker from the CAS what they say and what they do it two different things. I am over it just stating my point of view on this stuff. Oh yes one of the requirements of becoming a CAS worker should be that they have some child raising experience of their own not just text book reading about how children should be raised. Many of the workers have never raised a child of their own so how would they know how to handle a particular problem with a child.
Reply | Report | Page Top Post #7 By dodger, 14 hours ago | 0 Votes | Vote: oh Dodger,
CAS workers are hired to be Social Workers with an educational background in child development, and much more. It is not a requirement for employment that they have direct parenting experience. Further, while direct parenting experience can be a benefit - it does not give any worker an inner working knowledge of how others should parent - these are their personal views. All workers are required to follow the standards that are set forth by the Ministry of Child & Family Services Act. Therefore, what they would have to evaluate should they enter any ones home, has to be based on what the Ministry standards are - not their own personal views of parenting.
The CAS trains their workers in this practice. CAS also offers any one that feels that a 'personality conflict' is possibly causing an unjust or unrealistic view of the family's situation - the opportunity to a formal complaint procedure. Even an in formal complaint and a request for a supervisor to review the situation is afforded in every situation - if needed. think about this.....
Also Dodger, I am not suggesting that you 'expose' yourself; that is not needed in order for you to heal from past negative experiences. But I am asking you to consider how your negative, often point blank, opinions herein affect others in our community. If you look at that part, inside of yourself, you might realize that you are giving a lot of wasted energy to your anger and resentment - rather than trying to be at peace with your life and the lives of others that surround you. let go....
Reply | Report | Page Top Post #8 By looking at the larger picture, 13 hours ago | 1 Votes | Vote: Whoever you are you obviously have info on the inner workings of the CAS and I did complain but the worker was protected. And until you have been in my shoes you have no right to tell me to do with my life. I feel like you are a worker also because you just talked down to me like i was a child. I appreciate you want me to heal but I don't want healing I want my family back together that will heal me. Easy for someone else to sit and judge another person when they have not been through their lives nor experienced their pain. Have you ever lost a family member but that member is not dead. Not able to see that member unless someone else is watching your every move like a criminal yet no criminal charges have been laid. All across ontario this same stuff is happening to other families. Well I have to stop talking because it does no good. You go on and heal yourself I will deal with my own problems yes problems that were not caused by me.
Reply | Report | Page Top Post #9 By dodger, 5 hours ago | 0 Votes | Vote: look at this larger picture heal yourself not me
Reply | Report | Page Top Post #10 By dodger, 4 hours ago | 0 Votes | Vote:
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CORNWALL PUBLIC INQUIRY "Please read the comments"

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Home News Local News Suspension not considered: O'Brien
Suspension not considered: O'Brien
CORNWALL PUBLIC INQUIRY
Posted By TREVOR PRITCHARD, STANDARD-FREEHOLDER
Posted 18 hours ago


The former executive director of the Children's Aid Society never considered suspending an employee accused of physically and sexually abusing children at a group home in the 1970s, the Cornwall Public Inquiry heard Wednesday.

Thomas O'Brien testified that he let Bryan Keough continue to oversee foster homes while Cornwall police investigated the allegations of former CAS ward Jeannette Antoine because he didn't feel there was a chance that other children were at risk.

"He would have no way of disciplining those children. That would have been the responsibility of the foster parents, not Mr. Keough," said O'Brien, who ran the local CAS branch from 1966 until 1990.

The inquiry is exploring how institutions like the CAS handled allegations of historical sexual abuse.

In 1976, staff at the agency's Second Street group home all resigned after some of the children staying there brought forward allegations of demeaning physical abuse to the CAS.

Keough was not a permanent employee at the home. However, O'Brien told the inquiry Wednesday he would often help out there because he was friends with Derry Tenger, the home's director.

"Mr. Keough and Mr. Tenger had the same attitude about physical punishment," said O'Brien. "They were much more rigid than I was (about) how you could properly discipline a child."

Thirteen years later, in August 1989, the group home allegations again ended up on the CAS's radar.

That summer, Antoine told agency caseworkers about the widespread physical and sexual abuse she saw while she was at the home. When she testified at the inquiry in 2006, Antoine singled out Keough as one of the main perpetrators of the abuse, which included forcing teenage girls to scrub floors wearing only their underwear.

O'Brien spoke once with Antoine about her accusations in August 1989.

According to his notes, Antoine was "specific about her dislike for Bryan Keough" during the phone call, and wondered why the CAS would still be employing Keough "after the way he had treated the children."

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O'Brien told commission counsel Pierre Dumais that he wanted to speak again with Antoine, to get more information, but never succeeded in reaching her.

While he informed both Cornwall police and the Crown attorney's office of the allegations, O'Brien said he never suspended or disciplined Keough.

"I know that I was in a quandary as to what the law would say," said O'Brien. "And that's why I involved myself with the Crown attorney and the deputy chief of police."

When pressed, O'Brien admitted that had the allegations been made against a non-CAS employee, the agency "probably" would have probed deeper.

Inquiry commissioner Normand Glaude wanted to know why that didn't happen.

"There was a lot of uncertainty," said O'Brien. "I'm not excusing my actions.

"I wasn't sure what to do."

Police investigated Antoine's allegations twice, but never laid any charges.

Keough denied assaulting children at the group home when he took the stand earlier this month.

Under cross-examination, O'Brien told Citizens for Community Renewal lawyer Helen Daley that although he did not agree with the use of corporal punishment in foster homes or by CAS workers, the agency had no written policy forbidding it.

O'Brien told Daley while it was possible Antoine's allegations of physical punishment at Keough's hands were true, he had trouble believing the alleged sexual abuse.

Prior to yesterday's hearing, there had been concerns from lawyers that O'Brien - who testified Wednesday while hooked up to an oxygen machine - would be too ill to complete his cross-examination.

Those fears seemed to abate yesterday after O'Brien, in his mid-70s, spent almost the entire day on the stand, appearing eager to wrap up his testimony as quickly as possible.

O'Brien is scheduled to continue testifying when the inquiry resumes this morning.

Article ID# 1260409




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I guarantee you if it had been reported that I or any other member of the public had been reported to have been abusing children that they would have investigated us but no not this guy because he is a member of the staff of the group home so essentially an employee of the CAS. These people have way too much power and no one watches them to see if they are doing what is right for the children.
Reply | Report | Page Top Post #1 By dodger, 18 hours ago | -1 Votes | Vote: Dodger

I beleive that at the time most of this abuse took place nobbody would have been investigated to any great extent.

Reply | Report | Page Top Post #2 By itinerant, 17 hours ago | 0 Votes | Vote: People, there is a great difference between being 'accused/alleged' to have physically and/or sexually abusing - then being 'found guilty of'. I agree that the whole issue was treated differently back in the 70's & 80's > my goodness, parents were still using corporal punishment, schools were still strapping children on the hand if they misbehaved.... but
society as a whole has come a long way from that - no longer are we adhering to the use of physical punishment with children because we have learned as a culture that it can cause permanent damage to a child's self esteem, identity, and ability to grow into strong and independent adults....
Dodger, get a grip in regards to CAS people having way to much power and no one watches them to see if they are doing what is right for the children. This statement is simply not based on the reality of the past many years - maybe, just maybe, in the earlier days workers were ill-eguipped to deal properly with the multitude of child protection concerns that they were faced with every day, and maybe, just maybe, some unqualified folk took their personal views of punishment over the edge towards harming a child (inexcuseable to me), but the CAS system simply DOES NOT allow for this to occur any more. Workers are heavily screened before employment, workers are educated in social work practice, workers are supervised, and supervisors are supervised.... child abuse of any nature is taken very seriously, and no matter who the 'alleged perp' is - all possible steps are taken to protect the child from harm.
Dodger, don't you think that it might be time for you to come forward and being the healing process - become part of the solution - rather than staying stuck in your anger and pain? Negative forces hinder the healing you know.

Reply | Report | Page Top Post #3 By looking at the larger picture, 17 hours ago | 1 Votes | Vote: Come forward for what to become a target of these people with the power. THey use their power and do abuse it I know from experience. Yes I am angry but i do realize that power without any boundaries leads to abuse of power. And my experience is from in the last 10 years not from the 1970's or 1980's. If a worker takes a dislike to a particular person they can make their life hell with or without proof. Simply by them keeping notes that they wrote does not make their accusations the truth. I can write false notes that doesn't make my notes the truth. Oh yes one thing I have learned is that it depends on who is accused if it is one of their friends not much action is taken. Do I want to expose myself to further abuse by coming forward no thank you very much.
Reply | Report | Page Top Post #4 By dodger, 16 hours ago | -1 Votes | Vote: I do know that there are some very professional people that work for the CAS and yes some very reasonable people also but the ones that abuse their power take so long to be removed that the damage is allready done they ruin families virtually tear them to pieces simply because of a conflict of personalities. If I say anything more i will expose myself if i am too specific me I don't have the strength to fight them again. Spent ten's of thousands of dollars doing it yes we were exonerated but it took so long and a judge made the decision thank god the judge was a level headed person.
Reply | Report | Page Top Post #5 By dodger, 15 hours ago | 0 Votes | Vote: well written "looking ta the big picture"

You are very right! It was done but now we have to get over it, sitting and holding ire is a bad way to live
Reply | Report | Page Top Post #6 By itinerant, 15 hours ago | 0 Votes | Vote: I will never ever trust any worker from the CAS what they say and what they do it two different things. I am over it just stating my point of view on this stuff. Oh yes one of the requirements of becoming a CAS worker should be that they have some child raising experience of their own not just text book reading about how children should be raised. Many of the workers have never raised a child of their own so how would they know how to handle a particular problem with a child.
Reply | Report | Page Top Post #7 By dodger, 14 hours ago | 0 Votes | Vote: oh Dodger,
CAS workers are hired to be Social Workers with an educational background in child development, and much more. It is not a requirement for employment that they have direct parenting experience. Further, while direct parenting experience can be a benefit - it does not give any worker an inner working knowledge of how others should parent - these are their personal views. All workers are required to follow the standards that are set forth by the Ministry of Child & Family Services Act. Therefore, what they would have to evaluate should they enter any ones home, has to be based on what the Ministry standards are - not their own personal views of parenting.
The CAS trains their workers in this practice. CAS also offers any one that feels that a 'personality conflict' is possibly causing an unjust or unrealistic view of the family's situation - the opportunity to a formal complaint procedure. Even an in formal complaint and a request for a supervisor to review the situation is afforded in every situation - if needed. think about this.....
Also Dodger, I am not suggesting that you 'expose' yourself; that is not needed in order for you to heal from past negative experiences. But I am asking you to consider how your negative, often point blank, opinions herein affect others in our community. If you look at that part, inside of yourself, you might realize that you are giving a lot of wasted energy to your anger and resentment - rather than trying to be at peace with your life and the lives of others that surround you. let go....
Reply | Report | Page Top Post #8 By looking at the larger picture, 13 hours ago | 1 Votes | Vote: Whoever you are you obviously have info on the inner workings of the CAS and I did complain but the worker was protected. And until you have been in my shoes you have no right to tell me to do with my life. I feel like you are a worker also because you just talked down to me like i was a child. I appreciate you want me to heal but I don't want healing I want my family back together that will heal me. Easy for someone else to sit and judge another person when they have not been through their lives nor experienced their pain. Have you ever lost a family member but that member is not dead. Not able to see that member unless someone else is watching your every move like a criminal yet no criminal charges have been laid. All across ontario this same stuff is happening to other families. Well I have to stop talking because it does no good. You go on and heal yourself I will deal with my own problems yes problems that were not caused by me.
Reply | Report | Page Top Post #9 By dodger, 5 hours ago | 0 Votes | Vote: look at this larger picture heal yourself not me
Reply | Report | Page Top Post #10 By dodger, 4 hours ago | 0 Votes | Vote:
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Thursday, October 23, 2008

I am so SICK about what is going on!

I am so frustrated with this whole Inquiry!!! I wish people could understand what I have went through in this town of CORNWALL!!! These perpetrators get away with everything and no one in Cornwall has done anything about it!! OHHHHH there was one person I really must not forget and that is "PERRY DUNLOP " he was then "ONE"that brought it to the public,and what happened to him? "JAIL" they say it's OK to send this honourable man to jail, but NOT the PERPETRATORS!! There is something seriously wrong here! Just a couple of days ago, I was in court because a friend had a ticket and when I was in there, there was a man that was getting his charges read to him, one was not being around Macdonalds, school yards, and others, can you guess?? IT was a child molester!!! He walked right past me, opened the doors and there he was off, walking right outside!!! Can you believe that?? I don't know what to do anymore??? No one is listening, I have had this petition going on for a while now and so far there is 164 signatures, WHY ARE PEOPLE NOT WANTING TO SIGN THIS PETITION?? WHY ARE THEY QUESTIONING THIS PETITION?? I believe it's either they don't want their names on it in case they get noticed by these BULLIES of Cornwall, or they don't believe that historical sexual abuse was not important, maybe in their eyes they see it as it's already happened, what does it matter that I sign now!! PLEASE, IT DOES MATTER, MY PAIN FROM CORNWALL HAPPENS EVERYDAY AS WELL AS OTHER VICTIMS OF SEXUAL ABUSE. Signing this petition is letting me know that YOU are going to report the abuse to the RIGHT authorities and that is to the premier. Someone has to hear us, "let it be you"

'Justice system just isn't working'

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Home News Local News 'Justice system just isn't working': prosecutor
'Justice system just isn't working': prosecutor
Large majorityof perpetratorsmale, says reportMajority of child sex abuse cases don't make it to sentencing
Posted By MEGAN HARRISON, STANDARD-FREEHOLDER
Posted 1 hour ago


The number of child sexual abuse offenders convicted and brought to sentencing in Canada should be seen as a "national disgrace," says a former Alberta prosecutor and sentencing expert.

Scott Newark, an outspoken advocate for justice system reform in Canada, spoke during a workshop for Phase Two of the Cornwall Public Inquiry last night, commenting on a report on trends in sentencing for child sex abusers in the country. The 250-page Talk About Sentencing report, commissioned by the Inquiry and written by two University of Ottawa PhD law students, was presented earlier in the evening.

One of the findings of the report was that of all the child sexual abuse cases reported in Canada, only two to five per cent make it to sentencing.

"Perhaps we shouldn't be looking at the trends in sentencing, but the reasons behind why so many of these cases aren't even making it through to that point," Newark told the crowd of about 50 people at the Ramada Inn and Conference Centre last night.

Newark also had vocal opinions on the finding that though children make up only 21 per cent of the population, they constitute a whopping 61 per cent of sexual abuse cases.

"Maybe it's just me, but I think this is a loud, clear, clarion call that kids need special protection, and that maybe our justice system just isn't working," he said.

Also on hand to comment on the report was Ellen Campbell of the Canadian Centre for Abuse Awareness. A child sexual abuse survivor herself, Campbell used to opportunity to call for increased minimum sentencing, greater use of electronic monitoring bracelets, and harsher penalties for those who violated the conditions of parole.

"I made the mistake of reading this report before I went to bed last night," she said. "I was so mad . . . and it just shows how far we still have to go on this issue."

Other highlights of the report, which looked at the sentences passed in hundreds of cases from Ontario, Alberta and Quebec over the past 40 years, included that the overwhelming majority of perpetrators were male, and that 36 per cent of cases in Ontario involved a person who was in a position of trust.

Surprisingly, offenders in a position of trust over the victim, which include teachers, doctors, priests and even babysitters, generally received lesser sentences than those who did not know or had never met their abuser.

"The fact that sentences aren't as harsh when there is a breach of trust really bothers me," said Campbell as she reviewed the report's findings. "I hope that someone delves more deeply into that, because I just don't understand why it would be less."

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Other conclusions in relation to sentencing included that most offenders in all three provinces received a mixture of jail time and probation, with the harshest sentences coming from Alberta. Both Ontario and Alberta are seeing a downward trend in the amount of jail time awarded to child sex abuse offenders, whereas in Quebec, the length of sentences is rising.

Finally, the length of jail sentences for historical sex abuse cases is on average higher in Ontario than the penalties awarded in more recent cases. The reverse was true for both Alberta and Quebec.

Article ID# 1260413




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Well we had to have a report to tell us that, any person on the street could have written this report. I f you are from Cornwall the reason here was that those who were guility in most cases where people in trust and well known and it is my report that our justice system chose to believe the offender than the victim. All you have to do is listen to this inquiry to figure that out and the outright lies by the by the offenders and the doubts of those who heard the victims stories, thinking no way this could happen. God bless all these victims who have had there lives ruined by these animals.
Reply | Report | Page Top Post #1 By what justice, 1 hour ago | 0 Votes | Vote:
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Wednesday, October 22, 2008

David Silmser at first said the abuse happened, then later said it didn't!

To me, this is so believable! I believe David Silmser DID tell the truth and when at the end when he had to testify I believe that David was threatened to lie "to say that it didn't happen"! Perry and Helen Dunlop believed his story to the end, I strongly believe that it did happen! It is truly disgusting what lengths the perpetrators will go through to threaten people. I being one of them, I was threatened and so was my husband and children and know one did anything about it, even after I reported it! Now this story below that was written from the Standard Freeholder, Greg Bell a retired CAS worker is telling us that " David Silmser had ALL the hallmarks of someone telling the truth", " what does this tell you?"
Cornwall has tried so hard to keep silent about all the abuse that was happening in this town because it involved MANY "prominent citizens" that were the abusers!There is more that is going to be brought out into the open in this Inquiry and I hope that people within Cornwall and MOSTLY OUTSIDE OF CORNWALL will know the TRUTH and it will come out. That is one thing I have always believed, that at the end "THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE, AND THE TRUTH IS COMING OUT!

Altar boy's story sounds truthful

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Home News Local News Altar boy's story sounds truthful: Bell
Altar boy's story sounds truthful: Bell
CORNWALL PUBLIC INQUIRY
Posted By TREVOR PRITCHARD, STANDARD-FREEHOLDER
Updated 12 hours ago


The sexual abuse allegations levelled against a local priest by David Silmser had all the hallmarks of someone telling the truth, said the retired Children's Aid Society caseworker who interviewed him.

In 1993 and 1994, Greg Bell co-led the agency's Project Blue investigation into allegations that Rev. Charles MacDonald had abused Silmser decades earlier, when he was an altar boy at St. Columban's Church in Cornwall.

"(Silmser's story) was certainly consistent with my experience in disclosures made by adults who had been sexually abused as children," Bell told the Cornwall Public Inquiry Tuesday.

"There was a tenor of anguish about his whole presentation."

Yesterday was Bell's second and final day on the stand at the inquiry, which is probing how institutions like the CAS handled claims of historical sexual abuse.

Bell testified that during their late 1993 interview, Silmser revealed two others had abused him: a probation officer named Ken Seguin, and Marcel Lalonde, a city teacher.

Silmser was unable to describe many details of the alleged abuse, said Bell, and would only say that Lalonde "did the same thing" as the other men.

"My sense of it was it was quite difficult for him to get to that point, to come and speak with us. It was a bit of a struggle to do it," said Bell.

"I got a sense they were painful recollections."

Only one of the three men -Lalonde - was ever convicted of sex crimes involving boys.

MacDonald was charged in 1996, but those charges were stayed six years later when a judge ruled his right to a timely trial had been violated. He has always maintained his innocence.

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Seguin committed suicide in late 1993, around the time of Silmser's interview with the CAS, and was never charged.

That death shook Silmser, said Bell. The Project Blue team tried to convince him to come in for another face-to-face meeting, to gather more information about his abuse claims, but never succeeded.

"He too was aware Ken Seguin had committed suicide and felt, I think, to some degree responsible," said Bell.

"I think he said something to me, at one point, (along the lines) of, 'I don't want another death on my conscience.'"

The CAS also tried -without success - to interview MacDonald, who by that time had been sent to Southdown, a Toronto-area rehabilitation centre for priests, by the Alexandria-Cornwall Roman Catholic Diocese.

Bell said Southdown wouldn't grant MacDonald leave to be interviewed. And the CAS, he said, was under the belief they didn't have permission to speak with the priest at the centre.

The agency did conduct interviews with altar servers at St. Andrew's Parish, the church where MacDonald had last been celebrating mass. They wrapped up Project Blue in February 1994 and came to two conclusions: one, that MacDonald had likely abused Silmser, and two, that no current children were at risk.

Diocese lawyer David Sherriff-Scott wanted to know from Bell why the CAS didn't launch a similar investigation into Lalonde.

"You went out and interviewed all kindsof altarboysatSt. Andrew'sWest. You didn't do anything with respect to pupils at a local school, who were in contact with the teacher every day," he said.

"Is Charles MacDonald (more of a) politically hot potato for you?"

By 1994, the statement Silmser gave to Cornwall police, detailing his allegations against MacDonald, had made it into the media.

Bell said he believed the CAS simply didn't have enough information about Lalonde to warrant that "degree of intrusion."

"It's the kind of judgment call that's difficult to make," he said. "The hope was that we would have more (information from Silmser) and be able to pursue it."

Article ID# 1258107




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Judgement call my butt if a child could be in danger that is reason enough they are there to protect the children from abuse even potential abuse.
Reply | Report | Page Top Post #1 By dodger, 13 hours ago | 0 Votes | Vote: How could anyone ever trust Mr. Lalonde enough to let him get that close? He was a teacher at Bishop Mac Donnell in the mid 70’s. We avoided contact with him like the plague. His demeanor was obvious and we all knew to stay away.

I wonder how he was able to volunteer at the CCVS reunion a few years back at the reunion after being charged

Reply | Report | Page Top Post #2 By itinerant, 10 hours ago | 0 Votes | Vote: Good question.
Reply | Report | Page Top Post #3 By dodger, 5 hours ago | 0 Votes | Vote: His demeanor was obvious and how was that please clarify.
Reply | Report | Page Top Post #4 By dodger, 5 hours ago | 0 Votes | Vote: He was gay
Reply | Report | Page Top Post #5 By itinerant, 5 hours ago | 0 Votes | Vote: Dodger in your Post #1, I agree with you whole heartedly.
Reply | Report | Page Top Post #6 By booga-booga, 3 hours ago | 0 Votes | Vote: thanks itinerant wasn't quite sure what you meant. So basically everyone knew he was gay.

Altar boy's story sounds truthful

Local News
Home News Local News Altar boy's story sounds truthful: Bell
Altar boy's story sounds truthful: Bell
CORNWALL PUBLIC INQUIRY
Posted By TREVOR PRITCHARD, STANDARD-FREEHOLDER
Updated 12 hours ago


The sexual abuse allegations levelled against a local priest by David Silmser had all the hallmarks of someone telling the truth, said the retired Children's Aid Society caseworker who interviewed him.

In 1993 and 1994, Greg Bell co-led the agency's Project Blue investigation into allegations that Rev. Charles MacDonald had abused Silmser decades earlier, when he was an altar boy at St. Columban's Church in Cornwall.

"(Silmser's story) was certainly consistent with my experience in disclosures made by adults who had been sexually abused as children," Bell told the Cornwall Public Inquiry Tuesday.

"There was a tenor of anguish about his whole presentation."

Yesterday was Bell's second and final day on the stand at the inquiry, which is probing how institutions like the CAS handled claims of historical sexual abuse.

Bell testified that during their late 1993 interview, Silmser revealed two others had abused him: a probation officer named Ken Seguin, and Marcel Lalonde, a city teacher.

Silmser was unable to describe many details of the alleged abuse, said Bell, and would only say that Lalonde "did the same thing" as the other men.

"My sense of it was it was quite difficult for him to get to that point, to come and speak with us. It was a bit of a struggle to do it," said Bell.

"I got a sense they were painful recollections."

Only one of the three men -Lalonde - was ever convicted of sex crimes involving boys.

MacDonald was charged in 1996, but those charges were stayed six years later when a judge ruled his right to a timely trial had been violated. He has always maintained his innocence.

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Seguin committed suicide in late 1993, around the time of Silmser's interview with the CAS, and was never charged.

That death shook Silmser, said Bell. The Project Blue team tried to convince him to come in for another face-to-face meeting, to gather more information about his abuse claims, but never succeeded.

"He too was aware Ken Seguin had committed suicide and felt, I think, to some degree responsible," said Bell.

"I think he said something to me, at one point, (along the lines) of, 'I don't want another death on my conscience.'"

The CAS also tried -without success - to interview MacDonald, who by that time had been sent to Southdown, a Toronto-area rehabilitation centre for priests, by the Alexandria-Cornwall Roman Catholic Diocese.

Bell said Southdown wouldn't grant MacDonald leave to be interviewed. And the CAS, he said, was under the belief they didn't have permission to speak with the priest at the centre.

The agency did conduct interviews with altar servers at St. Andrew's Parish, the church where MacDonald had last been celebrating mass. They wrapped up Project Blue in February 1994 and came to two conclusions: one, that MacDonald had likely abused Silmser, and two, that no current children were at risk.

Diocese lawyer David Sherriff-Scott wanted to know from Bell why the CAS didn't launch a similar investigation into Lalonde.

"You went out and interviewed all kindsof altarboysatSt. Andrew'sWest. You didn't do anything with respect to pupils at a local school, who were in contact with the teacher every day," he said.

"Is Charles MacDonald (more of a) politically hot potato for you?"

By 1994, the statement Silmser gave to Cornwall police, detailing his allegations against MacDonald, had made it into the media.

Bell said he believed the CAS simply didn't have enough information about Lalonde to warrant that "degree of intrusion."

"It's the kind of judgment call that's difficult to make," he said. "The hope was that we would have more (information from Silmser) and be able to pursue it."

Article ID# 1258107




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Judgement call my butt if a child could be in danger that is reason enough they are there to protect the children from abuse even potential abuse.
Reply | Report | Page Top Post #1 By dodger, 13 hours ago | 0 Votes | Vote: How could anyone ever trust Mr. Lalonde enough to let him get that close? He was a teacher at Bishop Mac Donnell in the mid 70’s. We avoided contact with him like the plague. His demeanor was obvious and we all knew to stay away.

I wonder how he was able to volunteer at the CCVS reunion a few years back at the reunion after being charged

Reply | Report | Page Top Post #2 By itinerant, 10 hours ago | 0 Votes | Vote: Good question.
Reply | Report | Page Top Post #3 By dodger, 5 hours ago | 0 Votes | Vote: His demeanor was obvious and how was that please clarify.
Reply | Report | Page Top Post #4 By dodger, 5 hours ago | 0 Votes | Vote: He was gay
Reply | Report | Page Top Post #5 By itinerant, 5 hours ago | 0 Votes | Vote: Dodger in your Post #1, I agree with you whole heartedly.
Reply | Report | Page Top Post #6 By booga-booga, 3 hours ago | 0 Votes | Vote: thanks itinerant wasn't quite sure what you meant. So basically everyone knew he was gay.

MORE of Cornwall's Testifying!

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City cop says CAS was ‘stricken’ with cases of alleged abuse -->


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City cop says CAS was ‘stricken’ with cases of alleged abuse
Posted By By Greg Peerenboom
Posted 1 day ago
A city cop’s investigation into a woman’s complaint of sexual abuse eventually led him to discover the Children’s Aid Society was stricken with “systemic” abuse.
Acting Staff Sgt. Shawn White discovered there were other alleged victims when he “re-investigated” an earlier complaint by Jeannette Antoine, a former CAS ward.
White testified at the Cornwall Public Inquiry Monday. The inquiry is examining the institutional response to allegations of sexual abuse.
“Your work takes on a critical mass, that involves not just (former CAS worker Brian) Keogh, but as you investigate into the CAS group home, you come across victims who have additional allegations,” said Helen Daley, counsel for Citizens for Community Renewal.
White agreed.
Possibly the most serious of his cases, when he teamed with an OPP officer, involved an alleged attempt by a mother to coerce her son to kill her own daughter.
Originally, the daughter had been a CAS ward.
White recalled how the mother and son planned to lure the daughter from out of a CAS group home with the aid of friend.
The brother would then stab her with a knife.
Despite this information, no charge of conspiracy to commit murder was ever laid.
Dallas Lee, attorney for The Victims’ Group, wondered why.
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“For you to be charged you had to have an agreement to do the criminal act, of conspiring, not to just go along,” said White, who was calm and rarely faltered during his testimony.
He said the brother changed his plan when he arrived at the group home. Instead of waiting outside the home, the brother was at the doorstep with knife in hand.
His sister quickly became aware of the weapon and fled into the home. “It was not in his heart,” said the city officer, who joined the service in 1987.
During the course of the investigation, White said he consulted with Crown attorney Murray MacDonald and regional Crown attorney Peter Griffiths.
Lee and Daley both questioned why other charges were not laid against CAS workers with respect to separate allegations.
White explained that most of the alleged victims did not wish to pursue the matters in court.
And in cases that involved common assault, a six-month statutory limit had long elapsed from some of these incidents which occurred in the 1970s.
White said he was told at the time by the Crown that it would not pursue common assault charges.
Earlier in the day, White spoke about his re-investigation into Antoine’s complaint.
Under cross-examination White said his probe was meant to be “fresh” and previous work by his colleague, Const. Kevin Malloy, would only be background.
There was a question as to the role of Const. Heidi Sebalj, who accompanied White on his interviews with Antoine.
But other than her presence as a female officer, White said the investigation was his alone.
Sebalj’s place in the city police’s response to historical cases is unclear as she has been excused from providing testimony.
The testimony of Greg Bell, a former CAS caseworker, continues today.
The inquiry hopes to hear from former CAS executive director Thomas O’Brien later this week.
Article ID# 1256903

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Buy a copy of the standard and look at the picture on top of this article look at the man's face he show's nothing but contempt for the people that are questioning him. These people will all cover their own proverbial asses.
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Post #1 By dodger, 1 day ago 0 Votes Vote:

Why are any of us not surprised and why are none of us surprised by the following quote:*****"the Children’s Aid Society was stricken with “systemic” abuse."? I rest my case!!!
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Post #2 By oacas, 18 hours ago 0 Votes Vote:

Amen

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Our Journey!


What does life expect of me

What do I expect from life


If I were to say, "God is LIFE"

then what does he expect "from ME"?

Then what do I expect "from GOD"?


I think God would expect me "to be ME"

I would expect God "to be GOD"

"So if God is LIFE," then I expect, "everything"!


Everything in life that there is, "to explore",

the beauty of laughter, love and more!

Nature, that we surpass each day

Children that run, sing and play!


What does God expect from me

When I feel tired, scared and unhappy.

When depression sets in, and there's no light

When I scream and cry, and I'm tired of the fight


What do I expect from God

The beauty of friendship

The understanding of pain

The hand to hold on to, when there's always rain!


What does God expect from me

When my world makes no sense

When people are cruel, when they harm

When they lie, steal and cheat their friends


What do I expect from God

The strength to except

The courage for the journey

The faith of his love


What do we expect for each other

The journey to the beginning

The never ending light


"We are ONE" the struggles are from, "the outside"

We are "within"

When I speak to him, I also speak to me

My strength is stronger

My courage is stronger

My faith, "is his Love"


"GOD IS LOVE"

"GOD IS LIFE"


I am, "who I am"

I am here, I am where God wants me to be


"You are you" loved and cared for, by the very best

you are where you are suppose to be

your journey maybe long, but you are never "alone":)








Child sexual abuse song Be A Voice with lyrics

This is why YOUR signature is IMPORTANT!

Friday, October 17, 2008

Covering up again! Hidden sexual abuse



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Don't investigate: director
CORNWALL PUBLIC INQUIRY
Posted By TREVOR PRITCHARD, STANDARD-FREEHOLDER
Posted 13 hours ago
The former executive director of the Children's Aid Society twice suggested accusations of sexual abuse leveled against a foster family's son not be investigated by police, the Cornwall Public Inquiry heard Thursday.
Documents entered into evidence during the testimony of retired CAS supervisor Ian MacLean showed that Thomas O'Brien twice told the Crown attorney's office -first in December 1982, and then in April 1983 - that he didn't feel allegations against Brian Lapensee were serious enough to lay charges.
"I did not (share) those opinions," said MacLean, who spent three decades with the local CAS branch before leaving in 2006.
In 1982, teenage girls at the family's group home in Martintown started complaining that Lapensee, then in his early 20s, would grab their breasts while they watched television and played cards.
After interviewing the girls, MacLean and another caseworker compiled a report which concluded that "many if not all, and perhaps more, of these incidents did occur."
Among the agency's recommendations were that Lapensee stay away from the girls at the home.
However, O'Brien -who is scheduled to testify this week -also met with the Crown attorney, where he shared his view that the allegations weren't significant enough to get the police involved.
MacLean told lead commission counsel Peter Engelmann that he and the other caseworker disagreed with their boss and felt Lapensee should have been charged.
"And what did you do to try and see that that happened?" asked Engelmann.
"Well, we reported back to Mr. O'Brien. And that was the practice, apparently, at that time," said MacLean. "We did it this time, and we did it the next time as well."
That "next time" was in the following April, after another foster child in the home, Roberta Archambault, accused Lapensee of groping her and making unwanted sexual comments during an Easter visit.
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After learning of the allegation, O'Brien wrote the Crown attorney's office, saying it wasn't necessary to charge Lapensee because all the girls had been placed in new homes and Lapensee's alleged sexual advances were not "too serious."
The CAS closed the Lapensee home a few months later.
In 2006, Archambault took the stand at the inquiry, which is looking at how institutions like the CAS reacted to allegations of historical sexual abuse. She testified Lapensee began abusing her three months after she arrived at the home in late 1980, and that the abuse included fondling and forced oral sex.
Lapensee has never been convicted of those allegations.
During MacLean's cross-examination, Citizens for Community Renewal lawyer Juda Strawczynski showed MacLean statements he'd given in 1994 to a Cornwall Police Service officer who was investigating an unrelated allegation of abuse at another foster home.
According to the officer's notes, MacLean said the agency's philosophy was still in the "closet stages" in the 1970s, when it came to investigating sexual abuse. CAS wards were considered "troubled individuals" whose allegations were not to be taken at face value, the notes said.
Strawczynski argued that philosophy was still in place in the 1980s when the alleged abuse in the Lapensee home came to light.
"What I'm going to suggest to you here, sir, is that similarly, the institution of the Children's Aid Society wished at this time to keep these things as quiet as possible," he said.
Not true, said MacLean: not only did O'Brien go to the Crown attorney, but he also informed his superiors in the provincial government of the allegations.
"We did go outside of our agency to seek counsel. We did go outside of the agency to report abuse," said MacLean. "I did not see any effort to sweep this under the rug or keep this hidden."
MacLean's cross-examination continues this morning.
Article ID# 1251281

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"According to the officer's notes, MacLean said the agency's philosophy was still in the "closet stages" in the 1970s, when it came to investigating sexual abuse. CAS wards were considered "troubled individuals" whose allegations were not to be taken at face value, the notes said." The philosophy in the 70's was and is no difference than in the 50's and as far as I'm concerned, are still treated that way but the only difference being it's now 2008. If the wards weren't "troubled individuals" by the time they got into the CAS or CCAS's, I would allege that between the Societies and certain foster homes the wards were driven to being "troubled individuals" at the mercy of certain elements who really could care less one way or the other. Progress, eh? Try telling that to those kids who got screwed around by these certain elements or better yet, go to the gravesites of ALL of the kids who have been killed while in the suppossed care of these elements. Or does anybody give a rat's rectum?
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Post #1 By nodegamra, 5 hours ago 0 Votes Vote:

"CAS wards were considered "troubled individuals" whose allegations were not to be taken at face value", Well aparently their word was good enough to get them into cas care in the 1st place, torn from their families but once something was reported from inside Cas by the children..well the children were lying then supposenly. I've seen it 1st hand and have actual documents in a workers own words when a child tried to report something to a worker that was done to them in cas care the worker called the child a lier and put that right in their notes. Shameful!
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Post #2 By FreetheChildren, 1 hour ago 0 Votes Vote:

You hit the nail right on the head FreetheChildren a childs word is enough to get the child away from the family but not good enough to report something wrong in a foster home. These people have no accountability to anyone and only a judge can make a decision that can counter what the CAS decides. I speak from experience I have my grandchild in my custody and had to fight the CAS to get that child in my care. After spending close to 16 thousand dollars on lawyers fees a judge finally awarded us custody of our grandchild. The CAS has endless funding for their lawyers us the people fighting them either have to put up our homes or other collateral to get the funding to afford the lawyer to get the child into our custody. Do I trust any CAS worker at all yes maybe one or two because they are honestly doing their jobs and for the right reasons not just for the money.
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Post #3 By dodger, 1 min ago 0 Votes Vote:

Discuss this Article

Jim and my relationship "falling apart"


Jim and I had a fall out this morning, the strain of our relationship has been to much. I could say that my biological family would be happy to know this. They have tried everything in the book to separate us and I think they have succeeded. For what I have been through in the past and what is happening to me now...I don't think it will ever be possible to have a healthy relationship with Jim. The wounds of my emotional and physical I don't believe can ever be healed. It is to hard to live each day with a male person in the house, it's not that I don't love Jim, it's just ....the inner ones that mistrust, afraid to love, feeling abandon, feeling the body used and unworthy, to sensitive, to protective, to vulnerable, to fragile, feeling to much guilt ( blaming myself for what Jim is always going through ) the strain of our relationship is baring us down, making us unable to grow in a healthy direction. I don't know what is going to happen now....I know I can't live with Jim anymore, again I am feeling like I am letting him down, letting our family down. The perpetrators in Cornwall have sure done their homework, yet I can't see any justice ever happening. This is why I had started this petition, in hopes that people outside of Cornwall could see what was going on....how these perpetrators were continuing to get the protection from the people that were suppose to protect us. I hoped that by signing the petition I could give it to the Premier in hopes he could see what was going on and demand the Inquiry be held outside of Cornwall, with a different Commissioner, someone who didn't have ties to Cornwall. I don't know how I can get these signatures and I have been trying hard, I do thank the ones who have left their signatures " to me that's like saying they, "reported the abuse and want something done about it".

Here I am talking about the Inquiry and signatures when my husband is now had it and so have I. Our relationship is exhausted and I don't think there can be any healing there to save it. I know I need to continue to see how far the signatures can go and if I can make a difference to help the children of Cornwall and the adult survivors. As for what is going to happen to Jim and I, it doesn't look good. I can only say that God knows what is in the plans for my life and I have to trust in him that he knows what he is doing. I ask for strength and courage to continue to do what I have to do....if this is Jim's letting go to a different path...then I must accept that and follow my path....

I have to mention that this is another thing that my perpetrators have taken from me, a chance to have love or be loved, a chance to feel like a women, a chance to be whole, a chance to work in this world and contribute to society, a chance to feel freedom, a chance to be who I could have been....today was and is not a good day....yet when my daughter comes back from school, I need to smile, I need to let her know I am alright when it's not. But I was always taught to put a face on for people when I wasn't or didn't feel like smiling, my mother taught me that, " smile Brigette, we have company coming over, wipe those tears from your eyes, why are you always crying, your such a baby," then she would say, " you would make a great actress". Maybe my mother didn't realize I had no choice but cry when I was getting sexually abused every day.


I will say one thing, my daughter is very bright and she knows when I am putting on a face, she is sensitive to other peoples feelings, she does tell me when she knows something is wrong " and we talk about it" but I want to get healthy and enjoy the times when she is singing or playing with the dog or reading to me or wants me to just talk with her, "she tells me when she needs me, most of the time I hear her and try to" She and all the other children of the world NEED us and NEED the love THEY deserve. They were not asked to be brought into this world to be ignored, unloved, abused. We are responsible for them, to raise them with love and show them they are worth to be here and are very important to our future! It was OUR choice to bring them here and its OUR responsibility to take good care of them!


I am tired now.....it's been a very long day...until we talk again, have a good night.


Your Friend,

Brigette

Jim's final thought

Everything I've written on here I hoped would help in some way and I'm afraid that's not possible anymore. Trying to deal with all this pain in Brigette's past has opened wounds that had to be drained and bandaged back up. I was hoping I could help her with all the pain but it appears I'm just not a qualified doctor. It seems I can't open her up, help clear out the infection of almost 40 years and patch it back up before some fester. I've been successful with some but our relationship gets in the way of me being objective enough to help without the fallout of my emotions entering the open wounds. I helped rid her of the negative input generated by her "LOVING" family who whittled away at her until they left a scared child and I helped her regain her sense of self worth and regain also belief in herself. Deeper then the emotional scars are the physical scars, the ones that require that touch I just don't possess. Brigette is the best person I know, experiencing the pains of trying to heal yet spreading herself so thin ,trying to touch and educate the untouchables. No one learns if they don't want to and nobody changes if they are content with the way things are. I believe she has done a great job reaching out to the ones that wish to be reached or helped. But the ones she's trying to convince to change there ways remain unreachable. I believe they will remain this way and even if found at fault will still be pointing their fingers at everyone but themselves.
When this Inquiry first started I thought finally somewhere out there someone cares. Boy, was I naive. From the beginning this was all set up, giving power to people that have shown us absolute power corrupts absolutely, held in the small town all these crimes were committed. These people don't even have to change the area code to pull their strings. Local calls and meeting at their usual hang outs meet their needs. Not even needing to change their daily routine to keep "in control" the thing they require most of all.
This letter is just to say a regular guy like me can't help change the outcome of trying to expose this much evil. The strain on my relationship has proven to much to continue with this fight. Brigette would never turn her back on this cause and will never end her endless task she has taken on. She is brave and she won't quit, but it has cost me more than I can give. So as far as I am concerned, the "lies" have won, "denial" their biggest weapon seems to be working their plan, countless people have exhausted everything to prove their case and fallen short. Everything was stacked against them and even though they repeatedly exposed the wrong doings of these child abusing cowards, it seems all was swept under the rug. Every day was a new start for them and every day was another weight hung around the innocent victims. The loss has been to great and the pain just passed my threshold. Please stand behind my wife in her fight for truth and I'm sorry for being a quitter. She obviously has the guts in our family.
Good luck to the underdogs
Keep up your good fight
God Bless

By: James Fraser ( Jim )

Thursday, October 16, 2008

"Perry Dunlop was right"! Sex abuse allegations were not investigated by C.A.S

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Sex abuse allegations were not investigated by CAS
Posted By TREVOR PRITCHARD, STANDARD-FREEHOLDER
Updated 12 hours ago
Sexual abuse allegations that came to light thanks to a lawsuit filed by former cop Perry Dunlop were never investigated by the local Children's Aid Society, the Cornwall Public Inquiry heard yesterday.
Bill Carriere testified the agency had doubts about the allegations -- which were disclosed to the CAS in 1997 by the Alexandria-Cornwall Roman Catholic Diocese -- because they originated with Dunlop, who was suing a number of people and organizations he believed were conspiring to cover up the existence of an alleged pedophile clan in the Cornwall area.
"In light of the context, yes, we wondered about (the alleged abuse)," said Carriere, who spent 33 years with the CAS before retiring in 2006.
Yesterday was Carriere's seventh and final day on the stand at the long-running inquiry, which is exploring how institutions responded to allegations of historical sexual abuse.
Dunlop has long been credited with bringing to light unreported stories of abuse in the community. He has refused to testify at the inquiry, however, and was recently released from jail after serving two sentences for contempt.
One of the priests named in Dunlop's lawsuit was Rev. Kevin Maloney, who took the stand in July. Maloney told the inquiry he willingly handed over the allegations -- which named a number of priests, including himself -- to the CAS because it was part of the diocese's protocol on handling abuse complaints, even if he believed they were untrue.
On Wednesday, the diocese's lawyer, David Sherriff-Scott, showed Carriere excerpts from the CAS' May 1997 files, immediately after the agency received the disclosures.
"What I didn't see in the file is that you did a detailed investigation of this stuff," said Sherriff-Scott, who then suggested the CAS didn't want to be "used as a pawn or manipulated" by Dunlop.
Carriere agreed his agency had concerns about the credibility of the allegations. But the CAS also decided not to pursue them, he added, because the Ontario Provincial Police were set to launch Project Truth, their own investigation into the pedophile clan rumours.
That four-year investigation laid 115 charges against 15 men.
Cornwall Police Service lawyer Peter Manderville suggested the CAS' suspicions about Dunlop went back as far as 1993, when Dunlop first divulged to the CAS his belief a clan was active in the community.
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At the time, the agency was investigating another local priest, Rev. Charles MacDonald. A former altar boy had gone to city police with allegations MacDonald had abused him decades earlier at St. Columban's Church.
According to the CAS' files, Dunlop told the agency "there were other perpetrators involved in a ring" and promised to come in personally to share his information.
Carriere testified last month the CAS tried repeatedly to set up a follow-up meeting with Dunlop, but had no success. In the end, their investigation, dubbed "Project Blue," focused squarely on MacDonald.
Manderville asked Carriere if it would be "customary" for the CAS to cease any investigation where children were potentially at risk if they felt the allegations were credible.
"No, it wouldn't be customary," said Carriere.
"So it would only happen if you felt the story wasn't credible, correct?" asked Manderville.
"I don't know how to answer that question," said Carriere. "I think it would be fair to say that we definitely had questions about (Dunlop's) information."
MacDonald was charged in 1996 with a number of sex crimes. The charges were all stayed in 2002, and MacDonald has repeatedly maintained his innocence.
The inquiry resumes today at 9:30 a. m. with a new witness.
Article ID# 1249441

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See no evil, Hear no evil, speak no evil. If you ignore things they will go away not in the real world it can come back to bite you in the behind! They are supposed to investigate any report of possible child abuse so why didn't they. Perhaps they were friends of the accused or their judgement was clouded!Don't trust this man he is a wolf in sheeps clothing.
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Post #1 By dodger, 12 hours ago 0 Votes Vote:

I think we already figured it out that he's a wolf in sheeps clothing. Retired in 2006 - comes in unannounced in Feb/Mar 2008 to interview and audiotape Gerald Fitzpatrick with 5 pages of prepared questions. Under WHO's authority we aren't told. CAS at the time puts out a $50,000 RFP for a public relations campaign (Damage control)...and not one of the Inquiry Gods asked Carriere about this!!!Agreeed - Not to be trusted!!!
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Post #2 By RealityChecker , 12 hours ago 0 Votes Vote:

oh oh concpiracy theory again. but it is good to see that you guys are thinking outside the box.
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Post #3 By itinerant, 11 hours ago 0 Votes Vote:

"In light of the context, yes, we wondered about (the alleged abuse)," said Carriere, who spent 33 years with the CAS before retiring in 2006." "Maloney told the inquiry he willingly handed over the allegations -- which named a number of priests, including himself -- to the CAS." "What I didn't see in the file is that you did a detailed investigation of this stuff," said Sherriff-Scott"***So let me see, the clown who worked with the CAS for 33 years "wondered" about the (alleged abuse)and was so concerned that there is no evidence in the file says Scott that says the clown did any detailed investigation AND the "kicker" is that even a priest (Rev.Maloney)and other priests who were "alleged" to having been accused of abusing even handed over the abuse allegations to the CAS. And the CAS did diddley! And this Carriere clown and his gang of no-goods "wondered about the alleged abuse" even though a priest brought accusations about he and other priest to the CAS and there is allegedly NO evidence of any kind of investigation or obviously concern for anyone but their own rectums. Now I understand why nothing got done and the "Scape-Goat" by the name of Perry Dunlop gets tossed in the "hoose-gow". Why would Perry Dunlop trust either the priests, the CAS or especially his own police force especially after we've seen the way the cops and courts have treated him since then. A man tries everything he can to bust up a child abuse ring and he is the one that goes to jail and the guilty walk, eh? Strange justice in this crappy land of Canada. I spit on the flag of both the Province and Canada for allowing ALL of this to go on. And you wonder even today why kids and adults won't go to the cops as witnesses, would you? I sure as hell wouldn't because between the cops and the CAS I DON'T TRUST A SINGLE ONE OF THEM. Hello Hamilton Police and the Hamilton Wentworth CAS, this applies to you BUT you both will get yours! PERRY DUNLOP SHOULD GET A MEDAL TO HANG AROUND HIS BRAVE NECK FOR TRYING TO STOP IT AND THE REST SHOULD GET A "NOOSE". Problem solved, end of abuse but we're still stuck with the CAS's and Cops all over the province who I would allege are every bit as bad as CornHoles.
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Post #4 By grimreaper_47, 11 hours ago 0 Votes Vote:

Itinerant - listen up - I hear Cornwall has someone who became pocessed in 1959 from masturbating. As a result the town ended up refering to him as the local VILLAGE IDIOT. He hasn't been able to shed that stigma and it seems nothing this VILLAGE IDIOT says to date is credible or makes sense.ANY TRUTH TO THIS???
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Post #5 By RealityChecker , 11 hours ago -1 Votes Vote:

The CAS has to be the worse organization around. What do we pay the many people at the Cornwall location to do?
Carriere says he doesn't know how to respond when asked if the CAS policy is to cease an investigation if the credibility of the person is in question?
Well they obviously responded by ceasing the investigation, so why not own up to it?
When it comes to children, everyone should go off their gut instinct. Inform the proper authorities and let them perform their investigations, regardless of "credibility". CAS will dictate this to you themselves the bunch of hypcrites...
The CAS did not want to get involved obviously because of the politics. They are only concerned with their funding.
Now where is the accountability? Oh wait CAS, police and politicians are above the rest of society...
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Post #6 By cory1720, 11 hours ago 0 Votes Vote:

Reality Checker
To be honest I have no idea ask your shrink
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Post #7 By itinerant, 10 hours ago 0 Votes Vote:

Dunlop should get a medal alright ~lol~
Has anyone ever seen his files yet?
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Post #8 By itinerant, 9 hours ago 0 Votes Vote:

Yes Itinerant you little "drip" I HAVE!!!!! But the question in return to your question which I answered should be HAVE YOU EVER SEEN PERRY'S FILES and if so, who allowed you access to them? It would appear that you're a reeeeeeeeeeal popular guy and for all the wrong reasons and as for the "shrink" comment to RealityChecker that's pretty low even for you, a person who is beyond the help of any "shrink". And by the way Rant, if you're so knowledgeable can you tell me why this rag when I went to read some posts on Sunday and could only find ONE article and then I went to read Monday's posting and lo and behold, they have ALL gone the way of the "dodo" bird, can you explain that "oh Carnack the Magnificent"? Did part of Sunday not happen in CornHole and what about Monday, wasn't that Thanksgiving? It was down here and everywhere else and they printed news. did part of Sunday not happen in CornHole and what about Monday, wasn't that Thanksgiving? It was down here and everywhere else and they printed news. And everyone, check that out for yourselves as it still remains the same today.
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Post #9 By grimreaper_47, 8 hours ago 0 Votes Vote:

Itinerant....In one of your comments on a previous story you stated "Not one of you have ever answered my questions". I will gladly answer ANY question that you have, but first you have to agree to play fair. I have asked questions of you, and you refuse to answer me. I have signed my name to most comments that I leave on here, one because I have nothing to hide and two I have nothing to fear. I am willing to treat you fairly Itinerant, all that I ask is the same.
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Post #10 By wildone, 5 hours ago 0 Votes Vote:

Fair enough Wildone I can leave my cynicism at the door if you can. Ask your question.
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Post #11 By itinerant, 5 hours ago 0 Votes Vote:

"Leave your cynicism at the door"? Spare me oh "Great One", you missed the point that "wildone" made, YOU STILL HAVEN'T ANSWERED THE MANY QUESTIONS THAT "WILDONE" HAS ALREADY ASKED OF YOU!!!! You Itinerant are the height of cynics as described in the Oxford Dictionary: (1)Shows contempt for others. (2)One who sarcastically discredits the sincerity or goodness of human motives and actions. (3)One who is churlish, incredulous of human goodness. (4)One who derides and sneers at others.***So I would suggest and in fact state that all of that suits you to a T and "wildone", I know you're waiting for that dolt to be reasonable but the only part of reasonable Rant gets is reasonaBULL, that and he loves to bait and stir things up. It's his job, bait, don't answer questions, "wildone" if there was a list made up of people who asked him questions 95% weren't answered and then he babbles on about everyone else. Have you ever heard of a turd, look it up in the dictionary and you will see Itinerant smack dab in the middle of it.
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Post #12 By nodegamra, 5 hours ago 0 Votes Vote:

nodgeamra, grimreaper or dave, which ever you prefer
I have a question for you, what is the difference between what you and me? Your posts looks exactly like what you accuse me of...dumbass
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Post #13 By itinerant, 4 hours ago 0 Votes Vote:

" what is the difference between what you and me?"????????????????????????Did you miss a word or something in that question? Just trying to figure out what you are asking.
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Post #14 By RealityChecker , 3 hours ago 0 Votes Vote:

nodgeamra is the name and as for the rest of your mistaken post, it too suits you! I'll pass! NEXT??????????????
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Post #15 By nodegamra, 3 hours ago 0 Votes Vote:

Reality Checker just remove the word what before the "you and me" in that statement
nodgeamraAnother question unanswerd, Par for the course. Justlike those you condem you are unable to accept responsibility. Should we expect anything else
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Post #16 By itinerant, 2 hours ago 0 Votes Vote:

Tee, hee, hee, hee, hee!!!!!
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Post #17 By nodegamra, 1 hour ago 0 Votes Vote:

dave how many aliases do you have, No matter how you spell your name everyone knows who you are. Your posts are all the same. Oh and even backwards it is STILL spelt wrong...dumbass
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Post #18 By itinerant, 1 hour ago 0 Votes Vote:

Discuss this Article

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

What happens to us?

My daughter just came back from Girl Guides. She went back out dressed in her uniform she received tonight, so she was just glowing a little more than usual. She sold all her cookies in ten minutes and felt such an accomplishment it almost makes me cry with emotion. Then it's like turning on a light as my emotions turn from joy to sorrow. How can I give my precious girl the breaks she deserves if I'm having such a hard time holding everything together as it is. It's so hard to enjoy today when you fear tomorrow and feel so much pain from yesterday. I do not write this for pity or sympathy, these are just my personal thoughts. I was able to hold things together despite the constant fight with some of the criminals who call the town without justice "home". I try to think about the number of peoples lives destroyed by the events that occurred in Cornwall and to be honest, it's staggering. Not just the victims but the parents of, the children of, just everyone who cares for them have felt part of the pain.
Anyone who cares knows some of the statistics available which are obviously somewhat clouded by the number of people unable to face their past, scared to tell the truth or embarrassed to admit the horrors they experienced. There is no shame in being a victim, but that along with many other lies is what they were told. The horrible truth is whether you want to face it or not and some of us have not even been told, but I doubt there is one person in the world who doesn't have at least one person they care about who hasn't been a victim. Some refuse to face that fact and a lot believe it or not won't allow themselves to confront that fact. I feel for these people that can't face it, but that makes you part of the problem. It's hard to swallow, but sometimes the truth hurts. As usual I have become long winded and went all over the place with my thoughts. The main thing I was trying to say is, the crimes that happened in Cornwall so often and openly, are going to take generations of healing. The plan is ending the counselling some number of months after the Commissioners ruling. So once the wounds have been opened the victims and families who rely greatly on the counselling they have finally received, "will be cut off". The Hospitals will be so over run with distraught people that they will be told to leave and get mental help. I'm sure that won't help the outcome. I wonder just what victimizing all these poor people again and again is really going to accomplish. They have allowed these criminals to be excused from testifying with a darn doctors note. They have lied, squirmed in that seat and denied blame, knowledge and responsibility for the actions we know they have done. Thanks so much for the government getting involved so we could straighten all this out!

By:JIM

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Good Evening:)


Hello:) I thought I would let you know that today I am feeling better:) I spoke with a good friend last night and she made me feel better:) One thing, one huge thing that made a difference last night was what she said, " why do you call your dad "dad" that was something I never thought about! You know, I feel better now because I will just call him "ray rivette" with NO capitals! I thought it would be bad if I did that because he is a parent in the eyes of GOD, BUT I was told last night that it's ok that I just call him "ray" because he doesn't deserve the "dad" name. I know that this may sound silly but to me, it is big...I don't know why yet...but I will find out...maybe in therapy:) Anyhow, today I dyed my hair and for the first time in months, many months, I put make up on...it felt alright..I felt better doing that:)

Well my daughter needs the computer, so I will have to say by for now and we will talk again later:) Thank you for stopping by:)


Your Friend,


Brigette

Saturday, October 11, 2008

NOTHING


Today I feel not so good.....the life in my past was and is like a third dimension. I don't want to except that these things happened to me. I can't except it. Today I feel like I am just a capsule, I don't feel...I thought it would be a good idea to put a note on the refrigerator for me to look in a drawer and take out a book so I can follow what has to be done in the house each day, but today I looked in the drawer and it hasn't been written in for 2 days "where was I"....I try to stay positive, I try to stay focus but it doesn't stay for very long. Today I took my sleeping medication so I can go to sleep early, cause maybe tomorrow will be better for me, maybe tomorrow it will feel different. I am lost again...tears are just a part of me, a part that express someone else.....something else....I don't know where it comes from. I feel like I am trapped in this world with no place to hide.....I feel like bars in front of me and I can't go anywhere. I wonder where my mother was or is.....no protector...how alone do I feel now....very much alone. I had a total hysterectomy 4 years ago because my insides were scarred severely and everything was a mess.. ( butcher doctor) I don't feel like a women anymore...I am just a body...I see and hear my abusers slip away in the cracks of the Inquiry and there is nothing I can do....nothing. They don't see any bars....they don't feel any pain...the don't know what is happening to me.....they don't care, so long as I go away quietly they will leave me alone, but they don't know they are still here...the struggle to keep living.....the struggle to keep breathing...I never look in the mirror anymore because I don't see anyone there. I am a part of nothing. Such a big word "NOTHING"


It's time for me to say goodnight....

The cause and effect of Cornwall!

I would like to share with you the true cost of standing beside a survivor of the lack of justice in Cornwall. To me, losing my daughter for about a year and a half, to false allegations, not being able to see my other children from a previous marriage do to the Inquiry going on, (for their safety) loosing several cars, vans, trucks, work trailer, my business, three quarters of my furniture, my life savings plus over ten thousand dollar receipts, absolute discharges on fabricated charges. Moving and hiding from death threats that we have witnesses and reported (nothing was done about it ) I even told the police I wanted to give them my statement with Brigette's, and they said I wasn't even present, ( words that came from the perpetrators, and the police believed them!) On top of Brigette's several suicide attempts, numerous calls to 911 complaining about these harassment's from Cornwall, and I hear from them "Do you really think were going to do anything to help you?" The last response from allegations we made to the police regarding Brigette's family from Cornwall that nearly cost her her life twice was, "return to your family, they love you very much and the problem is the guy you are with (they were talking about me)". This was just after Brigette's family tried to convince her to commit suicide again, (to keep her silent ). Another huge part that I lost was my lively hood, my ability to work for physical reasons ( I believe Brigette told you what happened ) a criminal assault on me done by the manipulation and control of her father, Raymond Rivette. My reputation due to many unfounded lies to CAS and the police, my strength and most of all my sanity. There is so many more small things, and as some people told me, " why are you so troubled, she's the victim not you" why don't you just leave her." I would like to say that, living with a victim of sexual abuse who on top of that has Dissociative Identity Disorder, is very much a cause to say that I to feel her pain and go through the emotional roller coaster ride with her, I choose to stay with her because that is what love is. Financially it has put a huge toll on our lives because I haven't been able to work do to the surgery (with complications) and the fact that because of the Inquiry, Brigette has been needing my undivided attention and her 24 hour anytime "alters" from her haunted past caused by Cornwall! It appalls me that there is NO justice being done to the ones that has caused Brigette's nightmare of a life and NO justice in what is happening in the Inquiry. This Inquiry has caused our family our sanity, time and funds (none, there of) I truly don't know where we go from here, but those who put us here, I hope at least have to answer to their actions.

P.S I love you Brigette, with you till the end...xoxox
by: Jim

Friday, October 10, 2008

A quick note

It is amazing how Bryan Keough mentions how "he feels like he is the victim". If you read the article about my father, Raymond Rivette ( near the bottom of this webpage ) the psychiatrist that assessed him states that my father felt like " he was a victim". It doesn't surprise me how these people try to compensate for the wrong doings they have done by mentioning "they are the victims". They have a twisted mind and meaning of love or caring. If one feels like that, in my strong opinion, they will not get better and they will continue to molest, so long as they keep feeling they are the victims.

Who really needs the protecting, and who is getting it?

This is not a direct comment on the quality of reporting, or lack there of, I just would like you people that are "still in denial" or supporting these lowest forms of life "CHILD PREDATORS" to know just one event in a life of a victim. Brigette was attempting to read what that perverted " Bryan Keough" did in that home, run by the CAS. Brigette again spent the whole day reliving yet another incident brought up by the events, the blaming on others, the total disregard for the only thing this whole organization was designed to protect, "the children". The police knew, CAS knew, who else should have to know before something was done? In actual fact, from what I've seen, it didn't matter who else knew but the fact remains, "the main two parties entrusted to protect not only did nothing, but were, if you can believe their stories and if you do , doesn't it just explain the trust issues there, they were afraid to confront their supervisors". Their claim was , it would slow down the process, so alerting the people with more power would in fact not help! If I have a problem, I go to people that can make a decision, they usually can speed the process along, certainly not slow it down, but anyway, back to my big worry. I watched Brigette being re victimized again and again, every day and the powers that be are trying to spin this off as it being some sort of healing. Where in this world would the events that have transpired ever since the beginning of this farce, be deemed as healing? This is NOT a small vent over coffee type reaction. Brigette, as well as so many others have come close to ending their lives because of the events in Cornwall. It seems NOBODY has a grasp on what this is doing to people who are already so fragile, just the normal every day stresses of life can put them over the edge. Do these people in this Inquiry realize what hangs in this balance of justice? I hope in the end when the Commissioners report is rendered, he's not thinking of the obviously guilty people at the very least guilty of conspiracy, but he comprehends the impact this will have on the brave people who are trying to get justice from a system that appears to be more looking for EXCUSES, SCAPEGOATS AND FALL GUY'S, not the reality of the situation. I could only guess what percentage of the next generation coming up to run this country, have had among other things, their dignity ripped out of them. I just wonder what changes are to come in the next say 20 years, because we are formed by our experiences and how many of these victims have formed good trusting qualities from their experiences and the ensuing justice they have been awarded?
Better think.
By:Jim

Thursday, October 9, 2008

A Very Upset Alter!!!


I read this article this morning, I got half way through it and I don't know what happened to me!! All of a sudden I ran out of the office crying then screaming, clenched fists and panic! My husband told me after that I was saying no no no, stop, stop, I don't want to remember!!! My alters had a huge huge battle this morning over this article and I don't know why. I can only imagine what is in store for me to find out! I will let you know when I know. I have some bits of fragments to do with CAS and sexual abuse....but I just can't believe the outbreak that happened this morning. Thanks to my husband, he brought me back and I am now in the present, writing you this letter.


Got to go, talk with you later. I am trying to fix the problem about the petition because some people are concern if they sign the petition they are also signing into or committing to Care2, I am not sure, so I will look into this.


Thank you to all so far that have given their voices, you mean so much to us:)

Your Friend,

Brigette

web cast live; The Cornwall Public Inquiry! Know the truth, or there of.

I wanted to add the video here so you can go straight to the source, just how the Inquiry is investigating abuse since the 1950's. Also this will show you how the perpetrators get pampered in this Inquiry. Maybe pay close attention to the Commissioners comments! Maybe see who testifies and who doesn't! JUST CLICK ON WEB CAST LIVE, AND IT WILL TAKE YOU THERE! Thank you, it is extremely very important that people around the world, outside of Cornwall KNOW what is HAPPENING! We are talking about "CHILDREN OF SEXUAL ABUSE"
WHO FAILED US???

CAS Testified! In My Opinion, I am disgusted!!

Comments on this Article.You are currently not logged in

Well, okay...I will go first. I vigorously assert that this Cornwall Standard-Freeholder news article misses many very, very important points, which took place in yesterdays hearings. "Bombshells" to say the least. If possible, I urge readers to watch the proceedings online or attend them at the Weave Shed, to get the facts.Based on my interpretation of testimony by Fitzpatrick to 1200hrs on Wednesday, October 8, 2008, she is either, 1) very brave and courageous to have finally "taken a leap of faith", or, 2) some other intention and motive exists, taking into consideration this is 2008 and she has held the facts she is testifying about since 1993 or before.
But she appears unafraid to assert herself.
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Post #1 By JAMES "SPEAK OUT", 1 day ago 1 Votes Vote:

AND THEY SENT PERRY DUNLOP TO JAIL, EH? LOOKS LIKE HE WASN'T THE ONLY ONE WHO DIDN'T HAVE ANY FAITH IN THE UPPER ECHELON OF THE CPS OR THE JUSTICE SYSTEM, NOT TO FORGET THE R.C. CHURCH AND IT'S GANG OF NO-GOODS AT THAT TIME OR NOW!!!!! OBVIOUSLY, THERE WAS QUITE A LOT OF REASONS FOR THIS AND I DOUBT WHETHER THE INQUIRY OR THE FREELOADER WILL EITHER GET IT RIGHT OR PUBLICIZE IT WITH WHAT I WOULD ALLEGE IS THEIR OBVIOUS BIAS IN ALL OF THIS AND AS FOR THE ABUSED WHO ARE STILL ALIVE, IT WOULD APPEAR THEY ALSO DON'T GIVE A SH*T ABOUT THEM EITHER!!
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Post #2 By grimreaper_47, 23 hours ago 1 Votes Vote:

Funny how everyone who had anything to do with protecting a child that did not do the right thing has someone else to blame for that and in this case the one that is to blame is an officer that was excused from testifying at the inquiry officer Sebalj. And the CAS worker that did not do the right thing is Fitzpatrick. Is there anything wrong with this picture all the people that should have known what was the right thing to do did nothing. I can tell you from dealing with the CAS for over 5 years that if i had done anything as foolish as these people did I would have been charged with neglect and child endangerment. And they would have taken any children in my charge away from me. So why were either of these employees still retained they obviously lack judgement which must be required for someone who is either a police officer or a CAS worker. After all they protect the children.
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Post #3 By dodger, 16 hours ago 0 Votes Vote:

Discuss this Article

Saturday, October 4, 2008

LETTER'S WRITTEN TO PERRY FROM: COMMENTS,The Standard Freeholder, "Dunlop being set free today" Posted By Megan Harrison







How do you thank a man who has protected my integrity and my life to this point? How do you thank a man who was willing to be torn from his family to protect those that needed protecting the most? How do you thank a man who held his voice to protect mine? I took the stand and found my voice and Perrys' refusal to participate has kept the focus where it should be, on those that had the courage to speak out at last. They looked for an Achilles heel on him, none could be found! They baited and tempted him, "testify and go free Perry", his silence spoke volumes to me. Warriors don't bend, warriors don't turn and run, and warriors do not comprimise. The truth has been our shield, our comfort and our hope.
To Heather with the angelic smile....your son is free!!!Watching you watching and touching him last night has taught me a new meaning of love.
To Helen with the radiant glow....your man is free!!! Watching you watching and touching him last night has taught me a deeper meaning of love, life and sacrifice.
To Heather, Marlee and Monica....your Dad is free!!! My deepest gratitude to you beautiful young angels. Treasure him!!!
To Perry....YOU ARE FREE!!! Go home and fish, hammer and hunt. How do I put into words what you have done for me? I suppose the easiest way is to say to the detractors....re-read this blog and weep. "Let down the victims"? You have taken the hits to protect us, you have sat in silence so that we can be heard and you never wavered in your conviction. I am honoured and privilidged to have hugged you last night. You have taught me a deeper meaning of love, life, strength and character.
John Mac Donald
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Post #6 By wildone, 10 hours ago 0 Votes Vote:

Perry the best of luck to you and Helen and the girls. My prayers were answered of seeing you free but we are never really free of such terrible things that have happened and still happening by those horrible people who run Cornwall. I too have left and will never return except for a visit but never to live again. I wish that I were much further away and you did the right thing. You have an awful lot to be proud of - you have a lovely family and you have good friends waiting for you when you go back home. All the very best to you and your family. I am so happy that I am shedding tears. You are a very good family and I went to high school with Carson Chisholm and I know you are all good people. Forget the terrible things of Cornwall and make a new life for yourselves. That is what I am trying to do. Cornwall is finished for good and I have to erase it all from memory. All the best.
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Post #7 By jules10003, 8 hours ago 0 Votes Vote:

Perry Dunlop is now FREE:):):)


Perry Dunlop is now free:) I am so happy that he finally gets to go home! This man should have never been sent to jail. Perry Dunlop only tried to bring the secret out about sexual abuse that was happening in Cornwall. In his opinion, he only said he didn't believe in the Inquiry "to me, that is freedom of speech" it was an Inquiry, not a criminal trial! My father got a slap on the wrist, but Perry Dunlop got 7 months straight jail time for refusing to testify, " when at first, they said he didn't have to". How can a perpetrator like my father "Raymond Rivette" get practically nothing, and Perry Dunlop get 7 months? Please someone explain this to me!


Hurray for you Perry!!! May God bless you and your family. To Mrs. Helen Dunlop, you are a strong women, you stood close to your husband and family and pulled through it!! Many things can be accomplished! Congratulation's to the Dunlops!!!!:)

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Replying to a recent comment


Hello to the one that left a comment below this one, "Explaining the picture below" If you like, could you please explain your feeling of the comment you left? Was it the pictures that offended you or the letter to my mother? What would be your worries concerning my daughter? You of course do not need to answer this, but it is a healing place and if there is something that has bothered you, I would be more then content to explain my pictures and or letter to my mother.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Explaining the picture below

I wasn't sure if I wanted to put this picture of a knife in the hands of this women with blood dripping, but for me I needed to because I did self mutilate along time ago and it was something that I went through. This picture also represents in my eyes "PAIN" that I have and am going through. I apologize for the graphic nature of it, but for me it was very real and has happened. As for the blue rose, for me the blue is self explanatory and the rose has a huge significant for me, at times when my Dad came to my room to sexually abuse me, the next day he would by me roses. For the other picture, I chose this one because she has her finger to her lips for silence, something I was always taught, the sadness in her eyes is something I feel everyday.

Thank you for your understanding.

Letter to you Mom







To you my reader, I would like to say that at this moment I would like to write a letter to my mother whom I haven't spoken to since 2005 when she phoned me to tell me she felt I would take a bunch of pills and die. The last time I saw her was in 2001. I just sent Jim and my daughter to the park tonight so I could write this letter to my mother. I am not sure she will see it nor if my sisters will tell her about this letter. In the process of my healing, I feel I need to write this letter, so I hope you don't mind. I also want my readers, like you, to know what it is like when you grow up in an incestuous family and how some people heal or unfortunately, don't make it. So please be patient with me while I write this letter, I am not sure what will come out in this letter, so please excuse me.

To Mom:

.....I just finished watching this movie about a girl who was molested by her father and how her mother at first did not believe her. Later in the show it turns out that she does believe her because the father was going to give their daughter a brand new car, I guess that is when the mother knew the daughter was telling the truth because the father was trying to buy the daughter off to keep her mouth shut. So the mother left the father, and at the end you see her mother hugging her daughter and saying she loved her and she was sorry.

I looked at Jim and told him, " I wish that was my mother, that was always my dream that my mother would hold me and tell me that she was sorry for what dad did and all the others did to me, and you know what, she knew, she knew all those times and did nothing".
Jim didn't know what to say, he asked if I wanted to go somewhere to the park or to Tim Hortons with our daughter to get out and change the feeling. I in turn could only say to him, " hypothetical Jim, do you think you could be ok alone with our daughter to raise her?" He asked me why I said that, or what would be my plans, and that he didn't like to hear that, that we are a family and we wouldn't be the same if you were not with us". I had no answer for him, I didn't even know what I would do or why I said that. So, I asked him if he could take our daughter to the park while I write this letter to you Mom.

When I was little and dad started to touch me in my privates, I never told you because he told me, I was the bad one and that you would never believe me and I would be taken away from you, so needless to say I didn't tell you, to many years later in my life. The first time I told you, I had the two boys in the bedroom sleeping and one was 1 and a half years old and the youngest was just born. I told you on the phone that dad had tried more stuff on me....you had already knew many times that he did things to me and you did nothing, I didn't tell you, but Ginnette did. That day you said to me, " that's enough, you had enough, I'm going to have a talk with your father and that's it"! You came and lived with me for a couple of days then you went back to talk with dad. When I found out that you both had worked things out, I asked you, is he mad at me? I was afraid that he would yell at me. You told me, " no, no, he's not mad, I told your father that I was tired of this and that he was to leave you girls alone, that it wasn't going to happen anymore!" You told me, that YOU deserved more then this in life, you deserved furs and riches and what ever you wanted and that HE was going to give it to you! Can you hear this mom? Can you hear what I am saying, what YOU had said to me! How do you think that makes me feel? You didn't think about me or what he did to me! That is approximately when I left Cornwall for the very first time! Later a few years later, I decided to charge dad, when I was away from you both, when you both couldn't manipulate me nor scare me. You came down to talk to me, do you remember that? I was crying on the bed wrapped my knees up to my face and for the first time I told you in detail what one of the things that dad did to me, do you remember that? I told you that when I was 6 years old, that was the first time dad RAPED ME! I told you what he did to me at first when he was on top of me, when I couldn't breath, he licked me in the ear and said, " your mom loves this, and I'm going to show you what it's going to be like to be a women, and what your job is". YOUR reaction to that was, " So, dad and I both enjoyed that". Mom that is VERY SICK, how could you have said that to me?? I never then told you EVER AGAIN what dad did to me! There were many times that I told you others have done things to me and YOUR reaction again was, " he was retarded, it wasn't his fault! That is your grandfather, do what dad tells you to do! The uncles and the priests by that time I couldn't say a dam thing because what would you have told me then mom???? By the way if you remember, that was around the time you took me to get that abortion that I didn't know about. I had a life inside of me, a breathing, heart beating, moving life inside of me!!! Though it was a SICK thing that it was DADS, YOU should of taken me to see a REAL DOCTOR OR COUNCILLOR OR SOMETHING!!!!Instead you took me to a BUTCHER DOCTOR WHO SCRAPED THE HELL OUT OF ME AND LEFT ME WITH SCARES THAT DOCTORS NOW SAY, THEY CAN'T BELIEVE THE MESS THAT IS IN THERE!!! YOU LEFT ME TO BLEED ALMOST TO MY DEATH, ALONE, WITH NO ONE THERE TO COMFORT ME!!!! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING MOM?? You used to get me dressed up real pretty for you to show me off to friends of dads, do you remember that?? Friends that the Inquiry is talking about!! You know, the ones you said, " OH, those people looked down on your father when he was charged, now look at them, it looks good on them! Do you remember telling me that??? GOD...I have to take a deep breath here because I just don't know what to say!!!!

The phone just rang for me to pick up Jim and our daughter, I have to leave right now but I will be back because I am not done talking with you mom. GOD....I feel like crying right now, and breaking down....BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, I CAN'T BECAUSE I HAVE TO GO AND PICK UP MY FAMILY, MOM!!!! I HAVE A JOB TO DO AND I HAVE NO CHOICE, I HAVE TO...BE BACK!!

I'm back mom, there are so many unanswered questions mom that I don't think I will ever get the answers. You know, I was just thinking that one time you came to me, it was in 2000 that you said to me that your brother-inlaw molested you and you didn't know what to do or say to him or if you wanted to say anything to him, do you remember that? I said to you, " mom do what you need to do, if it makes you feel better, write him a letter. You said to me, " I can't write him a letter because his daughter will find out and be mad at me". I told you," it doesn't mater mom what she will say, you have to let it out", you said, " dad will be upset if I write this letter" so you and I went to talk to dad upstairs and he was telling you NOT to write the letter, I told him (and that was after I had charged him ) that YOU had to do what was best for yourself, that it's a part of healing, so you and I stayed up for late hours of the night writing this letter to him and you cried and felt better after and you sent the letter out, or maybe you didn't after I left, maybe dad told you not to send it out, but you got your feelings out. You know.....I don't even know why I helped you, maybe it's because I felt sorry for you that someone did something bad to you, and you were like a child that day, in pain.
There are questions mom, like why you told me when I was 9 that you tried to put my sister, my brother and me into a garage and tried to gas us, saying that we would no longer be in pain and that GOD would take care of us and we would be better off. Maybe that's why so many times I wished to die because the pain would go away. Another time when your mother died (grandma) and you wanted to be with her, screaming and screaming that you wanted to die, that you wanted to be with her, how do you think your child (me) was feeling at the time seeing you like this?? When dad made me kiss the coffin when grandpa died, that was before the abortion I had! When grandpa died you left on a vacation that cost me!!! Dad missed you and told me, I look so much like you and that he wanted me to have sex with him!! I said, not now dad, my friend is here!!! I BLAME YOU FOR LEAVING ME MOM!!!!YOU KNEW WHAT DAD WAS DOING TO ME, AND YOU LEFT ME ALONE AGAIN WITH HIM!!! WHY??? How do you sleep at night knowing what you have done to me?? I can't even sleep at night without having nightmares, my daughter has to wake up to hearing me crying and screaming, she has to tell me, "it's just a bad dream mom, your ok, close your eyes and think of something good mom", these are things that I say to her when she has a bad dream from a movie she watched. My nightmares are from the nightmares that you and dad did to me mom!!
There are questions about medication you use to give me mom, times you gave me half the bottles of medicine at one time, when now I know you should have only given me a teaspoon. Back then I should have died. Why was it that I was always in the hospital when I was 5 and continuing till I was 9 or 10. It was bowel problems and stomach problems, why mom?? I think you know why! You made so many excuses to me why you shouldn't leave dad, do you remember that? You use to say that the CAS would take us away and split us up, or that dad would come after you and kill you, that he said, " if I can't have you, then no one else would", do you remember telling me this? You told me you once had a gun to his head and threatened if he ever touched us girls again, you would shoot him. The first time I told you what dad did to me, the last time dad did something to me, you told me you had a gun in your mouth and you were going to pull the trigger, (I am glad you didn't) I only wish that you would have done something when we were young. Mom you knew, I know that dad gave you pills at night to make you go to sleep so he could come into our room, but you always had us come into your room on Sundays every Sunday to say to dad what he did to us the night before, so he could remember and say he was sorry. Mom, what was that?? Did that in some way turn you on?? cause I don't know for what other reason you would have made us do that. You never told the police or CAS. I know the church dad was very involved in, I know that they trained dad and others how to make us children do the things we had to do. That was obey, never question, don't speak of what was done or seen, respect who was in authority. You all fell in the category of some sick cult. Pictures and money and trading children, that was what it all was about mom and you knew that. You know, your father, my grandpa was the only good man in my life and even that you tried to tell me he was bad. He made things with me out of wood, he told me happy stories, and we had tea together, You had to try and tell me he was a bad man, yet he was the only man that NEVER did anything bad to me! Maybe he knew what was going on and didn't like it, so that was why you didn't want me to love him or get closer to him. He is probably turning in his grave knowing what you did, standing beside dad and following his orders. You always answered the phone when it was a foot away from dad, you always had his shoes shined, his clothes pressed and on the bed ready to wear, you were at his beck and call! Maybe that men you once said, you had loved and it wasn't dad, maybe you should have went with him, then our lives would have turned out different. You told me you had to marry dad, YOU TOLD ME HE RAPED YOU BEFORE YOU GOT MARRIED! Doesn't that tell you something MOM?? You were NEVER FREE MOM, YOU WERE NEVER "YOU" You needed some help, and you should have gotten it!! It cost your children's lives, did you see it that way mom? Look at the pain all of us adult children are going through now. We don't even talk with each other anymore, my sisters did on this site a couple of months ago, but look at the pain they have, Ginnette came to the extreme to help dad by coming down here and threatening me and my family, and I ALMOST LOST MY LIFE BECAUSE OF IT! Tammy is in so much pain you can't even comfort her and say you are sorry for putting her through that. Ginnette you even told me, you used to beat her up and slam her head against the wall when she was only 4 or 5 because she was hard headed. Did you think maybe it was because she was spirited and full of life ( not difficult but loved to learn and be free ) but you and dad both killed that in her! YOU and DAD broke her spirit! Now I have to deal with a sister that tried to kill me and or make me very sick!!! A brother who has a hard time to talk to me because....he is going through his own pain. YOU and DAD have segregated me from my siblings, SO THAT THEY CAN'T SEE THE LIGHT INTO WHAT YOU BOTH HAVE DONE TO THEM. I pray that one day they WILL see what you both have done, then maybe we will get to truly know each other and maybe have some happy times in the future together with our own families. I JUST HOPE THAT DAD HAS NOT DONE ANYTHING TO ANY OTHER CHILD SINCE I CHARGED HIM BACK THEN, CAUSE THAT WOULD NOT BE GOOD!!!!! The child that lived across the street from you in the country that dad shewed off the last day I saw him, I reported it to the CAS but unfortunately they told me they couldn't do anything because, DAD DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING ON HIS RECORD, AND NONE OF MY SIBLINGS REPORTED ANYTHING ABOUT HIM, THEY COULDN'T INVESTIGATE, I TOLD THEM THAT I WAS PROOF AND THAT HE WASN'T TO BE AROUND ANY CHILD UNDER THE AGE OF 16 UNLESS ACCOMPANIED BY A PARENT, THEY TOLD ME " YOU ARE WITH HIM, YOU ARE CONSIDERED A PARENT" GOD, DON'T THEY KNOW, YOU NEVER PROTECTED ME!! LOOK WHAT HAPPENED TO ME!!
There is so much more I can say......and you know, I am not going to feel responsible in how you are going to handle what I have just said here in this letter to you, you have threatened me to many times saying, you are going to commit suicide because of what I said or did. You have disowned me 3 times in my life because I wanted to tell the truth and say what had happened!
NO MORE MOM, IT'S OVER, I WILL DEAL WITH MY PAIN AND I WILL GET BETTER, I AM RAISING MY DAUGHTER WITH LOVE, HONESTY, AND LETTING HER KNOW THAT SHE IS LOVED AND SHE IS SOMEBODY WHO IS SMART AND THAT IF ANYONE, GOD FORBID WOULD EVER HURT HER.....NEED I SAY MORE, JIM AND I WILL PROTECT HER AT ANY COST AND WE WILL HAVE HER GROW WITH ALL OF WHO SHE IS!!

I am very sadden in how my life went and the lives of my siblings and I pray for their growth in understanding what has happened to them, that one day their light will shine and they will have peace within themselves. As for me only God knows what is in store for me, I ask him every day to give me strength and courage to get through the times of pain and trials, it is hard because I fight the pain of life and what is up there in heaven waiting for me, but I know I have a family to raise and they need me mom....I'm sure now from you reading this letter or Ginnette or Tammy telling you about this letter, you won't care what happens to me in this life....but you know...I have to deal with it the best way I can.....and well...I shall see.

I don't know how to end this letter except to say..

Your forgotten child

What's going on today with me


It's past 2 in the morning, again I can't sleep. I am lost in two worlds, the past and now. I guess that is how it's always been for me. Today Jim, myself and our daughter decided to go to the beach, even though it was cooler outside, it was nice. It's the first time I saw parachuter's with a ski board in the water. It was a cool site to see. The way the parachute leaped the person right out of the water then come smashing down into the cold high waves, was breath taking. Just parking the car and watching was so exciting. This was something new for me, and our dog didn't mind it either "smile". Our daughter took the stick she had and started writing down things in the sand, when a parachute was coming in for a landing ( lol ) you should have seen her jump into the car:) It was a relaxing day and we didn't talk much about Cornwall today, and for that, we did good. Lately though, I don't know what is happening with me, I feel at any moment I could start to cry or sometimes I feel like I can't talk much. I try hard to put on a smile with the family but they always know when something is up, I wish I knew. I want to fight for the Children of Cornwall and the adult victims and sometimes I get on this computer and try everything to make as many people aware of Cornwall as possible but it is hard, I sit on here and sometimes Jim has to say to me, "Brigette maybe you should take a break, you should see yourself right now, you are so tired and worn out". But I feel I can't let go, there is something but I don't know what it is. I read the articles from The Standard Freeholder from Cornwall and I just can't believe the way things are going on. I left that town so so many years ago, yet it is as if I still live in the town. When will I be able to live in the place I am living in? When will Cornwall not be a part of me any longer? I wish I had answers. Sometimes I think that if someone or something could be done about bringing out the truth in that town then maybe I could say, "yes, they see now, yes there is something that is going to be done, yes the adult victims are getting their justice and they can be at peace now". No more tears or pain, they can live free, they can walk free, they can hold their heads up high instead of down, they can smile without trying to hide it, they can dance and sing freely. I feel so much pain for the victims....I wish I can hug them and tell them it's going to be alright that the people of Cornwall heard us and they know what happened and they believe us, that the person that hurt us is now going to be in their cell. We had no choice in the matter when we were young, we had a judge and jury and that was the perpetrators. We got taught horrible things and beliefs that in this world should never have had. That punishing ourselves for the crimes of others was not suppose to happen. That allowing ourselves to be happy was alright. It was brainwashed into us so deep, it's so hard to retrain ourselves that what they said was untrue but we have to. We have to allow ourselves to know that what they said and manipulated into us was a sick way of spiritual twisting, that their spiritual beliefs were from some evil world. They speak in many languages, not literally but by way of turning a thought of love into a twisted way of love ( if that makes any sense ) my mind is tired now and it's time to try and sleep, I have to get up in a couple of hours for my daughter and it makes it hard for the next day when your mind is tired. So I have said enough tonight, I hope I made some sense of things, my thoughts can sometimes ramble on but are needed to be said, so here it is or was.
Goodnight and Good morning

Friday, September 26, 2008

A day when you feel like it's enough



I have been very lost today. I'm down about the petition because there hasn't been many signatures, mind you the ones that have signed are hero's in my eyes. It's just really hard to know that for me being molested and raped for years, molested again over and over...I am tired...I feel my ambitions slipping away. To make that town noticed for the entangled, manipulating, brainwashing mess they have caused is well over my head. These priests,lawyers, parole officers and others have weekend many survivors and have made it worst the way the Inquiry is being ruined. There is no justice in the system, hidden secrets will be kept that way. I don't know what more I can do. I wish I could get help into helping me to expose this town. My health,police,doctor and other records have gone missing. They don't know where they are. One Dr. Ahmed from Cornwall I heard, has destroyed all his medical files, I use to see him in psychiatry, he was charged for sexual abuse and can no longer practice in Ontario. But where do you find justice? I need someone to help me to understand how to get justice when it or they don't do their jobs to find the truth and convict. I am very sad...I have tried many places to put the site out there but not to many people come.

I am tired....

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Re: Priest Won't Testify


Seven days ago an article was written by The Standard Freeholder " Priest won't testify"

My opinion on this, " Oh, I can't believe it...... So, again they have allowed another tooth in the cog of the wheel of the machine that formed the clan that stole the justice from the system that Cornwall built. The 3 most written things I see in all these comments are- I can't believe looks like a cover-up, and where's the justice? Put it all together for those of you who are still in denial, you better believe it's a cover-up without justice. The perpetrators who hide in the shadows are free. Not only free from judgement, but from even being questioned about how they failed to be responsible for ensuring the diocese's policy on handling sexual abuse complaints, and how they were being followed. Shame on you Rev. McDougauld. How can an honest running Inquiry allow (sick leave) get out of jail free- notes, to many perpetrators and prominent citizens that could have given some truth to the public and recognition to the victims, as to what happened and is still happening in Cornwall!
By: Jim

Tracing back to move forward

My wife and I were this morning discussing some of the problems a lot of us are facing. We wish to raise awareness about what negativity affects our lives. For us, the crisis- in Cornwall. We do realize that every corner of the world has a devastating problem. For example, starvation, lack of water, slave labour, health care, (child sex trade) as one of the most severe, these are just a few of them. The world would be applauded if they were to learn of it. These are examples, we all know. Some of us for whatever reason, won't acknowledge this fact, but we know. Just be sure behind every Country there is a travesty. Behind every travesty there are people trying to raise awareness. However, in front of every group trying to help raise awareness there is a guilty group trying to deny or downplay the problem. Common sense tells us the group trying to suppress, are the ones with something to hide. Evasion is a sign of guilt. There is only one cure for guilt, absolution, to achieve that healing process you must admit the problem exists. There- lies the problem. We are all born with the same basic feelings, needs, hopes, and dreams. We all react differently to life's ups and downs, however explaining the same problems yet have two opposite outcomes. Why ? What makes some care for others problems and some have no interest whatsoever. Some sympathize and others tell you to grow up, get over it, or even worse, worry about yourself. I was watching a children's movie with my daughter and I realized how much more I learnt from a simple children's video. I assume it's because the messages weren't clouded and riddled. Not designed to be giving anything but the most simple lesson. We have all heard the saying "speaking to someone like a child". When we do that, which is usually insulting to the adult your doing it to, we feel these people are not understanding what we are trying to say. So you speak the same way you were spoken to as a child, which is when- we learnt our lessons and formed our reactions to what we learnt. What I just said sounds kind of hokey but I'm trying to explain my belief, that if we could go back to the point in life where we formed our opinions and were given different reactions to events, simple deduction, we are what we learn. That is exactly what perpetuates behaviour. What we were taught is what we teach. Much easier to paddle down stream then up. So most of us don't question what we are taught and grow up with this becoming our beliefs, therefore the same things we pass on. If we all learn to question who we are or were told, we would then learn the truth. Some of us do this now, like an incest survivor who would NEVER allow the same thing to happen to their child. The child who grows up in any situation does not necessarily mean they will follow their examples but statistics prove it likely. I pray we can all re-think what we've learnt and be sure we treat others as we wish to be treated. One lesson I've learned from my child's video's " a big man looks after himself, a bigger man looks out for others!"Try to be aware of the greater good....

By: Jim

Friday, September 19, 2008

THE SILENT CHILD.. CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE

This video is exactly what I went through every night, the toy I held was a doll, who heard and saw all my secrets. To every adult who has gone through this, I am truly sorry that you had to endure such horrific injustices.

The video above, I found on Youtube hosted by newvision4him

Thank you newvision4him for showing the child within me how she felt, when daddy came around at night.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

My files gone missing again in Cornwall

Hello, today was yet again a disappointing day, a day of loss, anxiety, frustration. A memory again entered my mind unexpectedly to when I was 14, when my mother took me to Dr. Chodneyki's office to have that illegal abortion (murder) I had not known at the time what was going on, nor why this was happening to me. I remembered today that back when I was charging my father for sexual abuse, I phoned the doctors office and asked them for my health records. The secretary told me that they had NO records of me. I was shocked because he was my doctor for 21 years, yet they had nothing. I told the secretary I would subpoena the records then 2 days later she phoned me and said," the only record we have of you was when you were 7 and had a stomach infection". Now today when I read something about a Dr. Ahmed working in Brockville I got a little worried because I thought at first it was the same Doctor that was charged in Cornwall in 2002 for sexual abuse of one of his patients, he was a psychiatrist. He used to be my psychiatrist when I lived in Cornwall. The one in Brockville wasn't the same one. I phoned the College and Physicians and asked them how I could reach Dr. Ahmed from Cornwall, and she told me that I couldn't because he is no longer on their list and he can't practise in Ontario. I told her I needed my medical files from him and she said I wouldn't be able to get them because he destroyed them! So I can't have my files from my 21 year doctor and I can't have my files from my old psychiatrist! What is that? These files are mine, they are to do with me, yet I can't have them. Where I live now, I have NEVER had a problem getting any of my files, so I say why is it that Cornwall is such a secretive place? Why do they always need to hide files? I don't know, it just upsets me so much. Some people may say, " why are you letting it get to you, or why do you need the files now, it's over, let it go" I say, " I have multiple personality disorder-there are many parts of me that need answers and need to feel connected, these files are a part of them, this helps the "unit" to understand things or happenings" I know that maybe this doesn't make sense to you, and it is hard for me to make sense of it but I have to listen within, if I want to forward myself to healing. When something so important as a doctor scraping the insides out of me, leaving a baby foot to be found in the toilet and a psychiatrist that played with dolls sexually to me making me feel very uncomfortable, " I wanted those records" so today I paced the floors, I spoke with Jim most of the day about this topic, and things in the house didn't get done. On top of it all being on the system for finances " that makes things worse" worrying about the winter and how we are going to get by, all because of the chain reaction to what my father manipulated and brainwashed me and the effects of flashbacks and personality changes " Jim had paid the price" his shoulder was injured, now he doesn't work and hasn't been for a while now. He didn't ask to come into a family that was messed up, all he knew was that he loved me. " My father at one time had even told me to get a gun and shoot Jim on site! I told the police what my father said, they did nothing! I don't understand....all I know is that Jim use to provide for this family and took home a good pay, he always took good care of us....it is hard for him to see that he can't do that now....but I reassure him that his shoulder will get better, that they will find out what is wrong, they already operated on him in 2005 but something went wrong after the surgery. I feel guilty for this every day, even though he says to me it's not my fault, that it's because of my dad and the control he had over me....but It still hurts me to see him hurting. Life has sure given us many challenges and surviving them is very difficult. I want to charge my father for rape and what he did to me, but I don't know if I am strong enough for this. Sometimes I feel that the hurt within is to much for surviving in life. The pain of the priests and what they have done to me is just the start for me and I am not sure if I can except that. Right now at this moment I feel ....I feel very sad....I have tears now and I don't know why? It's not happening to me their not abusing me now, why do I feel like this, I don't understand. I wish I could stand on a huge platform where everyone in Cornwall can hear me, and TELL everyone who and what has happened to me. I want to say that Cornwall has taken Brigette away, they messed her up bad...her insides are splattered everywhere....I can't stop crying right now...I have to stop. Sorry

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Care2 News Network: News I Submitted

Care2 News Network: News I Submitted

Sunday, September 14, 2008

So Happy

I would like to thank everyone so far for signing the petition!! If you go t0 the petition you will see "click here to see the petition" when you click it you will see what our petition is about and also you can see the comments left there by people who wanted to express their voice in this matter, it is at the bottom of the page. It's amazing how many people do care " and from all walks of life" I just wish I could give everyone a great big HUG "smile" I thought that this Inquiry would have helped me, they didn't (and for many reasons) " but YOU did, by signing this petition you have shown me that you are here for me and that you care, you care for the children and the adult survivors, you gave a voice to the ones that can't, you are a hero! You know, I went to places in the last 2 days to sign petitions that I believed in, even my daughter sat beside me and picked some of the petitions that she wanted me to sign for, I felt soooo good because I knew that I was contributing my voice, for the things that I believe in. That is all it takes, CARING, if everyone could do that, then what would this world be like.
If you choose not to leave your name, that is OK, because your voice is still heard even when your name is not added ( we can still hear you ) "smiles" that is why they have given us "anonymous" so we can choose.

I hope that this site will help you or someone you know, if there is anything that you would like added here or some idea's that you might have for the site, please let me know.

I figured it out!!

Hello:) I just figured it out how to add my favorite websites, so if you have a website that can help adult survivors of sexual abuse, maybe some hope or a place to relax or insight on sexual abuse, or maybe just a place to sit and have coffee and talk, please email me your website and I will add it in here:) Have a fantastic day! or a little less stressful day:)

Just a note


I've looked here on the web and noticed that there is a lot of reading here, I do hope you can read some, but I don't want you to miss out on the links at the bottom of this page nor some fun stuff in here which is hard to believe:) but there is some. So, if you don't know this, I would like to tell you that if you left click and hold the mouse on the right bar, you can slide down the page faster:) just a little note so that you don't miss the other things:)

True Friends

Hello:) I would like to tell everyone that there is a place in here that I found, where people have a true heart and honestly care. To have friends is an important part of healing. I have had a hard time in finding true friends and all I can say is that if you go to http://thewozone.com/ Adrianna the founder and Lucy her mom, will make you feel right at home:) I have met some wonderful people there, it's the first time surfing the net ( and I have done a lot of surfing ) that I have truly felt a feeling of Welcome. People there have wonderful websites and insights to a lot of important issues. If I can figure out how to put my favorite websites on here in a list, I will do this, because healing is what I and many victims ( survivors:) need to do and to find places of healing, is a journey to happiness.

P.S I hope that you will consider if you haven't already done so:) to please sign our petition so I know that you want to help stop the secret in Cornwall and let the truth be known that historical sexual abuse did happen in this town and that your here listening and want to share your voice in helping the children of sexual abuse.

Thank you, you are helping the victims that have a hard time, to let their voices out.
The more voices, the more people will hear us!

The Chain of Command

Hi, I would like to comment on the topic to the right about how the Cornwall Police should have turned over evidence of sexual abuse, to C.A.S. Now I'm confused. Perry Dunlop went against the police and betrayed their trust in giving this statement to the proper official of the C.A.S. this is what the police claimed was Perry's great wrong doing and did not respect their chain of command. It appears that if he would have followed the chain of command, C.A.S would never have received this statement at all. So my question is, did Perry follow protocol in delivering this statement to the man who said it should have by law, been delivered to him by the police OR are the police still saying he did the wrong thing by upholding the law? The biggest question is, are there actually laws or do they recite what is the most convenient for the matter at hand?


By: RIDDICK

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Friendship

Hello, I am feeling a little better now:) I guess sometimes you have to think that tomorrow may bring a better day. I have been speaking with a good friend of mine that I haven't spoke to in many years. It is very nice to know that we can talk again that family won't interrupt our friendship this time. We just missed so much in our lives. Our kids growing up is one huge one, I didn't know how her kids were doing and she didn't know about mine. It's unfortunate that some other family members had to pay the price for a single man who disrupted so many lives. But now I have the chance to bring back a friend and it sure feels nice. It certainly made me feel like I got old fast:) time is passing by. Well it is late and it's time for my day to finish. Hope I will be back tomorrow for more chatting:)

Friday, September 12, 2008

Tired of the fight

Hello, it's been a while since I've been here. My weeks have been very difficult to go through. I'm living day to day, my body moves but my mind is everywhere. I guess I can call myself the "weeping willow" I haven't yet figured out how to control the memories of my past. I think since the testifying in the Inquiry many identities have scattered. Yesterday I saw many writings that I had done from the past that I didn't know of. Horrendous things that made my stomach sick. There are so many things rushing through my mind. There doesn't seem to be any justice anywhere and I don't know what to do about that. Not that I want revenge but I want people to hear, hear the names, protect their children. I feel sometimes that there is nothing I can do, and that I am alone with this pain. My husband helps me and so does my daughter but I am tired of the fight, I am tired of my daughter seeing me cry so many times, just like my son's did when they were young. I am tired of physically feeling ill. I don't understand myself sometimes nor why the days are missing, why I wasn't there. Where does a scared and saddened child go within an adult body? I keep saying to myself that I must stay away from the computer and stop following the Inquiry, but something keeps me there, it's like I want them to hear me, I want them to know that historical sexual abuse did happen, that it was being covered up. That I was asking for help and know one heard me. My mother heard me and did nothing. The police in Cornwall heard me and told me not to go through with the charging. People may think I'm crazy because of this dissociative Identity Disorder but know one calls my perpetrators monsters or punishes them. Yet I punish myself because of their teachings. I don't know....I am lost...right now I don't even feel myself, everything is just an echo. Like in the movie "back draft" at the end he said, " I'm tired of hearing the sirens" where is the warm music within me? Today I can say was a- write off, another wasted day. I know God gives us a brand new day and we should be happy about that, but when the pain hurts so much.....it's like I feel like telling him, " not today God" not today.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

The Force of Life

A child yet to be born,

safe in a mothers womb,

promises of life of springtime,

it comes forth like the bloom.


The mother's warm smile,

And the father's glowing pride,

they hold their precious miracle,

between them, at their side.


Now in their hands, holds the babies future

A life that was given, for them to choose,

They can raise the baby in God's eyes

or turn away and three loose


The closeness of family and friends,

the love of as many as can be,

the chance of the child to find happiness,

has now multiplied by three.


So remember the more love in your childs life,

the more caring that the child will feel,

the happier the memories all will be,

the less times the child needs to heal.


One child waits without others caring,

just the mother, baby and dad,

think how much easier life would have been,

if all families got along- glad.


We waist to much time on petty things,

and the wrong people usually pay,

the innocent don't know, what's going wrong,

cause they forgive in such an easy way.









Tuesday, September 9, 2008

The Children's Aid Raised Me, Who Raised Them?

Hello to our READERS; Someone has asked me if they could share a part of their life's experiences in the hands of Children's Aid to a home of horror and back again. They wanted to be kept anonymous in fear of retribution from the agency and or police. So in respect, I will honor that, and here is the told story.



I was ward of C.A.S until I was adopted at about 16 months old, to an angel of a mother, a devil of a father and the direct spawn of satin (my adopted brother ). He was quite a bit older than me and used his greater size in every situation he could. Let me just describe to you a typical evening meal. My mother, who could hardly walk, due to medical reasons early in her life, would slave away and make, as usual, a nice evening meal. My brother, ( well on his way to the 320 pounder that he is now ) was always the first at the table. "Can't you clean this f***en silverware any better, you porker!" My 115lb, 5'1 mother would hurry over as best she could to clean or replace his already spotless silverware. I would be sitting down by now getting silently angry at my brother. When my- half of a man adopted father, would come in sit down in the middle of this one sided abusive argument that happened every evening; I was about 7 or 8 when my brother was maybe 13, my brother would then demand a clean plate after my mother served him and at the same time scream about why his drink wasn't in front of him-now! She would quickly pour his drink and of course why the f*** isn't his glass clean, ( it was always spotless ) all the while my father would be waiting for a reaction from me. Finally he would say something that would force me to come to my mothers defence, usually about the time he was screaming that something was to hot or cold. I would say something like "leave her alone," or " get it yourself," then usually something would come flying my way while he would be yelling how I always ruin every meal with my attitude while he would be shaking his fists. I would ask him "how could you let him (my brother) talk to Mom like that" and all he heard was a child speaking, when he should be listening. That would be good for about 10 hits with the buckle of his belt and 5 or 6 punches in the head. Sometimes less sometimes more, as long as he drew blood, and it seemed it always had to be blood from my ear. It would keep happening to, if I was unable to finish my meal without a tear, especially not a whimper. I can tell you one thing, he sure taught me how to take a shit kicking. Then I would help my mom clear off the table and then manage to escape for a few hours of -sane time, but every night I would have to sleep in the same room as the guy who had every- issue of those old detective books, where it always showed some horrifically tortured woman with just as twisted a story line- as the ones that read them. He had hand cuffs, whips, knives and later on guns and any other torturous thing imaginable. He was very happy to show them and more then happy to use them. I can't go on about this any more, I want to jump to the day the first day actually, my father couldn't win his-evening take out, his days frustration- grudge match. I don't know how many days it took from that point to return me from whence I came, but you could count on your fingers the days before I again became a ward of the C.A.S . I remember thinking finally I can try to build a life of normalcy. Can you imagine being happy you are being returned to an agency? Believe me, it was a very short lived joy. Of course my father had to never let the truth out so I was labeled. My first group home within hrs. the married couple running the home, were cheering on this 17 yrs old to kill me with a pitch fork, I was 11! Since children's Aid were responsible for my safe being, I have no memories, EVER, of being safe. All I can say is my time being adopted just warmed me up for the deep scarring abuse. I would need an encyclopedia volume for each year of my life, so I'll just end by saying numerous-GROPE homes ( not a typo ), four or five stints in detention, a couple of training schools, camp dare, a couple of foster homes, 3 years in jail from the county bucket to the most maximum security reformatory in Canada - Millbrook. When I got out, I said to myself, I'm going to take my life back - at 19 yrs old. I've still got a bad ass name, most cops still pull out their guns when they pull me over, but it's all from a reputation they gave me just because I wouldn't play their game. I'm exhausted, I must stop writing now, but believe me, the stories end has not been written yet!

P.S I went through a false allegation with children's Aid several years ago. They were proved wrong, I was told there is nothing I can do to them, they are classified as "beyond reproach"!!!

They only care for the children, so they can never be held responsible for any outcome!!!
Can you believe that?

By: Anonymous
The end is never here, and the finish is never clear!

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

UPSET!


Today I am very UPSET. I am listening to the Cornwall Public Inquiry today, I just can't believe as a victim myself from Cornwall, how Bishop Paul-Andre Durocher can say that he doesn't feel responsible if a priest would do something wrong to a person! What is that? I can only say that his or Bishop LaRocque's apology means NOTHING! How can it mean anything if he doesn't feel he needs to take responsibility for the actions of a priests wrong doing. Then everything that the Bishop's said or will say will mean that they are sorry not for what the priests did to the victims but that they are sorry they got caught and that next time they will watch their step and make sure that the next time they cover it up better!!!!! That is MY strong opinion!!! It sadness me very much for all the victims of Cornwall that they have to listen to all this garbage that the Bishop's and the priests have said in testifying. As a victim myself I am angry!! They are out and out lying and I am sitting here and can do nothing! Like any other profession they just cover each others actions! I have read my bible when I was young and went to church and I believe in God and know God as LOVE, when I heard testimony today, I didn't see a Bishop there representing GOD. I have more to say on this subject but I have to go right now, but I will be back soon, until then, bye for now.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Forgiveness Doesn't Mean Forgetting


Wow, those are big words.......I was at the beach this weekend and I could see the kids playing and watching how people are enjoying their time with their families and just allowing themselves to have fun. No worries, not a single thing entering their minds but fun, I can't imagine them laughing or splashing, seadooing, boating or anything else and pretending, it was just sure pleasure. I said to Jim, " you know, some people are sad or angry and sit at home waiting for something good in their life to come, yet they can do this, they can find something good to do or something that could give them pleasure". Even myself their are times that I have waited for the time to just past me by, even to the point of watching the time in seconds wishing it would go faster. I don't know what I was waiting for....at some point in my life not to far past, I felt that I didn't deserve a happy life, I felt that if I had a bit of laughter that in some way I had to punish myself, it was what I grew up in, what I was programmed to feel. I was taught that I come last, that women were to serve, that the women's job was to keep everyone happy at what ever expense. I never spent things on myself nor did I ever eat before anyone else, if there were left overs then I would eat. To relax and pamper myself was something I could only imagine, I could never do this...I felt guilty..it was (time) taken away from someone else. It's amazing how important it is to show and teach your children that they are very important, that they must know and feel that it's OK to love and enjoy things for themselves, that they are #1, that they are intelligent, that their opinion counts. Children are little people who eventually turn out to be BETTER then us, and that is what every parent should want for their children. I guess in some way for me I feel like it's time, my time, I give myself permission to enjoy my life and if I do then I can be happier and by being happier it will reflect more onto my children and to Jim ( my husband ) I know that there will be times that the past will come up again but I can see it in a different way. When people say, " get on with your life, let it go, forget the past, put it behind you", this upsets me because it's something that effects me when I am not expecting it. I would love to let go the past and enjoy everything around me, who wouldn't want that,but what some people don't understand is that if something repeatedly keeps coming back over and over again and effects your day to day life, well it has to be dealt with, you need to talk about it, feel it, except it THEN yes, you can continue on. I can now teach myself knew things and give myself healthy affirmations and know that what happened in the past is not going to happen to me again. Every step I take in my every day life, like allowing myself to have fun ( end nothing bad happens from it ) or speaking up for myself ( end nothing bad happens from it ) or enjoying a nice bath ( and nothing bad happens from it ) and believe me many bad things happened from taking a bath when I was little. All these little steps I take will help me to know and grow into someone I always wanted to be ( MYSELF) I guess that is what they call, baby steps:) It's like being reprogrammed, taking out a corrupt disc and replacing it with a more intelligent and sophisticated disc but you always keep the backup disc so you can correct anything or refer back to what was corruption and know and change what was taught. One big thing that I was thinking about while I was at the beach was, if I were to forgive but not forget, would everything be OK? Knowing that the people out their that abused me may still be abusing other children is what I have a problem with, I can't let it go till I know that they won't do it to any other child ever again, and I want people to know their names so parents can keep their children away from them. I know that I can't stop other molesters out their but I can try to stop the people who molested me. I know I must be rambling on here, I needed to talk as you can see:)
To say if I will forgive....who knows but me:) in time, my time:)
Time to say goodnight, tomorrows another day of learning:) Thanks for stopping by:)

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Perry Dunlop, How You Must Feel

Several guilty people walk around enjoying all the rights and freedoms we all take for granted. All the while an innocent man is incarcerated, stripped of all the rights and freedoms our constitution plainly states all innocent man should have. I must have missed the news release that proclaimed caring for your fellow man a crime. Perry Dunlop must feel he is in the twilight zone where black is white, good is bad and justice needless to say becomes great injustices. People he thought were friends turn out to be enemies. The ones he thought he could trust use that same trust against him. Ones that swore to uphold the law wind up holding up the law. He went beyond the call of duty to solve cases and prevent crimes against children. Anywhere else in the world but Cornwall they would be honouring such a man but in Cornwall it is obvious this could reveal secrets that I believe generations have wished to keep. This inquiry has just raised more questions and implicated more people than I ever believed could be involved. We have personal knowledge of court documents that were in the lawyers possession at the time of questioning that proved beyond any doubt certain people were lying and even with my wife emailing them and informing lawyers of the facts in them, still, the evidence was not brought up.
I keep wishing there was something I could do to help my wife heal from her past and on a broader scale help Mr. Dunlop return to his family where all honourable men deserve to be. One man can make a difference but how much louder is his voice when many others speak the same message. All my life I have had a bit of trouble when it came to being a team player but I have just come to realize the importance of working together. I realize there are many out there that are afraid to speak out because of the threats made to them in the past. There are safety in numbers though and the greater the numbers the safer the people. Now is the time to band together and become one resounding voice. Canadians are proud and in the past we have proven we are capable of great things and I refuse to believe that a great number of people would remain silent while we hear about us, our neighbours and every ones children being abuse. Now is the time to speak out, while this inquiry has every ones attention on Cornwall. Something can be done that could never be done before, make our children and their children, our grandchildren , safe. I can't think of any greater reward then reuniting an innocent man, who is only crime was to try to protect us, with his family and make all of our family's safe. It is truly our decision to do something good for future generations, not anyone else.

Think about it.....

RIDDICK ( Jim )

Monday, August 25, 2008

Perry Dunlop


Hello, I am needing some help in understanding why Perry Dunlop is in jail? To try and understand this is difficult for me because my father for ALL the things he did to me including raping me for many years and getting me pregnant and a lot of many other things he did to other children, when he was charged and convicted in CORNWALL ONTARIO, HE was just given a slap on the wrist and hardly spent any time in jail ( 2 weeks or less I think ). Then there is a man like Perry Dunlop that comes into the picture giving all his best to protect children and the victims of Cornwall and what does he get? JAIL, how is that fair?? Why is he even in there? If I had the money to help Perry I would go down there and tell people what my dad and Priests have done to me and say to them that it is not right for Perry to be where he is!! There IS corruption in Cornwall and I am not the only one saying this! I have seen, heard and felt a lot of what Perry is trying to explain. Again it falls on deaf ears!! Cornwall will not heal until someone like Perry or like all victims of Cornwall, stands up and says " YES there is corruption and things did happen and the system in CORNWALL did fail US. The people running the system in CORNWALL need to be replaced and new people brought in! Can us victims fight???Will we fight for the children?? Will we fight for the children of Cornwall to let them know that they can be protected and believed??? Perry is fighting for the victims, who is going to help him?? How much does his family have to go through again at the hands of Cornwall's doing!! It may have seem that Perry disrespected the court or commissioner by Perry's belief, BUT WHAT HAPPEN TO FREEDOM OF SPEECH OR HOW HE FELT ABOUT WHAT IS GOING ON!!! THIS INQUIRY IS EXACTLY THAT AN INQUIRY" NO ONE IS SUPPOSE TO GO TO JAIL IF THEY DON'T TESTIFY "IT'S AN INQUIRY"!!!! I am VERY sad at the fact that an innocent man goes to jail and a man like my father gets hardly a slap on the wrist and the priests get away with everything!! The Police of Cornwall.....well I have so much I can say as to what they have done to me and my family and how I heard the testifying, do you think they were telling the truth beyond a reasonable doubt??( They didn't have to I bet because they know this is only and INQUIRY, IT'S NOT A CRIMINAL COURT ) but wait a minute!!!!! Perry went to jail??? Please, if someone can leave me a comment and explain to me why Perry Dunlop is in jail I would be very happy to hear from you!! I need answers here and fast because I just don't get it!!! I feel like the man that could have protected me back then is Perry and he is the one in Jail!! Am I suppose to go through life thinking that there is justice and that there is people that care??? because I did at one time until the police and courts got into my life!! Why is that?? and I am talking about Cornwall!!!! So I will wait to see if ANYONE CAN EXPLAIN TO ME WHY PERRY IS IN JAIL.
I am upset today as you can see. I am sorry for this but I needed to let you know how I feel. I hope I don't go to jail for freedom of speech!
Talk with you later.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

To My Best Friend




I believe everyone has done at least one thing they are not very proud of. One of the disadvantages of being human I suppose. Just today I did something that falls into that category and I have to apologize to my best friend for it. We were dealt yet another blow that really made me lose my bearings. It affected me in such a way I lost all hope, and to all of us fighting this uphill battle, hope is just about all we have. I told my wife, " That's it, I will not put our daughter through anymore of this and I have to pull together what I have left of my life and focus on trying to get back some of what Cornwall has stolen from us." What they have cost us financially, physically,emotionally and spiritually, you can't put a price on but I have to at least try to recover from the brink of hell they have put us in. I can't believe I was so disheartened, I almost gave up on this fight and her. In other words they almost won. I don't know where she gets her strength since I've been fighting about 11 years, she has since she was about 4 years old. I can't believe I almost had her fight without me! I apologize so much to her with all of my heart. Just to tell you the kind of person she is, she understood and she apologized to us for putting us through all this but it's not her fault, it's the fault of the only ones who aren't paying any price. I have to say this is why I married her. When I elaborate on what the last straw was many people may find it hard to believe but many won't be surprised. It is yet another travesty of justice, but we were warned it would happen, we just didn't want to lose hope in the last thing we had put any and actually all our trust in.
Again, to my wife, I would go to the ends of the earth for you and I'm sorry for my moment of weakness. I love you! I'm saying this so all can see and hope we all know at times we all feel like giving up but I hope you all have someone in your life like my wife who has taught me more than she will ever know.
So much love to you my dear:

Your true love:

RIDDICK

Sunday, August 17, 2008

New Additions:)


Hi, I am in the process of learning how to put Gadgets in here:) As you can tell I like them:) I will be adding more. If there are suggestions that you have or would like to see on this blog, please let me know. If you have any questions for us, we will do our best and if we don't have the answer, we will find it:) Thank you for being with us:)

Health

Hello, today I want to talk about the subject health and how or if it is related to past memories or medical/physical conditions. I know that stress does lead to many physical symptoms as I am sure you know. I recall being in counselling with Blanche and I noticed that I had a lot of pelvic pain that just wouldn't go away. We started talking then all of a sudden a memory came through and all I can remember after that was my pelvic pain was gone. I looked at Blanche in disbelieve and said to her,"how can that be." The way she explained it to me was that the body physically remembers the trauma from the past and with the memory coming through I was able to connect the pain with the memory. Our body's are really complex but unique in many ways, it knows what you need and to listen to it is a good idea. I am not saying though that every medical problem you or I have is not always connected with memories. The tests that the doctor or doctors give us, reveals when something is visually wrong with our body's. I was diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure, Osteoarthritis, spinal stenos, a bulging disc in L4 L5, Pelvic Inflammatory disease and severe adhesion's. There are some days I can't walk or lift my left arm and I get severe pain in my jaw. When dealing with these problems it can be really hard emotionally because I am only 43. I want to live a happy life, so I have to believe that continuing listening to my body and mind is an important part of healing and ignoring or trying to forget my past will only result in further physical pain. So to sort this out is to recognize where it is coming from and continue to take more physical tests to rule out the visual findings and the rest will come from the past memories. It's confusing and sometimes frustrating but if I could survive the past then these things are what I call further tests of faith and the recognition that I am stronger then I lead myself to believe. So I guess what I am saying, is trust your body and mind, it knows what is good for you and what you need. "Who knows what's best for you, then yourself":) Have a great evening:) pamper yourself today, you deserve it!:)

Thursday, August 14, 2008

SURVIVED!!!

Hello:) It's been a while since I've been here. I missed talking with you, but this week has been a part of healing for me and a step to moving forward. I have opened up with many memories to some people from the Cornwall Public Inquiry. I hope from testifying that what I told them will help in understanding the sexual abuse that has happened in Cornwall and is happening still. I was upset that once again my family from Cornwall has tried again to stop me from talking and keeping the silence in but they have failed. They will no longer use guilt on me or try to make me feel like I'm crazy by how they treated me and my loved ones. I have already testified now and there is nothing they can do to hurt me now or my family. I felt some kind of freedom when I was finished and walked out of there and for the first time I felt and said to myself, "I'm safe, and I did the right thing, they can no longer threaten or hurt me, IT'S DONE!" Now I am moving forward and what ever I have to do I will do! I am no longer going to be afraid! No longer the silence eating away at me like a huge ulcer. The Priests that are out there that hurt me, "YOU WILL NO LONGER SCARE ME"!! I have nothing to be a shamed for nor do I need forgiveness from God. He loves me and knows what YOU ALL have done to me and he has given me the strength and courage along with a beautiful family to help me survive! If any of you priests that have hurt me and are reading this, I want to say that GOD is stronger then you, and he knows what you did. Justice will always be at the end and you will be there to. I believe that if justice doesn't come here on earth then God will be the one to judge and from what I was taught by you, he punishes the wicked with a firm hand! I want to say that you have had me punish myself for things I didn't do, you had me fear God for things I didn't do. I have now learned to trust and love myself and have faith that God knows what he is doing. He has given me hope and the courage to speak out and the love he showed me by giving me a family that has had and has the patience to love and understand me (my husband and children.) Now he will teach me how to enjoy this life that he has given me and what is here for me ( right in front of my eyes ) something I couldn't see before because of you.
To my readers Thank You for your time in allowing me to express my feelings to the people that have hurt me. I know this place is also for you, I want to be able to make this place a healing one. I hope I won't need to talk about or to the ones that hurt me anymore. I think that they have waisted enough time in my life that they are not worth talking about anymore.
So I will start the healing process for me by talking about hope and a new beginning. For now I'm going to say goodnight, tomorrow is another day:)

Friday, August 8, 2008

Healing

Hello:) Hi Philip:) Sorry it's been a while since I've been here. A few days I guess. Today I wanted to talk about healing. I was just laying down and was physically hurting, pretty much unable to get up, but I thought I had to get up to talk about healing. For me, I believe healing is like an open wound, when you pour an antiseptic over it, it hurts really bad but it's HEALING. You don't want it to hurt and you can't stand the pain but you know it's for your own good. After a while when you keep pouring the antiseptic over the cut it eventually stops to hurt and the healing takes place. Well, for memories I believe it's like that. You have to connect with the pain, talk about it, believe yourself that it happened, feel the pain, then accept it and know that it will never happen again, that you are SAFE.

I feel very exhausted, tired, ill, and emotionally beaten up tonight. Memories are still haunting me and I know that I have to deal with it. Sometimes I wonder, where and why are there so many memories, and when will it ever stop? You mentioned Philip that sometimes for you, doing things fun is good and helps to put the past away. You are right, sometimes it does help and you forget at the moment that your having fun and the pain goes away. For me this does happen but it can be anywhere, anytime when something or someone brings up something it can be anything, smell, sound, place, a look it just stops me dead no matter what I am doing. I fight within to forget the memory, bury it, make it go away, change the subject, I yell inside my head, "stop it! I don't want to hear it"!! but it returns and no matter how beautiful something was or how happy I was, it all goes away!! Sometimes because with therapy I can now talk within and say "just pick another time to talk, and we will deal with it, just not now" Sometimes that works but if within NEEDS to talk, there is NO return till it's out. I have no choice in the matter. My fun times at the park or the beach is now ruined ( and that's just because I saw a man with his daughter playing at the beach) it can be anywhere. But you know, I am still here and somehow what ever I am doing is working to keep me alive.

My daughter just came in here and said, "Mom I thought you weren't going to write about Cornwall for a while"? Then she typed in here, "I love you mom and be careful". I told her that I couldn't put that in here because you would think I was talking about my Mom. But I told my daughter she could put that in here if I would explain it to you, and I have:)

My Daughter is asking me now to take a break so I can spend time with her. Guess what?:) Time to play with her. I will be back tomorrow I hope:) Have a goodnight and a well deserved sleep:)

Your Friend,


Brigette

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

My Day, and Who's Who

Hi, Glad you stopped in:) Just thought I would explain who is who writing the blogs, for some of you who don't know. trthbhrd1 is me (Brigette) and RIDDICK is (Jim) my husband:) that is all on that subject:) Today was a busy day for me, and part of that was really enjoying the beach today with the family:) It's nice to smell the air from the water and seeing everyone taking the time with their families to enjoy, what was given to us. Sometimes you have to take breaks away from the troubles in your life and what better way then to acknowledge the surroundings that is nature:) Tonight I am tired, so if you would like to wonder around and listen to music or just read, please do so:) Have a goodnight:)

To Philip And Other Readers

Hello Philip:) I am happy to see you here:) I am sorry that my website has become confused. You are right, there is some sort of battle going on. I want this site to be a place for healing and all the truth to come out. I will do my best to try an sort this out for you:) I would like to say that at the bottom of the website there are newspaper articles of a man charged with sexual acts against his daughter, that daughter is me, Brigette, please to meet you Philip:) In the beginning when I first started the website, I had stumbled into a place called Youtube ( maybe you heard about it?) for some reason, out of no where, there was my brother, Marc Elvis Rivette. I haven't seen him for 9 years, but there he was singing Elvis songs on the net. I first started leaving comments on his site, but I didn't want him to know who I was at first because ( in a short version for now ) my family from Cornwall ( father, mother, and siblings ) excluding my brother, have tried desperately to STOP me in anyway they could "TO LET THE TRUTH OUT" ( I'm not screaming this out at you:) I'm trying to let you know the importance of that statement:)
My father started molesting me from the age of 4 then first raped me when I was 6 and continued till the age of 15, he stopped the raping but continued the molestation till I was 21 (when I left Cornwall.) Getting back to how the family from Cornwall entered the site:) When I left a comment on my brothers site, he wrote back, asking me to tell him who I was, I didn't want him to know for the reason above. I wrote back to him to trust his instincts. Then I suppose he knew who I was. There is a link on Youtube on my site there, where he could link to this site. I can only say that he told my sister's ( which surprised me because I told my husband, I know Marc won't tell them, because he knows what they will do to me) but I was wrong and he did tell them, which leads us to this confusion ( but not surprising to us ) The first comment from the family, started August 2 under " I believe!" and if you follow from there, you will see when my family from Cornwall started talking to me. Tammy is my youngest sister and Ginette is my oldest sister.
If you notice the most upsetting one that Tammy started on, was under "Love Unconditionally" end it goes from there. When she started to put in names mentioning my husband Jim, both my husband and I thought we might as well put in my dad's charging ( the article down below this site ) names were brought into the site so I put the article in. Now THEY are in a panic because I revealed them or should I say the MOLESTER my father, Raymond Rivette. They will protect him at any cost! Including my mother telling me, I would take a bunch of pills and kill myself! And I am sure if you understand the control and power, manipulation and brainwashing, you know how they can force you to do things. You have read the whole site so I am sure you know of some of the things that has happened to us, and that is just a small amount that they have done. I hope I am explaining this right and the confusion is starting to clear up? Last night when I wrote in here, before bed I decided to check for comments and not to my surprise, Tammy decided to write to us again, but if you notice it's with desperation and fear. This time she is not using GOD BLESS nor her sweat demeanor. As you know from reading in here, Jim has told you of how THEY have put him through unbelievable things to get HIM OUT of the picture so that THEY can continue to control THEIR POWER over me. Jim is an HONEST, LOVING, TRUTHFUL AND STRAIGHT TO THE POINT, PERSON. HE IS A LOVING HUSBAND AND FATHER. He has put up with so much from Ginette, Tammy, my mother and father!!!! He has only told you not even half the things that THEY have done to him!!! I still don't know why he is still with me! I am ASHAMED OF MY FAMILY from Cornwall, I am embarrassed that I come from them! My mother at one time even told me "TO SEND MY BOYS AWAY BECAUSE THEY ARE TO MUCH TROUBLE!!! WHAT KIND OF MOTHER WOULD TELL YOU TO GET RID OF YOUR CHILDREN!!! WHAT KIND OF MOTHER WOULD TAKE YOU TO GET AN ABORTION AND KNOW IT WAS MY DAD'S AND NOT CARE IF I WAS BLEEDING TO DEATH!! I apologize I am getting upset here. As you know, talking can lead to more pain and memories, but this is a place of healing. I am not sure if I made things any clearer for you? but if there is anything that you would like to know, then I will do my best to answer it Philip. I do hope that you comming here today will help you in some way because I want to let you know that I lived in Cornwall till I was 21 and Cornwall has taken my life! and I am trying to get it back ( not like I really had it in the first place ) So, all I can say is that the family in Cornwall will SAY and do ANYTHING to PROTECT RAYMOND RIVETTE.
Philip, if there are idea's that you may have that you think might help in the healing on this site, please don't hesitate to let us know:) and if you want, you can express yourself freely in here, I might add, there are protecters of molesters who are on this site and may try and belittle you, but as you know Philip, WE CAN SPEAK LOUDER THEN THEM, "IN TRUTH"!So, go ahead if you are ready:) if you are not ready, or would like to sit down and have a cup of tea or coffee, you are most welcomed:) Thank you for coming:)

Monday, August 4, 2008

Enjoying my music tonight

Hello:) Well it's been a long day today, but I have managed to cut grass, pull out weeds, and play P2 with my daughter, rent a movie so her and her friend could eat popcorn and hang out:) and as you may know, did some writing in here also. I am happy to have company, thank you for coming:) Tonight I chose to pick some music out that reminded me of my past, answering my family from Cornwall and not speaking to my youngest sister since 2001, has given me the need to listen to music and maybe letting out some feelings within. I believe sometimes that when you can't express yourself by talking to someone, then listening to music and picking the songs are helping you express how you feel. When no one is around, you can even sing real loud to get that feeling out:) Youtube is the perfect place to find any type of song, movies, video's or just about anything:) You know, I would just like to blurt out that " I am in love with my husband":) just thought I would say that:) if he heard this he would of said, " are you being sapping again:):)" this just reminded me of the song " the rose" lately in the past 3 days while I'm in the car I shout out that part where it says " and you say that love is only for the lucky and the strong, just remember in the winter far beneath the bitter snow...lies the seed that with the sun's love in the spring becomes a rose" that is such a powerful song. It's at the top of this page if you wanted to listen to it while your here:) What songs do you like? Have you ever sang out loud to feel your feelings? It's really healthy I believe:) just as I'm talking with you, I can hear my daughter giggling with her friend, it's late for her but I guess when a friend is over you just want to put in as much time as possible before they leave:) but I must let her know it's really late and that if she's not sleeping soon tomorrow she won't be in the best of moods:) I'm sure you can relate to that:) I guess this is my cue to say goodnight, tomorrow is another day. A challenge, a lesson or maybe just a happy free ride:) Goodnight:)

I Feel My Wife's Pain, I've Experienced Your Family Circle

I know you were always told you should have been an actress, the way you are so melodramatic and believe me, I can see how your demeanor can change for a crowd. Just showing how your family can be so deceptive and twist things. You should let everyone reading know how this stupid phone bill came to be. After your whole family badgered my wife for wks while I was at work trying to make money to recover from the last time you had any involvement with her, back then she was easily led by your brainwashing techniques and constant badgering and somehow you convinced her I was your dad. I know it sounds really out there but those of you from Cornwall know all about the mind control. Your father convinced her to attack me in the dark and she told me since your father said to get me where it hurts, make is so he can't work. I had my hands up in the air trying to make heads or tails over what she was saying when she grabbed my arm and pulled on it, like you would snap a towel. ( sound familiar ) This did extensive damage requiring surgery but that's another story. She was told to immediately, phone the police and report assaults and death threats. With the zero tolerance law they have now about domestic violence, I was immediately arrested. While I was unable to see her or my daughter, you phoned every day trying to talk her into moving back to Cornwall, where daddy could control her and continue to keep the secrets in the family. When she made up her mind not to go, your dad told her to get a gun and shoot me. Your father said he would come down to do it but what good would he be to her in jail! At any rate, it was at this point that she was told to cancel my phone and to put it in your name, so I couldn't find her, but if I was going to make matters worse I think I would have checked listings of your family if I was indeed trying to intimidate her don't you think? And by putting the phone bill in your name, you were able to keep track of who she was talking to. When you found out who she was talking to, you decided to cancel her long distance. You told her to get long distance calling cards for her to contact you. I tell ya, lives with you people are just like soap opera's and the extent that you all do to try and keep her silent through out all those years is just incredible . Your family is still all sticking together despite what you are trying to say here. Even what you are doing now, trying to make her feel guilty or dismiss the things that she is trying to saying to you, and your trying hard to let the readers know that she is heartless and uncaring, is totally ridiculous. Just to let you know one point of your credibility, when I went down to Cornwall that one time to rescue my daughter, your sister and her two sons, when we got out of there, your sister received a phone call about the rent on a place she had rented. It turns out that you kept the place for three months we didn't know about, so you could have your extramarital ( the man incident ) in a quiet and discreet place. We were left with a 3 month rent collection notice. Nice sister eh! And that is just one of the usual crap we deal with because of your family, actually that's tame compared to what we usually deal with. I'm not going to go on and on about other things because that's what you want me to do, I don't play your head games, I just tell it like it is, ( the truth) I just wanted to let you know what a self proclaimed angel you are.
Just one more thing though, you are always talking about how sick you are, the only diagnosis that you had was a hypochondriac, always trying to make people feel bad for you and your health. I don't believe any of you care, so I won't tell you how my wife's health is but I can say with some certainty, you are all in better health then her. As for the message board you are referring to that's pretty odd that all the messages are from the same computer, hummm, not trying to lie and put on another show are you? You all made a choice to stay with and defend a child molester that did this and is still doing this to your family. You tried to get my wife to kill herself repeatedly, tried to make her feel crazy, made false reports to OPP and CAS. I have always wished you could have all gotten together as a family ( siblings) I had always wished that for my wife because she needed you all, but going through the pain with my wife and seeing what you all have done to her, I can only believe that you are all not healthy for her in her healing. So if you wish to stand with the molester and stay in denial, then we choose ( and I asked my wife this ) not to allow anymore contact, (comments back and forth), because it is for the safety of my wife and this site is for healing only.

By: RIDDICK

To My Youngest Sibling

First to the readers, I apologize because my family from Cornwall has contacted me through the comments, and coming from a incestuous family, there is a healing process happening before your eyes. I did not and will not hide any conversation that is taking place in here because I want people to know the truth. That is what this website is all about. No more denial or silence.
So please bare with us.
To my Youngest Sibling: If you notice ALL comments that you are pertaining to, are under "I found the family comment writer" ( that is you ) You are mentioning that the readers are even saying that " it's hurtful and painful to hear you talk about us this way" go back and read what you said. Please again, do not underestimate my intelligence nor the readers. Notice the time period and so on. It's amazing to what lengths you have ALL done to me to make me feel guilty or to try and silence me. I had not known for sure you were reading my website until you left a comment with names added. It was not until I had put dad's charged newspaper article at the bottom of this site that you have desperately tried to make me feel guilty (again) there is now 4 comments under the article of the family comment writer (you).
I am not judging you, but only trying to help you understand that denial will only continue to hurt you and cause you mental and physical pain. Until you are able to HEAR YOUR OWN TRUTH, then you will always live in your own personal jail that DAD HAS PUT YOU IN.
You said, I had no sadness for my other sister, " have you not read that I pity her the most?" And sadness for you I feel, all these writings to you were to help you in knowing the truth and hearing the truth ( you have a hard time with this because you are in denial )
Judgement day will come, my sister, and YOU and I WILL BE IN HEAVEN BECAUSE WE NEVER DID ANYTHING WRONG, there is no guilt nor shame that we will bring with us because it IS DAD WHO SHOULD CARRY THE GUILT AND THE SHAME!
As for what you did for me, you did just now in your comments received recognition by telling the readers what you did for me ( that is what I meant by recognition )
As for your marriage ( mentioned again ) I didn't say your marriage was deliberately because of you. I said, "the TRUTH had to come out" and it did. You need to forgive yourself and know WHERE and WHEN the RAPE happened. In my opinion, you blamed this man in thinking what he did is what OUR DAD DID! I did the same thing to my now called husband. Dad brainwashed, manipulated, and trained both of us into believing that ALL men are bad EXCEPT for HIM. We were MADE to feel GUILTY if we enjoyed or cared for another man! When you were meeting this man and was feeling the need "as you had put it to me at the time" that was the training that DAD manipulated into you. That is why YOU went to DAD and told him EVERYTHING ABOUT YOUR PERSONAL INTIMACY WITH THIS MAN! Could you not question this now, as to why you did? You felt the need to tell him, why is that? Thinking about that alone, makes me sick to my stomach, even knowing what he did to you and me. He ran your life and still is. Until you finally start to listen to YOURSELF and BELIEVE in YOURSELF then you will always have mental and physical pain. I still have my mental and physical pain because I still have Identities that I still have to connect with from the pain of priests and uncles and some handicapped person who has done sexual things. If you have continued reading then you would have understood this. As for the last comment " Bashing each other ( I can only assume it's mom ) IT'S CALLED A HEALING PROCESS IN A FAMILY THAT CAME FROM INCEST! As for my children, they know the truth and have seen my pain and know why I have started this website, ( to bring out the truth and maybe save one more child ) I have STOPPED THE INCESTUOUS FAMILY CYCLE BY CHARGING DAD, AND MY CHILDREN'S GENERATION WILL BE A HEALTHY ONE!! So to continue MY HEALING, I will continue to write what is needed in hopes my readers will know, see, learn or feel in relation to me and their sexual abuse and or their family issues. Or to the readers who have not been through sexual abuse and or incest, they can hear what it is like for us victims and or survivors!

I Found The Family Comment Writer, My Youngest Sister

I was about to sign off when I checked the comments before bed, and yes, my youngest sister is the one writing to me. I just read it and I need to comment myself! To my youngest sister: Mom taught us the word "FORGIVENESS" over and over and over again! And why is that ( my youngest sister?)Why do you think she kept saying that to us?? You can figure that one out by yourself. You commented about our older sister and how she took a stroke (guilt) and I have damaged her for life! Well my dear, she has NOT told you the TRUTH!! You have no idea what she did to ME when she came down to see me. What do I have to loose to tell you the truth? NOTHING! I have never lied in my life to you! She came down with some stranger, telling me that this person can heal me! They took me up in the bathroom, just the two of them, I was sitting curled up on the floor!! They whispered in my ear " that you, her and my brother were in ME and that I DIDN'T EXIST!!!!! They threatened MY FAMILY!!! THAT IF I WENT THROUGH WITH THE INQUIRY, THAT THEY COME IN TWO AND WOULD KILL MY FAMILY!!!!! When they left, I TOOK AN OVERDOSE AND ENDED UP IN THE HOSPITAL, NOT KNOWING WHERE I WAS, I ALMOST DIED THAT NIGHT!!!! YOUR SISTER ALMOST TOOK MY LIFE!!!!! BUT DOES THAT MATTER TO YOU????IF she is crying to much and is sick, it is because of HER GUILT that she is feeling that way! And you say you believe me and that you love me, you don't know what that means, if you had, you would of stood by me in court when I was charging dad, instead you wrote a nice little article in the paper after I charged dad, and said how wonderful he was as a father!!!!! Do you remember that??? You talk about dad having a defibrillator and something to do with his heart? (you know that just reminds me of the Inquiry when most of the perpetrators and people of importantance that could help the victims, are backing out, because they are to sick to testify) Was that piece about dad put in here because I put the article on here? Anyway, I am not a cruel person and to say I don't care about dad's heart ( may God forgive me ) I don't care! Mom took me to see the doctor when I was only 14, he scraped and tore out a baby out of me and it WAS DAD'S!!! And do you know that MOM knew and that when I was almost bleeding to death (and she just dropped me at home to be alone)all she could say on the phone was " just go take a bath, I hemorrhaged before, put your feet up!!"
Then later she told me " its all for the best you know, that child would have turned out retarded!!!! Can you imagine that!!! SO A HEART WAS RIPPED OUT OF ME, SO DON'T TELL ME HOW DADS HEART IS DOING!!!!
You say you choose to live the way you do, forgiving dad, well go right ahead. One day will come when your denial will eat at you and your stomach will turn and you will have nightmares and you won't be able to go anywhere because you can't talk to people without breaking down, you will wake up screaming and not know why, you will have many things happen to you that your body will tell you........who knows maybe he didn't do to much to you...I charged him just before you moved out. Maybe he didn't do the things to you like he did to me. And as for your wedding HE DIDN'T WANT ME TO COME!!!! DID HE NOT TELL YOU THIS??? As for your marriage, the truth had to come out, you had enough of a hard time keeping a lie in. I just told the truth and again I get blamed. Yes, you did help me with money a couple of times when I wasn't able to work because of my past and times were hard for me. But you see family does that for each other BUT we were not a family I guess because good families don't bring it up and through it in their faces that they helped out! They do it with discretion, and they don't look for recognition.
My youngest sister, you have a lot to learn. I have been going for counseling for over 15 years now, and lately it's been once a week for 4 years, so I know what I am talking about. My mind is OK. I may have Identities and I am not a shamed because that is what has kept me going. I love who I am and I know I still have to work on things and it will take more time, but you my dear are just beginning.
Dad choose that family life for us. He tore us apart and YOU followed HIM. One day you won't be in denial anymore and you will see. And for the first time in MY LIFE I AM FREE! I am going forward in what I need to do, and you say "we are there for each other" well, we will see again who is there for each other.

A Surprize Attack

Well it's morning time now again, it's 1:20am, guess I can't sleep.
I woke up Sunday morning and my husband asked me if we were
going to church. I said yes, I'll get ready. I knew that it was good for
my family to go. We arrived at church, everything was OK until the
pastor started mentioning and talking about that big red chair. He told
us that the chair was for the Bishop, the chair the Bishop sits in, and how
others kneel and stuff. Well needless to say I didn't last very long. After
church the pastor said they were serving coffee down stairs, my husband
looked at me and said, "there is something wrong, your eyes look glossy,
you almost look drunk. I told him my inside wasn't feeling so good. ( I wasn't
drunk, I don't drink) It was an identity that was out. I went and sat in the
car and I told my husband and daughter to go inside and mingle with the
others, I told him I would be alright. When he left, (I think) the scratching
at my leg started, it kept going on and on, I wasn't able to stop it. It was like
someone was trying to make a point. I believe it was the teachings of the Catholic
church in Cornwall that taught us to punish ourselves when we feel we are
not listening to them. Some kind of ritual self punishment. I wish someone knew
what I was talking about or understand what I mean. But when my husband came
back to the car I guess it had to stop because I needed to drive. It's amazing how
my unit works. Maybe one day I can explain it to you...maybe after I figure it out:)
It was disappointing that I couldn't have been with my husband and daughter to
mingle, but I guess this is all part of healing and I have to except that. It is certainly
hard on my husband. You know, there are a huge amount of people with MPD or should
I say D.I.D that have an extreme hard time, to form a relationship with anyone.
You know this leg of mine burns like heck, a price I guess I pay for someone inside
who's trying to tell me something. I guess you will find out to when I know.
Well, my back is getting sore here, and I think it's finally time for bed.
It was nice talking and I hope to hear from you tomorrow.
Have a good day! Give a smile to someone and a smile will come your way:)

Sunday, August 3, 2008

The Bottom Of This Web Is One Of My Abusers, My Father

I had tried to keep my website anonymous, but a comment by my family from Cornwall left in here, one of our names and others to identify us. We tried to keep it anonymous for safety reasons, but someone choose to bring the names in. They have done to me what they have always done, FEAR to make me silent! As you see, I have grown stronger:) YOU, my readers are here having tea with us, we are here to talk and let the SILENCE OUT and NO ONE WILL STOP US FROM DOING THE RIGHT THING!

You Think You Know Me

I was going to say one thing for each of you, that you had confided in me about your abuse, at the hands of your father, but instead I will say that YOU ALL are an infection spreading and us being together ( my wife, my daughter and myself ) are the penicillin to rid her of your denials and or sickness. Everything on our site is true to our memories and feelings, and we haven't even gotten to most of what you've done. The newspaper article of your father's conviction will appear next and I hope when you read how imperative it is to keep his grandchildren from him, you will all remember how you LET YOUR OWN CHILDREN DOWN BY ALWAYS LETTING HIM HAVE THEM, TO BE RAISED BY HIM AS HE SEE'S FIT! I believe most of you are criminals and liars, and if you don't go against what daddy did, you've become daddy. Enjoy it! I am not saying a lot of what I want to say because I've said this to you before, but one last thing. You all hate me and believe I am the problem. You've told CAS and the Police that I am the problem, I can only suggest that it's because YOU want me out of the picture so you can continue to manipulate, and destroy the women that I love, only to keep her silent once again! The only people that consider me a problem would be the child molesters!
What does that make you?

By: RIDDICK

Were My Siblings There For Me

To my brother: We were two people living in a dysfunctional house together. You once walked pass a horrible nightmare, dad in bed with me...you saw and turned your face, " I know you, and I also know that you felt responsible, that you couldn't have stopped it, but I also know YOU were a CHILD yourself at the time. You never did want to hear what was going on, what dad was doing to us. I remember one time on Osborne when I wanted to tell you that I couldn't go in the house because dad was in there and things bad were going to happen, you told me you had to leave, that you had a hockey game to go to. I am not trying to hurt you nor blame you, and yes there were times I had hoped that you could have spoke to me about it. YOU had your reasons, you are a good man and you love your children. I pray for you and the pain you have suffered at the hands of dad. You were always good at the work you did, and I know that dad never thought that you were so good, but you know "dad couldn't have anyone better then him, at anything" and it's to bad, because a father should want their son or daughter to be better then them, that is what I wish for my kids. There is only one thing my brother that I would like to say in finishing this letter to you. In replace of the past, could you please read ALL of my website so that you will know what had happened to me? In doing this I will know that YOU have wanted to comfort me and talk with me about what had happened, and that is OK, that is healing.
To my youngest sister: I remember the time on Osborne when you and I fought, you had told me I slapped you, if I did "I am sorry" I don't remember playing much with you, but I do remember that you were always taught to look beautiful, that was a job that dad had given you, he made you feel that you were here on this earth to look pretty but stay quiet. He made you centre of attention, you were his trophy to show off. Unfortunately this type of being proud and the beauty was used for his plans and not the love of a genuine father. I can now understand the pressure that you had, HE implanted this in your mind. You couldn't even go to the corner store without putting your makeup on, if you had a bad hair day , you wouldn't go out. It is a shame that you had to feel this way about yourself, because there were prices that you paid for this kind of attention. It is nice to see your child smile, dance, sing and look pretty but NOT for the reason of exploitation! We were like two children trying to get to know one another, and it would have came naturally if it wasn't for a father who felt his children were possessions and robots. When a time I was suicidal, living in Strathroy, we were on the phone and you got mad at me, telling me I was selfish and just wanted the attention, I told you I was thinking on taking the pills. You told me to go ahead and take the pills and this time, do it right. Now I don't know what to say about this...I am now stuck in my feelings....
I remember when I would come down to visit you, you would always put the makeup on me and cut my hair and dye it. You know, maybe how I looked wasn't so bad. Maybe the inside was who needed the pampering. We had some talks about dad, you told me some of your stuff and I told you some of mine, but the next day when I mentioned it to you, you would say " No, that never happened" I guess part of you wanted to heal but most of you didn't.
To finish this letter to you, my words to you is that, YOU need to get away from Cornwall and get some counseling. Be beautiful for yourself and not for anyone else.

To my oldest sister: I am sorry to say but, YOU are dad's right hand man. You didn't mean for this to happen, but this started when you were a child. He made you grow into a man instead of allowing you to be a little girl. I pity you the most. He made you do manly things, doing manly jobs around the house, speaking to people, ( you were allowed to speak ) he did land transfers in your name, I remember once for a dollar he put land in your name. You were tough and strong, you played mind games on me when you were younger and the last time you came here to see me, which almost cost me my life! When we were younger you told me you would give me a quarter to get in a tub with hot boiling water, I did, and there was no quarter. Or the dishes was another, there were many but to many to remember. Dad told you the subliminal words to use to get me to stay silent.
To finish with your letter, I would like you to know that MY HUSBAND is who kept me ALIVE when YOU came down to silence me! He does allow me to speak! It is YOU that doesn't, and for your reasons, I know why!! So enjoy his letter.

To my mother: That's a whole new page!!

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Daddy I'm Sorry

I am lost in this body, don't know when to come out,
All I do is watch, but mostly I pout,
I was left with no mommy,
no sisters, no brother,
cause they were sent to my aunts, and to my uncles.

I have seen my daddy, do something bad,
it made me cry, and it made me real sad.
He held his bloody hands across my mouth,
he told me not to scream, or ever tell.

I wait for days or even weeks,
hoping my mommy will come back to me.
" I won't tell daddy, I promise, I know what you said",
"mommy won't love you, or you- might be dead".
So my mouth is shut, no words I'll speak,
" please forgive me daddy, cause I DID SEE ".

Now this body waits to hear,
and they ask me to make it- really clear,
Why you did this, why I'm still here,
Why they keep hearing- this baby near.

I can't help it daddy, THEY WANT TO KNOW,
THEY DO LOVE ME, you don't anymore,
mommy has left me-I can't see,
AND THEY SAID THEY'LL HELP ME, TO SET
ME FREE.

So I'm breaking my promise and telling on you,
how YOU KILLED THAT BABY, IN THE BASEMENT-
ON LEDUC.

Love Unconditionally

What do the words unconditional love mean to you? I believe it's self explanatory, " we will always love you with no strings attached". You say no matter what happens I will always be there for you. This from someone who has never been there for her. Every step of her fight has been alone and her siblings not only didn't help but they threatened, yelled, abused and on occasion even tried to get her to commit suicide. This does explain what they were taught about love though. "To the siblings" Your parents twisted version of family they passed on to you. Not one of you have helped her through any of her pain, not even a kind word. The fact that the same person that abused her, abused you know who, and witnessed some of her pain, yet remained silent and actually sided against her in her fight. You know all she says is true, yet call her crazy. Are you still afraid or in denial of your father? I suppose avoidance and denial are the easier route to take and you all excel at taking the easy way out. You've been taught to follow and keep your mouth shut, but for once, how about having an independent thought. Fight for something you care about, not what you're told to care about. Try to remember what you went through when you were young. How I imagine you all made promises to yourselves that you truly would be there for each other when you grew up. How you would protect each other when you were able to ( now that you are bigger and he can't hurt you anymore ). Well, when you had the chance to do the right thing, it was still to hard for you, hard for her to, but she did it! She fought for what she and the rest of you went through, she was protecting you, she stopped the abuse from happening to you anymore and you chose to defend the ones that caused you all this pain over the one you promised to protect. There are so many strings attached to your unconditional love it resembles a puppet just as you all do. If you really want to help her, stand with her and say " I am here for you". Don't kneel behind your father and yell " Liar, Liar" you guys are all grown up now, for your sister's sanity-act like it.

Still fighting for his beautiful wife,

By: RIDDICK

A Sibling Who Is A Stranger

I am speaking of a sibling of mine,
Who came down to visit me one time,
When she led me to believe she was here for me,
With her was her friend, who threatened my family,

They kept me in my bathroom,
As I was curled up in a corner,
And they whispered, "you don't exist, anymore",
They tried to cast out a demon, so they say,
And all I could think of, was I have to pray.

I prayed that my husband, would come up the stairs,
And open the door and give them a scare,
My mind they had twisted, my freedom was lost,
My husband picked up the pieces, that was at a great cost.

When they left, and they were fast,
They did their jobs, in hopes it would last.
They tried to stop me, from testifying,
In hopes that the bad secrets, would be kept deep inside me.

The next day, my husband had found me,
deep in a corner, far away from reality,
I could hear his voice, but I was not responding,
For I didn't know, the pills had got me.

The sirens I could hear, the voices around,
My body was lifted from the ground,
Someone was screaming, a voice from within,
Stop, let me go, their tying me up, NO, NO

Then I awake, in a hospital bed,
wondering what has gone on, why am I, not dead.
They told me they pumped out my stomach instead,
They said I was lucky, but that was something, I had dread.

My husband and child came to my side,
To see me like this, was something to hide.
When it was time, for home I went,
My husband and I, had hours we spent.

When I knew what my sibling had done to me,
I went to the police, to report- what was to be,
But nothing was done by the crime they committed,
She said, " it never happened", she wouldn't admit it.

So, they almost succeed in taking my life,
my child's mother, and my husband's wife.
No charges filed, no one to blame,
You didn't succeed! I still remain;

A L I V E!

I Believe!

I often wonder why I was born,
Why God sent me here,
and left me to mourn.

Why I cried at night,
or curled in my corner,
Why I screamed with no voice,
Why I'd cut with no choice.

Why people who should of loved me,
left me with pain,
Why my mind felt like I, was going insane.

But I always believed, God was love,
and he walked with me, he was my dove.
So I still believe this, it wasn't him,
cause he watched as someone else,
made those sins.

So when the time comes, and the ends near,
whether it be victims or his judgements clear,
the perpetrators cries, will soon appear,
then the cycle will stop, freedom will be,
for the very first time,
WE ALL SHALL BE FREE!

Friday, August 1, 2008

Letter To The Perpetrators!

On bad days I see my wife struggling with such deep pain. I can't help her, no matter what I do. Some of you people in Cornwall did this to her, and you know who you are. You've done this to countless others and do you care? It appears to me it's what makes you feel good. How could you repeatedly inflict such pain on little ones make you feel good? Your not even human and actually, animals have more sympathy, so what does that make you? Your in a class all your own. Incapable of remorse or sympathy or any caring feelings. I imagine writing this is just a waste of time as you are void of any compassion. To the ones that are Priests, and you also know who you are, you spread the word of caring for your fellow man and having compassion for people. Do as I say, not as I do I suppose? It's absolute horror stories what you people have done in the abuse of trust, and power. I live with a woman who is 10 times stronger than any of you are and has more caring in one finger than you all have all together.
If you perpetrators have any kind of conscience or remorse, I wish that you never have I nights sleep without waking up in a sweat, screaming like you have left countless innocent people who's only crime was to try and have the one thing you are supposed to specialize in, FAITH.
What do you say to the families of the victims that didn't survive the pain? The ones your guilt tactics worked on. Would you say, " I'm sorry I let your whole family down and prematurely ended the life of one or more of your children, but hey, I'm not perfect". A nice cold confession, something like that? It's hard to believe but that is 10 times better than the message your sending out now. "We did nothing and the victims have problems".

If only for once you pedophiles would understand how much worse you are making it by lying about it. The abuse is happening again and again every time you deny it. All you have to do to help the situation is to practise what you preach. Be accountable for your sins and ask for forgiveness from your boss (GOD) and the person that was and is scared, and confused, (the little children, the adults) when you STOLE their LIFE, (the VICTIMS). Apologizing won't change the past but at least you can help the ones that did survive up till now, begin to heal. Just a simple admission and apology could save countless lives and if you think about it, if you didn't do that and one more victim you've touched as a child kills themselves YOU have committed murder yet again! So I guess, the choice is up to you. Deny it, lie about it, keep on hurting those you victimized in the past, continue to be responsible for the repercussions from your actions in the past and allow even more pain to be inflicted on the victims. Or start the healing process, approach the family of your victims, be accountable for your actions, tell them the TRUTH, stop being responsible for more premature deaths, and make healing a possibility for them. Then you can truly ask for forgiveness and you yourself can begin to heal. No more nightmares of your actions and hold yourself accountable by trying to help those poor people all you can on the road to wellness. Only then you can call yourself a man and for the first time do what you swore to do. HELP THE CHILDREN OF GOD!

Please think about it.

BY: RIDDICK

Thank you my friends:)

I came on here tonight to see that there were comments left here:) I would like to thank you:) I feel like I am not alone when you come here and talk with me or leave with a thought for me:) I am back:) it seems like someone this afternoon felt like writing, I am just happy to be back. I guess that sometimes my Identities need to leave their feelings and experiences with you, I know that it is healthy for them and me to allow this to happen. I am just happy because tonight I was able to go with my husband and child to a barbecue and we got to see animals of all kinds:) It was beautiful and it made me think how beautiful the world can be at times:) We even got stuck in a 4 wheeler in the bush because we went to see a beaver dam and there must of been to many of us in the back of the trailer, but it was the best:) I ended up walking a bit in the mud with high heels because we didn't think we were going to get stuck:):) I wish you were there, you would have laughed:)
Well, my tea is empty:) have to refill:) Have and goodnight, remember to breath in and out slowly like a balloon, and release your emotions:)

I've Lost a Few Days!

I arrived today thinking it was Thursday, and I guess no one was around to write to you till today. I can only assume it's because the one that mentioned about the sexual abuse at the hands of some priests has upset the unit!! I am not doing to well today. I need to go to a barbque with my husband and daughter and well, my husband said maybe we can go another time. It is me that is not wanting to go but some of the others do. I don't know what to do? I am hoping writing to you will help me to figure out why I don't want to go. I will try to tell you why I am upset. If you can bare with me that would be good.

My husband once told me " why do you still believe in God, when it's happened to you over and over the abuse, yet you still believe in him". I told him that I prayed when I was little even the same nights, every night when my father came into my room, I would ask God to help me to get through it and help me to stay alive. God helped me to stay alive because I am still here today.
I don't believe in the Catholic's and their teachings (Cornwall teachings)
I am lost today, I tried to give myself a shower to feel better, I tried to listen to relaxing music in my room by myself, and now I am attempting to write to you in hopes I can get better.

I am tired!!! I am tired of the pain, the pain of their hands on me, their things in my mouth, their doing really bad things to me!!!! I am tired of all the things that they tell me that its my fault that I will be the one punished for this!! What is wrong with the world??? What is wrong with people??? I believed in people, I peopled that people were good and that know one would ever lie!!! I believed that know one would ever ever want to hurt a child!!!! Who in God's name would ever do such a thing!!!! Why why why why???? I am trying so hard to let this pass to let me believe that it won't happen anymore, but you know, ONE CHILD, MANY CHILDREN WILL BE SEXUALLY ABUSE BY SOMEBODY, WHETHER IT'S A RELATIVE OR STRANGER AND EVEN THE PRIEST OF THE FAMILY!!!!!
My tears fall FOR ALL THE CHILDREN WHO ARE IN PAIN, I WANT TO HELP YOU, BUT I CAN'T EVEN HELP MYSELF!!!!!! I AM SO SORRY THAT YOU HAVE BEEN SEXUALLY ABUSE OR ANY TYPE OF ABUSE YOU HAD, IT WASN'T SUPPOSE TO HAPPEN TO YOU NOT TO ANYONE!!!!

CAN SOMEONE BELIEVE IN US????CAN SOMEONE HEAR US?????WILL THE PEOPLE OF CORNWALL HEAR OUR CRY'S?????BISHOP YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID AND WHAT YOU AND YOUR OTHER PRIESTS DID, PLEASE PLEASE ADMIT IT!!!!!!!!!!ADMIT IT TO FREE ALL OF US TO FREE THE INNOCENCE OF CHILDREN!!!! THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO NOTHING I CAN DO
STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Not a very good day today!

I know a lot of people in life go through bad days, and we shouldn't really complain because we are alive, and that should be the main thing. We should be thankful we are alive, isn't that what everybodys saying? Well today, in therapy it was emotionally upsetting. I went in there today knowing that I have been dealing with many challenges and a lot on my plate (shall we say).
I went in there smiling, then all of a sudden I started talking about what I wrote in here yesterday, I didn't get very far then I started crying ( not knowing why)then I started feeling angry inside ( not knowing why) all I could say to Blanche was not today, today I didn't want anything to happen to me. When I got home I decided to rest in hopes that it or should I say the Identities would be gone by the time I woke up. I was lucky that when I woke up it was safe. Every day it is like that for me, every day I am not sure if I will be here. So ....I don't know why I really had to say this, other then, there are times I wish ......

You know, I am sorry I can't continue on tonight, I don't seem to be making any sense tonight. I hope you had a good day today:) Someone just recently told me, please remember to stop and smell the roses:)

Have a good night:)

Monday, July 28, 2008

In The Basement Church of Cornwall!!

I was only 12 or 13 at the time when I was called a Catechism teacher. I don't even know how I got this job or why I did, I can only assume it was my Dad that told me to go there. I don't have to many memories of this because I have buried it deep within. I use to take the bus there then when I would arrive, I would go downstairs. Straight ahead, then to the right there was a room there. These small children were there, I believe about 5 or 6 maybe a bit older. I remember handing out pages of papers to the children. I saw some writings on them and I questioned to myself, these writings didn't seem to me the teachings of what the bible was that I read. I remember the children after would go into the bigger area, not a small room but ....like the size of a small gym. There was a table to the left with chairs and I remember the children sitting on them and there were priests there, 3 of them. I remember wine was given to the children and each child was taken out of there one at a time. I heard cries!

I am sorry, I am not ready for this!!!!!

I asked my husband to check my writing at the bottom here, and he
just questioned me whether or not I should put this on here because there's a fine line between being fenaticle and searching for justice. I want you to know this is a truthfull accounting of my memories. I am sorry that I get upset here below, and that this may be hard to take in. These things have happened to me and they are real. I don't want to keep anything in anymore and people should hear. I am relaxed now, and my husband spoke with me. There will be times that my writings will be like this, when there's memories that come up or feelings that I have to express, this is why I chose to do this website, it's a safe place where I can talk and let it (ALL) come out. If there are any comments you would like to leave, please do, or any questions you would like to ask, don't hesitate.

I am getting angry right now and I think it's because of what the priests have taught me!!!!
THEY ARE A CULT!!!! VERY BAD PEOPLE!!!!! THEY TEACH YOU TO ASK GOD FOR FORGIVENESS WHEN IT'S THEM THAT SHOULD BE FORGIVEN!! THEY TELL YOU TO PUNISH YOURSELF, THAT YOUR BAD AND DIRTY, THAT GOD WILL NOT FORGIVE YOU!!! AFTER HE MASTURBATED IN THE BOOTH, HE TOLD ME TO SAY MY OUR FATHER AND HAIL MARY BECAUSE I SAT THERE AND WATCHED!!!! I SAT THERE BECAUSE HE TOLD ME TO STAY!!!!!! IT WASN'T MY FAULT!!!!!! I READ MY BIBLE EVERY NIGHT EVEN WHEN MY FATHER WOULD COME INTO MY ROOM EVERY NIGHT!!! THESE CATHOLIC PRIESTS TAUGHT MY FATHER WHAT TO SAY AND DO TO ME!!!!!THEY SOLD PICTURES, EXCHANGED MONEY, AND SHARED THE CHILDREN TO EACH OTHER!!!!THEY DRUGGED WHO THEY NEEDED TO. THEY ARE SICK AND NEED HELP!!! BUT NOBODY IS LISTENING, NOBODY CARES!!! THEY KEEP ON DENYING THAT ANYTHING EVER HAPPENED!!!! WHEN IS SOMEONE GOING TO BELIEVE THAT IT DID HAPPEN??? HOW MANY SUICIDES AND MURDERS NEED TO HAPPEN AND HOW MANY MORE CHILDREN NEED TO BE SACRIFICED IN THE NAME OF INJUSTICE??????PLEASE, I PLEA WITH YOU TO HEAR THEIR STORIES BECAUSE THEY ARE TELLING THE TRUTH ABOUT THESE PRIESTS, DON'T TURN YOUR HEAD IN THE BELIEF THAT GOD WOULDN'T LET THIS HAPPEN, OR THAT THESE PRIESTS WOULD NOT BECOME PRIESTS IF THEIR INTENTIONS WERE TO HURT CHILDREN. IF YOU BELIEVE THEM THEN YOUR LIVING IN A WORLD WITH DARK LENSES ON. SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP!!

A Good Day

Hello, again it's 2 in the morning:) Well I went to church today with the family, no incidents this time. I enjoyed it and the music was great. When we went out after the services they were serving ice-cream and across the street they had this thing going on, it was to do with old cars. It brought back good memories when my brother use to own an awesome 57 Chev. I am happy to say this was a good memory:) My daughter look so beautiful today, I should brag because she is so intelligent and knows her styles. Before leaving for church she said, "Mom try this band on your hair, and this colored dress would look nice to", I smiled at her and told her she can be my personal dress up designer. It makes me think how amazing children can be. We can say there are times that we learn from our children. Sometimes I believe they act more mature then some adults. Today her and I went out to through the freezbie, (she actually taught me how to through a freezbie just a couple of days ago. It's funny because my husband taught her how to through it last week. Jade our pup who is not so much a pup now:) had decided to also learn to catch the freezbie, now she makes it a bit difficult for my daughter and I to play. She catches it before we get a chance. One thing I can say about her is that I have never seen a dog prance like she does, she runs so delicately you wouldn't believe it, she's like a kangaroo, you'd have to see it to believe it:) Maybe one day I'll get a picture on here (and older one )then you could see how beautiful she is. I didn't think I would like a boxer but I certainly grew to love her. My daughter calls her, her sister:)

You know, it feels good to talk about good things:) and happy moments, and it's OK to have them, I always thought I didn't deserve it or that something bad would happen to me ( because I wasn't suppose to enjoy life or anything) but you know, once you start having a bit of fun and nothing bad comes after it, then you think WOW it's OK, it's OK to have fun and nobody is taking it away from me and I don't have to punish myself:)

If you can answer this for me it would be nice, have you ever felt responsible for everything, or had the feeling something bad would happen if you had fun?
I will leave it at this and a wait your answer:)

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Remembering My Brother

I looked at a recent photo of my brother that I haven't seen in 9 years, and I wonder where have those years gone, why is he older now. It is ashame that abuse that goes on in the family at the beginning seem to eventually separate the siblings. I am so lost for words right now....my brother never did any wrong to me, he always loved me, I always loved him. This separation is at the hands of my father's. Our shame as siblings, belongs to my FATHER!! yet we still pay the price. What would my brother and I have to say to each other if we saw each other. Would it have to be of the past? We carry guilt, guilt that we should have been there to protect each other, but HOW, we were just kids ourselves! It wasn't our job to protect, it was our mother and father. There was a time that I saw my brother walk past my room when my father was in there with me, doing things to me, my brother glanced then turned his head away and went to his room. There were times I had thought, why, why didn't he say something, but you know what, it wasn't my brother's job, he was a young teen, he may have had fears himself of my father. Who knows what my father did to him. I remember when my brother and I use to sing together, the song sang by Donny and Marie Osmond " I'm a little bit country, I'm a little bit of rock and roll" we use to do this song together, we use to have food fights when my father wasn't around. I use to watch him play hockey, he was so good at it. And I remember his sadness and how he had to leave the house a lot. Now were just strangers, how can that be? The silence and secrecy that this family had to have. My father kept everyone in his little web and if anyone tried to crawl out, he made sure he crippled you so you couldn't leave. It was either financially, cause you had to work for him and he would give you so much money just to make it but not enough to get by. He would play the guilt so badly that it made you feel lesser then a bug on the ground. He would always have a card to play and he was always holding the ace in his hand. Everyone, in his eyes were always below him, know one could ever walk away from him. He showed the typical signs of violence, throwing things, yelling, humiliating, abusing dogs (kicking a puppy we once had down the stairs over and over to the little pup couldn't get up) kind of like what he did to us. Slamming his fists on the table, getting drunk so bad that he couldn't even make it to the bathroom, he crawled to the bathroom. He took us to bars when we weren't of age and would get us drunk, laughing at us. He drugged my mother at night so he could come and rape me, his excuse for my mother not waking up in the morning was that, she is depressed and needed to take something to sleep. There's just so much that has happened in my life that it would take a life time to tell, but for now I have to say goodnight.

It's safe to sleep at night for me now, I have a lot of sleep catching up to do, I never had that when I was little.
So I bid you good night, though it's morning now:)
Thanks again for an ear:)

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Poem: From my Inner Child

I hear the sounds and echoes, of my black shinny shoes,
as I run across the hardwood floor, the happiness I start to loose,
Mommy's not here, the house is big and empty,
the only person that I find, is my daddy, who's out to get me.

I fear him cause I know,
he looks at me and says, "it's time for a nap, lets go".
He takes me to the room, that I hardly even know,
cause this house we moved in, was quick from the place before.

He lays in the bed beside me, he tells me to give him a hug,
I paused for a moment and feared, then looked out the window above,
then he pressed against me tight, I could hardly breath you know,
his chest was wet and stinky, my face was smothered with force.

I felt something strange against me, this thing was poking my tummy,
he told me not to be afraid, but all I wanted, was mommy.
He took off the dress I was wearing, even the pretty shoes I wore,
then told me to turn around, a horsey game, and more.

When daddy fell asleep, I slipped out from under his arm,
then went and grabbed my clothes, and tip toed on the floor,
I crawled pass the long hallway, and found the closet door,
and there I stayed, shoes and coats covering me, so daddy
wouldn't find me, no more.

But me hiding never worked, and mommy was never there,
and daddy always said, I was his favorite, that I was special,
but I never really cared.
For many years things happened I'd hear, cause I never stayed
around, someone else took my place and pain, and laid there on the ground.

So now within this body I stay, trapped till someone finds me this way,
I cry no more for my mommy to come, she left me alone with a monster at home.
Now I hear the inner self saying, "were fighting for you and the others are praying.
You see, Cornwall has heard of the abuse that's happened, maybe they'll hear us,
and maybe they'll answer.

Dedicated to one of my (inner child): age 4

Friday, July 25, 2008

MOM, I REMEMBER!!!

Hi, glad you could stop in:) Yesterday when I was flicking through the channels on TV, I noticed a program that was called "Steve Wilkos" and his show was about a mother who knew about the sexual abuse that her husband did to their daughter, and she did NOTHING to protect her from him. It really was a difficult show for me to watch and my husband kept saying " are you sure you should be watching this?" I told him, I have to because I need to heal and this is apart of my healing. I could relate to it very much. My mother DID know about my father sexually abusing me, she did NOTHING. To make maters worst, one time for the first time I thought I would TELL her a time in my past ( I was about approx 35 years old, just before I charged him) what my father had done to me sexually, and her answer to that was, "WELL, WHEN YOUR FATHER DID THAT TO ME, WE ENJOYED IT!!". I was beside myself literally and I have never told her anything after that again. It makes me sick to know that some mothers know of the abuse happening and they still continue to allow their children to be exposed to the perpetrator. Just talking to you here about all this, it's making me remember other things that I need to bring up. She has even mentioned to me that when some of the priests were being charged she said, "You know it's about time, all those priests were looking down on your father for what he did- now it looks good on them."She knew!! She knew all along what was going on and did NOTHING. All the excuses that, that mother was saying on Steve Wilkos, was mostly what my mother told me. Her excuses were: " If I tell anyone that your father is abusing you then all of you will be separated and taken away. If I leave your father, he will find us and kill us. Your father always told me, that if I left he would come after me and kill me because, if he couldn't have me then no one will". Those are just some excuses that she used. I use to believe that my mother was my hero, and I wanted to be just like her, because there were times that she would let me cuddle behind her legs, or when she would play with us, or when she would worn us that "your father is home, go to your rooms to play". I guess there were times that she tried to confront him, like the time she had a loaded gun to his head (never pulled the trigger) but maybe this stopped him for a couple of days. Or the time she did threaten to leave him (didn't)maybe because he gave her some flowers and said he was sorry. OR maybe the talks on Sundays when all the girls had to go to their room in the morning and kneel down beside the bed and say to my father what he did the night before to us(because he couldn't remember) in front of my mother (they were in the bed with no cloths on, but the covers were some what on ) This again to me was being exposed AGAIN. There are so many strange things my mother did. She had a good heart in her ways, she was nice to people (my mother is still alive, I am saying had or was because I haven't spoken to her for a long time now, years now) She still lives with my father to this day! "She always said, "Stay by your man" well she certainly did, at the cost of HER CHILDREN!!! You know, I am not sure if I mentioned what happened to me when I was 14. If some of my family are reading this now, some may not know this, but I am pretty sure they do. When I was 14 my mother took me to see my doctor ( I call him, the BUTCHER doctor) I remember her sitting in the waiting room and said for me to go ahead into the doctors office. I was scared because I didn't know what was going to happen. The doctor had me undress and put on a gown, (he didn't leave the room and there was no one else in the room ) he was getting some type of tool ready, he told me to lay down on the table and all I can remember is the PAIN AND SCRAPING IN THE INSIDE OF MY PRIVATES, AND THIS LOUD SUCTION SOUND. After it was done, I asked him one question, was it a boy or girl, he said " a girl". I remember walking out very slowly and when I got outside it was damp and wet and the ground had leaves on it. My mother seemed to be in a hurry but it was hard for me to walk. When we got home she told me that she had to leave. I was alone in the house and the pain was getting worse, I remember going to the washroom and I heard a loud plunk sound in the toilet, when I looked into the toilet, it was a baby foot very small, I looked at it,my stomach got worse and I decided to call mother, I remember crawling on the floor to get to the phone, (the phone was hanging on the wall) I phoned her to tell her about the bleeding I was getting, I can remember now to this day the words that she said, " just go take a bath, you'll be fine, this happened to me when I hemorrhaged, then get your feet up".

I'm taking a deep breath now, I don't think I should write any more. Mom, ( I know dad was on this web page, because if you notice in the polls where it said, should a father that molests his child, do you think he should be on the pedophiles lists (there are two so far that said no) In my opinion, it can only be him and or someone from the family) who else would ever believe that a father that molests a child would not molest other children? there for, should be on a pedophiles list! Maybe I shouldn't be putting this opinion on here because I am asking for a poll on this subject but I hope you can understand why I am? and when my father was convicted and charged ( slap on the hand) he was NOT deemed a pedophile, but one of his conditions, he wasn't allowed around any child under the age of 16 unless accompanied by a parent, that parent could even be my mother being there!

Enough for now, I need to take my daughter to the beach, I also have to be functioning in the present time.
Even at the beach it is hard to wonder what child is going home only to be abused. I need to focus, and know that my daughter needs me and I have to be there for her!!!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Listen to your children

Around every corner,
on every block,
creatures lay in waiting,
that's why they call it, stock.

They find themselves a victim,
they formulate a plan,
they have to prey on children,
they couldn't con a man.

With promises of candy,
a night with lots of fun,
If we don't watch out closely,
their minds already begun.

To steal all their innocence,
nightmares they can't forget,
just prey to God they haven't come,
it hasn't happened yet.

Not trying to make you crazy,
or put fear in your heart,
I'm just wishing every parent,
would really play it smart.

Please, believe your children,
there's no reason for them to lie,
they don't want to disappoint you,
never wish to make you cry.

They just want to have fun,
and the safety they deserve,
if they have to come to you,
it takes a lot of nerve.

To tell you someones hurting them,
usually a trusted friend,
it's up to you to save them,
make their pain- come to an end.

By: RIDDICK

Below this, is my husband's COURAGEOUS writing to come forward and talk about HIS pain and what he has endured because of some PEDOPHILES of CORNWALL!

I'm going to jump ahead a few years after I rescued my daughter from Cornwall. To a time when our lives started to become normal, so to speak. The FALSE accusations to the local OPP and the C.A.S. stopped. The threatening phone calls stopped. We began to focus on our own lives. You have to forget the past to be able to move onto the future and that's when they STRIKE, when you let your guard down. I was trying to catch up on finances so I was working almost 70 hrs. a week and through calls and hang ups, (figured out when I wasn't there).
I now have to bring up my wife and with all the pain she's gone through, I've tried not to talk about all her bad memories. She was this pedophiles sex slave for 17 years. I still have so much pain thinking what she had to endure with no one to help her. He knew, as before, this was his key into our family. He was also involved on a high level with all the sexual abuse clan and cover-up (that some say, didn't happen). That is where he learned how to brainwash people and in my wife's case subliminal words (force people to do what they wish). When she was eventually able to charge him, he became a liability to his brave little gang and was told, (I assume) to get out. he attended some of those private parties referred to in the Inquiry. You know, the ones that never happened!! That's where he learned his mind controlling technique and manipulation tactics. So he pulled out the old gag of tricks and set his plan in action. First he isolated her from all outside contact, he had her give her kids to her ex-husband ( a closet abuser himself ) then say all she had to do was listen to him and her life would get back on track. Well, he told her that I would never get a job, and that I was having affairs (he did), he said to her that I owed massive drug debts ( he was into loads of sleeping drugs, that he gave his children and wife) the WORST ONE EVER, that I was abusing my daughter sexually and mentally ( HE DID). He manipulated and brainwashed my wife into attacking me in the dark and told her " get him where it hurts, his arm!" ( I am a carpenter by trade ) this perpetrator use to own a construction business until my wife charged him! My wife ( by no fault of hers ) tore my shoulder out of joint, grabbed our daughter out of bed and ran to the phone to call the police and say I assaulted the two of them and said I was going to kill them.
I'm leaving out a lot of the particulars because it is just to hard to remember all this.
They were so mad I made bail on these trumped up charges, he told my wife "get a gun, and shoot him when you see him", ( she even told the police this, they did nothing ) They kept phoning the police saying I was breaching my conditions by seeing them and even once they said I was holding them hostage, which allowed the police to forcibly enter her house looking for me. The police then phoned me and said I was stalking her and they sent the police in the area, on a foot chase around the place she was living. The police phoned me and said my bail was being revoked because someone identified me. The only thing that saved me was the fact I fractured my heel 2 days earlier at work and was unable to walk, let alone out run police. These charges went on well over a year and in the end all evidence was gone and the police asked my wife to say she couldn't remember what happened so the police could take the stand to convict me. She wouldn't let them frame me and took the stand herself and I received an absolute discharge and the judge said this never even happened. Even after that, I was not allowed to see my daughter because I signed the releases I was requested to, to have my medical records and all else they wanted. I took their anger management test they required, passed it. I took their substance abuse classes they required and passed it. I did every thing they requested and they sent a recommendation to court saying they believed I should NOT be allowed to see my daughter and I was uncooperative.

After I was found not guilty, my name and address appeared in the local paper. It cost me about $10,000 to fight their lies. I was unable to do some work because of time lines. I am still injured and now can't work after one surgery and on top of it all, the time I LOST with my DAUGHTER! After all this I didn't even receive an apology from the police, the paper, nor CAS for false accusations (and their attacks got worse!!)

Since then in short, we lost our house, they tried to talk my wife into committing suicide, 3 times! Got threatened with our lives and had to move and go in hiding. I have to always be near my wife in case of any episodes. I can't write any more and this is about one tenth of what has been done to us. How much more can we take?

A little note on the thing that matters the most! Our daughter has almost all straight A's in school, she received student of the month! She was told by the school teachers and principal that she has infinite good qualities. We are so proud of her, she is the only reason we are alive!!! I mean that. She is my HERO!!!!
I am sorry, I must take a break. I hope I can finish this story so the world knows what is really happening to the silent ones, afraid to fight back!

By: RIDDICK