Christmas

Hello, I wanted to talk today about the Holidays, "which is not surprising for many people". I know that for many-Christmas is the best time of the year (which is very good)but as you might know-Christmas is hard for other people. There are families who find it hard to celebrate for many reasons, I can't say that it's money being the first thing...in my opinion I believe it's the memories of the adults Christmas that brings back a time that wasn't so happy; whether it's wanting to give their children everything that they didn't have or maybe not being able to give them much because they never had much. Unfortunately they believe that if they didn't have a Christmas why should their child have one, they might say,"Oh, get over it, I didn't have anything for Christmas that I can remember, so don't pout, be happy with what you have, some kids across the world don't even have gifts or even celebrate Christmas". Then with the parent saying this, the child's Christmas might carry into his or her family tradition thus causing a repeated dysfunctional Holiday. As for the parent that wants the child to have everything, it may cause a repeated-in the red- bank account if they don't have the money to give their child everything but spends what they don't have. I believe that is why many people have racked up credit cards and unpaid rent for January, they will do what ever is needed to give their child everything that they didn't have. "Is this good? I don't believe it is..because soon the parents after the holidays will start arguing over bills that haven't been paid because of Christmas and then they keep struggling to catch up. For the families that have the true meaning of Christmas and know that Christmas is NOT about themselves...that it's about their Children, that it's about sharing their time and love with them, example: baking together for the coming holiday, building snowman's, watching Christmas shows together, singing carols, reading the story of Saint Nick, and mainly just being their with them. Knowing that there can be a few gifts for the child..maybe one or two that the child really wants...what about making something for the child...I know the children of today would say..."What!! that's not what I asked for...OH, thanks.."
What if this Christmas you were to do that...maybe they wouldn't like it as much but they may get used to it if in return you spent more time with them..next year would be easier then the following year even better. I believe the children of today..most of them are used to getting what they want, again I believe it's the guilt parents have within themselves ( their past, maybe they spent to much time at work- guilt can add to this)One thing I thought of, what if the families that have a child that have way to many toys, and really doesn't even know what he or she wants for Christmas-what if the family spoke about maybe giving some of their toys for Christmas to others that don't have any...you would not believe the emotion that one can feel after giving...maybe just one toy the child can give...explaining and showing the "heart of Christmas"....starting this tradition might be a good one for when the child is really young, so when they get older they are use to giving and knows it makes them feel good. Wouldn't that be something to teach your child? and your child would eventually do this for his or her generation to be. I don't know...maybe I am just rambling on here:) I can say that I believe Christmas does make people feel more- whether it's good or bad...Christmas has a magical way of bringing in emotions and miracles. What about the families who have been far apart for many years because of hurt and then one Christmas..maybe this Christmas they call and for the first time they tell each other how they feel. Why is that? Could it be because Christmas is about a "child" a child....Christmas brings emotion because of OUR childhood....what it was like growing up, if we had Santa bring us toys or mom reading us a book or dad making that special sled or taking us out on a ride down the snowy hill...or our sister's and brother's playing with us with our new toys. Maybe it wasn't all Rosy at Christmas...abuse that happens, yelling going on, parents being drunk, fighting siblings, something you had asked Santa for and it didn't come under the tree.."you know, that special toy you always wanted". Christmas does bring up our past; what do we do with it? We can always start a new tradition...we can keep the same traditions that we were use to...we can celebrate it on a different day...it is our choice to change or keep the same for our children. If Christmas is hard for you each Holiday...then maybe it is time for a change...maybe you can do something different this Holiday...I know it's hard for people to make change...but if you don't...you will never know:) It's not a sin to change a tradition..especially if it's YOUR family now...if you decide to keep your tradition because Christmas is always a happy time for you then I would say " I am happy for you that you are having a wonderful Christmas:)sharing that with your children is something healthy for them to carry on to their future Christmas traditions.
I use to remember when my Christmas childhoods were not the greatest, unfortunately I carried pain to many other Christmas's with my children when they were young..I did a lot of crying on this Holiday. Staying in my room for the day while the children celebrated Christmas with their father, was something they were use to. I was always sick...heart broken, confused and sometimes got drunk, wanting to forget the pain was something I always tried to do, "numb it away" other times when company came around...I use to put, shall I say " a face on" till our company left, going to the washroom off and on just to cry, then straightening up myself and walking back into the living room like nothing happened. Times for me have changed...a lot of counselling...I know longer do this, I have seen my actions and talked through the pain, then realized it didn't have to be this way...I didn't have to ruin it for my children nor myself...I could make that change, that tradition....things at Christmas did change and I am still here:) I am not saying that I am really happy at Christmas..it still effects me a bit...but I am working on it:) I haven't spoken to my sister's in a long time...my mother I haven't spoken to all but 5 minutes which in itself was very bad in 2005 and before that, haven't seen her since 2001..and well..I'm working on memories and trying to heal, my father...I have pity for him because he is going to be going...well only God knows....as for my brother, I love him dearly and wish I could see him but because of the hurt that both of us went through ..well, I believe it would be hard to talk or see each other...because in reality, seeing each other reminds us of the past and that can't be stopped...we both have to be ready to talk about it, accept and heal together. I believe God will know when it's time...as for now, my children need me and my youngest needs a happy tradition to pass on to her family:)
OH! I have great news!! I am now officially a GRANDMOTHER!!!:):):) How wonderful is that!! My oldest son and his wife, had a BABY BOY!! My Grandson!:) He was born on December 14th...it is so hard to tell you how I felt when I held him in my arms for the first time, knowing that my oldest baby had a baby of his own...and by the way..now I can say I have grey hair because I am a proud Grandma:) How much appreciation I had for his wife...she did the most important thing in this world and created a miracle "bringing a child into this world" I never looked at it this way...not even when I had my own children...I never realized how important I was for bringing my beautiful children into this world.........WOW, I am now speechless!! This world is all about "CHILDREN" even ourselves, we were once children...lets just take a moment through the Holidays and look at our family...our own children and if you don't have children find the child within you and GIVE your child a great big hug and do the things you always wanted to do around Christmas time " Have fun! play games, songs, sleigh rides, movies, a warm blanket by the fire, decorate, there is so much more...allow yourself to have this and share it because YOU are worth it and most importantly ..so is your child or children:)

Have a wonderful Christmas:) May all your blessings be given to your family and your laughter be shared with others!:)
Until next time, have a great night and or day!